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This week


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After this week's chemo, I think Dad is doing ok. We took a drive around the lake yesterday, looked at the new boats docked in the marina. It was a short outting, but it got him out of the house.

Dad's counts were a little low this time so he got an arenesp shot. The past few weeks his counts have been good so he hasn't needed one. I am dreading what might happen in the next few days because he almost always has a reaction to the arenesp (dizzy, vommitting, headache) but it lasts only 1-2 days, then works wonders.

My mom is the queen of denial...and hey, that's ok with me. She is the one with him 24/7 and he has been the one true love she has ever known. All the research, information, med. schedule, appointments--everything falls on me. That's the least I can do for her (and dad). She is convinced now that Dad is OK and he needs to "move his butt" around the house. He even needs a hair cut now after being bald all of Oct-Jan. She talks about the things they want and must do when Dad "gets well" and she cooks a million things a day to get him to eat. In her mind, if he eats, he's A-OK. It keeps her strong to think that way I guess-

And maybe he will be better, I pray it so. But I always have the little voice :evil: in my head that cautions me or reminds me of all the info I have read or those damned statistics. Need to stifle that little voice! :x

So I really am just rambling here, everything is ok. Dad's as stable today as he was a few weeks ago, give or take a few nauseas days. I'm trying to keep my CWD in check (Cronic Worry Disease) and enjoy every day that I spend with him.

Even have a job interview today. (My internship ended at the law firm a few weeks back) so this is a step into the future....Been afraid of what the future may bring in terms of my dad, so this is a much needed bright spot. Got to keep busy or the CWD gets to me and like Dad's nausea, once it starts it is so hard to stop it!

God bless all of you and thanks for the ear(s)!

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First of all - good luck with the interview! Sounds like you had a nice drive with your Dad and he is improving. I hear you on the Mom front. Mine was so deep in denial she wouldn't even say the word CANCER. She would call it my "illness" or my "condition". Whatever helps them cope, I guess.

Here's to many more lovely drives - and continued good days for you and your Dad!! :lol:


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Guest canuckwebgrrl


Glad to hear your Dad is doing so well. My mother is also in deep denial about my step-dad. My sister is quite concerned about this, but I figure if things start to go badly she'll have to face it then. For now just being positive (or pretending everything's OK), seems the best course of action anyway.

Good luck with the interview!

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Hi Katie,

Glad to here that your Dad is getting out of the house and enjoying things! Denial really isn't bad when you consider some of the alternatives.. :roll::shock: Keep that CWD under control... maybe we could set up a program to help each other deal with it! Have to think about that one.. but i definately fall under that CWD disorder... :roll:

Take care and many blessings and prayers for you and Dad.


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Aw, Laurie, You sure DO know how I feel huh? You and I will start the CWD support group for family members and loved ones of those fighting L/C. :wink:

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Hey Katie,

Keep up the great work. Every family with LC needs an advocate like you in it. I'm the one in our family, and I know exactly how you feel. My Dad is just like your Mom! Sometimes I have to remind him about babysteps, and allowing Mom to have some Stay-in-bed days, when she needs them!

Good luck on your interview.


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((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))) to Katie and all the other wonderful caregivers here.

I was born with CWD inherited from my mother, I don't tell her anything unless i know for sure , I hate for her to worry about her soon to be 45 year old son.

Everyday I thank God for this message board it really lets me knonw I'm not alone in this fight for my life.

It reminds me of AA so much love and support here.

LUV YA ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Every family has to have one strong person. You are the one in your family and I am the one in mine.

I do it all, absolutely every bit of it. The children's attitude is that I am not prioritizing - BS - that is how they do not feel guilty for not helping more.

But, it is only occassionally I feel sorry for myself. Really I am the lucky one - to have this wonderful man in love with me, to have a busy and fulfilling life and so many more joys.

I am also not in denial about this disease. It is a crappy disease but I will do EVERYTHING I can to help my husband every step of the way.

With all the drs are saying we are also OPTIMISTIC - that may be denial but I don't think so.

Stay strong - they all need you and, if you are like me, you feel good being the strong and dependable one. (Much better than being a wuz)

Good luck with the job.

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Thanks yall! I do feel grateful and blessed to have this time with BOTH my parents and I think if everyone around here began to offer their help, I'd put them off and still take on everything myself, I'm just that way. Know things are done right and feel secure if I'm the one doing them. It makes me feel useful, like I am helping in this fight somehow.

Laurie, I do the strangest things. I'll clean out and organize closets, rearrange furniture or mow the grass several times a week. Even Tai-Bo! Anything to completely exhaust myself so that I will fall asleep. Most days it works. Got to keep the CWD at bay!

About to have a hectic and busy weekend and hoping to sleep well because of it! Prayers to all of you, my friends.

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