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Posted

My dad is doing awfully now. Seemed to tear up quite easily. He is visiting now - first time since mom's death. It is really hard seeing his grandchildren w/o my mom.

Any suggestions would be appreciated

Guest hopeful2
Posted

John, well you came to the right place. I have a library of books on grief. I lost my mom in 1995, my 22 year old son in 1997, and my dad in 2000.

All of John Edward's books are good especially, "One Last Time." Books by George Anderson, James Van Praggh, Bettie Eadie. Go to Amazon.com they have a great selection under grief/breavement. I don't know why but it seems women do better than men when a spouse passes. My dad was in such a depression for 5 years it just bout killed me to watch him. I hope this is a help and the books make him feel better. They helped me because even though I believe we go on after life here, there are so many wonderful stories in these books that it helps build our faith. God Bless!!

Posted

Hi John,

Yes,it will be hard on your Dad and you...allow each other to express that... :cry: I don't know your situation but when my Mom died we had my Dad over night once or twice a week (He lives an hour from me) and being surrounded by 3 active children has a way of distracting you :wink: When he wanted to talk about Mom I let him...

Here are some good books for grief:you can preview on Amazon

Grief Observed by CS Lewis (He lost his wife)

When God Doesn't Make Sense by James Dobson

Elizabeth Kubler Ross also did alot of work in this area though I've never actually read her book.

God bless

Lynn

Posted

hi john,

another book would be, "When a lifemate dies-stories of love, loss and healing" edited by susan heinlein, grace brumett and jane-ellen tibbals. there is also an online grief website i found quite helpful called BEYOND INDIGO. thinking of you and your dad.

Mirrell

Posted

Thanks lynn.

Thanks mirrell. Mirrell, sorry about your dad. I remember reading your posts. It is strange that you feel like you know people fairly well through these brief postings

Posted

I also would like to thank you all for your suggestions, and John thanks for asking the question. I think that it is so awesome how so many of us have the same needs and can help each other. I have been worrying so much about my dad since mom passed away last month. May God Bless You All.

((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))) Shelly

Posted

When my dad died within two weeks of entering the hospital and diagnosed with leukemia, my mom had a horrible time. She broke her leg two months later. She tried anti-depressants-no help. She practically stopped driving, couldn't take care of her house even though she was in good health, and became very demanding of us. Finally I talked her into going to see a therapist. It took a year to get her to go. I went with her the first time(she felt I had the problem since I was the one to tell her she needed it and we fought all the time which was unusual for us) After that mom went by herself. She kept saying it didn't help but didn't argue about going. Thank God two years later she was back to normal.

Hopefully you can talk your dad into going.

Rosanne

Posted

Dear John,

Oh my friend, I am sooo very sorry that you all have to go through these tough times. However, it does sound very normal to me. Grieving comes in all shapes and sizes, and it has to run it course. Time my friend, it just takes time, and right now it's very fresh in all your minds, but trust me when I say it DOES get softer!! Lots of TLC and let the grief run it course.

(((((((((((((((((((John and your Dad))))))))))))))))))))

I know I find it comforting to be able to talked about wonderful memories that happened with my loved ones that have passed. Just because they have passed over, doesn't mean they aren't in our hearts and on our minds anymore. It's really okay to talk about your mom and to keep her wonderful memory alive! There is peace and comfort in doing so. It will bring tears and it will bring joy.

I will also suggest maybe a grief group for your dad. When my mom passed away 15 years ago, I joined a Grief Support Group, and it was so helpful. Most funeral homes offer them today. But, don't rush it, your pain and loss is new and you and yoru dad are still going through the early stages of your grief.

Good luck and God Bless.

Warm and Gentle Hugs,

Posted

john,

i know what you mean about knowing people through their posts. i have been hoping to post a picture, but have been too busy/lazy to get around to it. thank-you for your condolences. it has almost been six months. i will not say anything will get better. i live day to day. but with love and support, things become more bearable. i am starting to remember my dad without his cancer, and in my dreams, i still talk and communicate with him. my mom has had the hardest time. like your dad. it can be so upsetting. i think the book i suggested helped her to know that she wasn't alone. next month, the bench we have bought in a public park goes up, along with a dedication. it could be the closure my mom has been searching for. give your dad lots of space, lots of time to listen to him, and never forget to ask your own questions. it will help him know that you think of her often as well. thinking of you and your dad. mirrell

Posted

Mirrell....

I can't believe that it has been six months.... my heavens it seems like just yesterday that I read the post that you were going home. If it seems like yesterday to me then I know it must seem that way to you also. I remember crying when I read it and wished that I could say something to make you feel better. Now here you are, trying to make me and others feel better. We sure do seem to know each other on here. I've been here for almost 7 months now. What a wonderful place this is. And thank you for staying around with us.

Renee

Posted

John,

You have been such a wealth of knowledge to all of us and we do so appreciate it soooooo much.

All of the books mentioned are good - John Edward, James Van Pragh, Sylvia Browne, James Moody, Bettie Eadie, and so many others if you just do a search of life after death. There is a whole new library category for this now since this topic has exploded with new authors.

Blessins to you and your father,

Peg

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