Jump to content

And Then There's the Flip Side.


DeanCarl

Recommended Posts

A response, if you will, to Snowflakes "Dear Tech Support" post:

---------------------------------------------

I'm currently running the latest version of GirlFriend and I have been having some problems lately. I have been running the same version of DrinkingBuddies 1.0 forever as my primary application, and all the Girlfriend releases I have tried have always conflicted with it. I hear that Drinking Buddies runs fine as long as Girlfriend is ran in background mode and the sound is turned off.

Unfortunately, I can't find the switch to turn the sound off. Therefore, I have to run both of them separately. Girlfriend also seems to have a problem coexisting with my Golf program, often trying to abort Golf with some form of timing incompatibilities.

I probably should have stayed with Girlfriend 1.0, but I thought I might see better performance from GirlFriend 2.0. After months of conflicts and other problems, I consulted a friend who has had experience with Girlfriend 2.0. He said I probably didn't have enough cache to run Girlfriend 2.0 and eventually it would require a Token Ring to run properly. He was right, as soon as I purged my cache, and realized that no one in their right mind is installing new token rings, Girlfriend 2.0 uninstalled itself.

Shortly after that, I installed Girlfriend 3.0 beta. Unfortunately, there was a bug in the program and the first time I used it, it gave me a virus. I had to clean out my whole system and shut down for a while. I very cautiously upgraded to Girlfriend 4.0. This time I used SCSI probe first and also installed a virus protection program. It worked okay for a while until I discovered that GirlFriend 1.0 was still in my system. I tried running Girlfriend 1.0 again with Girlfriend 4.0 still installed, but Girlfriend 4.0 has a feature I didn't know about that automatically senses the presence of any other version of Girlfriend and communicates with it in some way. This results in the immediate removal of both versions.

The version I have now works pretty well, but there are still some problems. Like all versions of GirlFriend, it is written in some obscure language I can't understand, much less reprogram. Frankly, I think there is too much attention paid to the look and feel rather than the desired functionality.

Also, to get the best connections with your hardware, you usually have to use gold-plated contacts and I have never liked how GirlFriend is “object-oriented.”

A year ago a friend of mine upgraded his version of Girlfriend to GirlFriendPlus 1.0, which is a Terminate and Stay Resident version of GirlFriend. He discovered that GirlFriendPlus 1.0 expires within a year if you don't upgrade to Fiance 1.0. So he did, but soon after that, he had to upgrade to Wife 1.0, which he describes as a huge resource hog. It has taken up all his space: He can't load anything else. One of the primary reasons he decided to go with Wife 1.0 was because it supposedly came bundled with a feature called FreeSex Plus.

Well, it turns out the resource requirements of Wife 1.0 sometimes prohibits access to FreeSexPlus, particularly the new Plug-ins he wanted to try. On top of that, Wife 1.0 must be running on a well warmed-up system before he can do anything. Although he did not ask for it, Wife 1.0 came with MotherInLaw which has an automatic pop-up feature he can't turn off. I told him to trying installing Mistress 1.0, but he said he heard if you try to run it without first uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before uninstalling itself. Then Mistress 1.0 won't install because of insufficient resources.

P.S. Watch out for the K-I-D-S virus because they have an insatiable appetite for memory and CPU time over and above everything else.

I knew he was making a mistake so I gave him a little advice.

What you should have downloaded was the Plainjane variant of Girlfriend. It's default setting of Desperate is compatable with any program. Part of this program is the automatic Cooking and Housekeeping functions.

For example. When run with the Drinking Buddies program it automatically switches to Happy Hostess mode. After you exit the Drinking Buddies program it reverts back to Housekeeping mode.

Also an additional advantage of this program is that you can run FreeSexPlus anytime with no worry of Headache popups. It has limited sounds and dialogue when you run these programs simultaniously. These are randomized with no adjustment buttons. Some of what you will hear include various oo's and aa's of varying pitches, and short phrases such as, yes, more, and oh god.

If you decide to run this program with Token Ring, it doesn't need the gold plated contacts to run properly. I recommend the Wal-M-A-R-T version of Token Ring. It turns on the Adoring function and the Anything To Please mode. Some have even been known to activate with the Crackerjack Surprize Freeware, although I wouldn't recomend downloading it. It seems to have been written pretty badly, and none of the patches seem to make it better. No sense screwing up such a good program as PlainJane when the Wal-M-A-R-T version is so inexpensive and functions so well.

If you decide to upgrade PlainJane to Wife 1.0, new functions are added. These include, KissTheGroundYouWalkOn, BreakfastInBed, and a variety of others.

There is nothing to worry about if you are infected with the K-I-D-S virus. The PlainJane program will neutralize it and will incorporate it into its own program as sub-routines of its own functions without causing you to be distracted in any way. It will also run a firewall around the MSMoney files that only you will have access to.

All in all it is probably the best program you will ever install. I give it Five Stars.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife...so from my personal point of view, get an ugly girl to marry you..

(& if I could have found ALL the lyrics, I'da posted 'em! I'm humming more than I'm singing since I haven't heard it in some time...LOL)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If You Wanna Be Happy

Jimmy Soul

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life

Never make a pretty woman your wife

So for my personal point of view

Get an ugly girl to marry you

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life

Never make a pretty woman your wife

So for my personal point of view

Get an ugly girl to marry you

A pretty woman makes her husband look small

And very often causes his downfall

As soon as he married her and then she starts

To do the things that will break his heart

But if you make an ugly woman your wife

A-you'll be happy for the rest of your life

An ug-a-ly woman cooks meals on time

And she'll always give you peace of mind

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life

Never make a pretty woman your wife

So for my personal point of view

Get an ugly girl to marry you

Sax solo

Don't let your friends say you have no taste

Go ahead and marry anyway

Though her face is ugly, her eyes don't match

Take it from me, she's a better catch

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life

Never make a pretty woman your wife

So for my personal point of view

Get an ugly girl to marry you

Spoken:

Say man!

Hey baby!

I saw your wife the other day!

Yeah?

Yeah, an' she's ug-leeee!

Yeah, she's ugly, but she sure can cook, baby!

Yeah, alright!

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life

Never make a pretty woman your wife

So for my personal point of view

Get an ugly girl to marry you

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life

Never make a pretty woman your wife

So for my personal point of view

Get an ugly girl to marry you

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life

Never make a pretty woman your wife

So for my personal point of view

Get an ugly girl to marry you

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life

Never make a pretty woman your wife

So for my personal point of view

Get an ugly girl to marry you

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.