Guest Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 My name is Jeanne from Burke, VA. After having severe back/shoulder pain in early Dec,2003 on Dec 29 a chestx-ray showed left lung tumor with right rib metastisis and spot in liver. Confirmed ct,bone scan and broncoscopy for Stage IV. Rushed to Rad and chemo w/ carbo-taxol and just had my ct redone after 2nd chemo. Will get my results on Tues. I haven't gotten a second opinion because I feel very comfortable with drs so far. I just can't get comforable with myself or my emotions. I am 48 and feel helpless to answer my 4 children questions, fears, tears and anxiety when I can't even address my own. I still feel numb most of the time and just follow where ever I am lead because I am so terrified that something will happen to me. I know I need to get out of this mode, I just don't know how or where to begin. I pray to God to help me each day and somehow wind up taking over again by becoming like a turtle withdrwn in its shell. If I allow myself to feel too much I will loose all control and it will consume me. I fear the night that something will happen, fear being alone yet I'm isolated because I can't drive due to the back problems and pain meds to be able to gewt out and feel like I am still living life. My husband tries so very hard to do everything, my sister too, but she has a life to live as well as her mother-in-law (alzheimer) with her. I feel like I am overwhelming her though she never complains. I just don't know what to do with all this stuff and I really need to hear from someone who has been there who might be able to help me know its really okay to feel any thing any time but how to deal with it in a constructive fight for myself. If anyone can give me some insight I'd appreciate it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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