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My dad is at peace


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My dad passed away this past Monday (2/23/04) with me, my mom and my sister with him. I am still in shock that the cancer just got ahead of us and he is gone, but he is finally at peace. Thanks so much to everyone (my "new" family) for all your words of wisdom, your knowledge about this terrible disease and your prayers.

I want to share with you my dad's passing. For those of you who are unsure you want to be with your loved one, I would encourage you to do so. My dad did not have an easy time, the cancer was shutting off his windpipe and his vena cava (sp?) was flowing the opposite direction causing his lungs to fill with fluid. My biggest fear was seeing him not being able to breathe. I followed the onc out of the room on the day he become so bad and discussed this in great detail. The onc promised me that he would not suffer and would not know about breathing difficulties. I am so thankful for our onc and the hospital staff because they made my dad's passing so very peaceful. He did have a tough time for several hours before he was made comfortable with meds and asked all of us why it was taking so long and he wanted to go "home". This was my dad's way of preparing us for his departure and journey to a better place. My dad also had sleep apnea which made his breathing inconsistent. Towards the end of his time, his respirations increased, his color returned to normal and his sleep apnea went away and he was resting very peacefully. My dad died with us in the room -- peacefully in his sleep.

It has been a very difficult week and in the five hours of visitation at the funeral home (small town in Indiana), we had around 300 people to console us. My dad would have been so honored! Also, at the cemetery, and Army helicopter flew over and kept circling. We live hundreds of miles from a military base, but my dad put 20 years in the Army and even went for training to fly a helicopter for awhile. Nobody planned this and we still don't know why the helicopter was there, but everyone there thought somehow it was a tribute to my dad.

Thought by sharing this, it may help some of you who are having a rough time right now. I already miss my dad so much and it doesn't really seem real and I'm sure there are tough times ahead, but I have found an inner peace to help me deal with this.

Thanks again for your inspiration!

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I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I, too, was with my Dad when he died of lung cancer 15 years ago (now my Mom has it too). I found so much comfort in being with my Dad at that time. My Mom whispered in his ear and he was gone. Please know we are thinking of you and keeping you, your family, and your Dad in our prayers.



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I am so very sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing such a private moment for your family with us. It really helps to put many of us at ease about the "unknown." I think that it is only human to fear death, and you have comforted us despite your own grief. You are such a comfort to so many, please stay wih us and let us comfort you when you need it. God Bless you and your family.


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Thanks to all of you for your overwhelming messages. I will keep visiting the board as two of my co-workers have parents also battling lung cancer (newly diagnosed) and with your knowledge, I have been helping them through the initial shock of the diagnosis. I gave one of them this website for info and maybe they'll join us. You guys don't realize how much you helped me, my dad and my entire family during his battle. When you get blown away with the news that you have cancer, you start looking everywhere you can for info and I'm so glad I found this board!

Lots of hugs to everyone :):):)

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Kim, I am so sorry that you have lost your father. It is so wonderful that your father was surrounded by the people that loved him...I am sure that it made is journey easier-he left this Earth surrounded by love, and most surely he was welcomed into the spiritual world with love as well...

Take care, and I hope you stay on here, we need eachother. Deb

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Please accept my deepest sympathies for the loss of your father. It is a blessing that he was able to find comfort and peace at the end and to be surrounded by those he loved as he transitioned from this world to one without pain and of endless beauty.

I pray that you and your family find peace and warmth in your loving rememberances. May God bring you comfort.


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