Jump to content

Greetings from Cancerland (Ugh!)


BridgetO

Recommended Posts

Hi All, I feel like I'm awash in cancer. It's not mine and it's not lung cancer, but this isn't good news. First, and closest to me, my wife, who had treatment for breast cancer about 3 years ago is facing a possible recurrence. A suspicious finding in a mammogram  led to a repeat mammogram, 2 ultrasounds and yesterday a biopsy. The doctors say it's very suspicious for malignancy but she won't know for sure until she gets biopsy results. In the meantime, we're going on a trip to New York City that's been repeatedly postponed, once because of the pandemic and more recently because she tested positive for COVID the day before we were to leave. I think this trip will help us both through waiting for biopsy results.

Second, one of my closest friends told me yesterday that she has just entered into hospice. She has soft tissue sarcomas which are spreading despite numerous surgeries and she's opted for comfort care rather than surgeries more radical and disabling than those she's already had.

Third, another of my closest and long time friends has had  for many years polycythemia vera, a rare blood cancer that causes overproduction of red blood cells. She's been treated for this for about 20 years, but now it's morphed into myelofibrosis, the bone marrow having been damaged by the PV to where it can't produce enough red or other blood cells. Her symptoms,  both of the illness and the treatment, which used to be pretty tolerable, have become painful, scary and depressing. She's not coping well, but who would be?

So, I feel like I'm surrounded by this wretched disease, even though I'm NED.

Good thoughts, prayers, mantras, crossed fingers, peaceful vibes or anything else positive would be appreciated. 

Bridget O

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh my - that is rough, Bridget. Sending positive vibes to you, your wife and your friends over the Atlantic. Do try to enjoy your trip to NYC! X

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So sorry to hear Bridget, that is tough. I can relate, it has been such a miserable couple of years for me losing dear loved ones and worrying about other diagnosed all while dealing with my own LC shock. We have lost my grandfather, uncle, uncle's wife, and my husband's uncle to COVID. My husband was diagnosed with skin cancer (but got surgery and is supposedly cured). My young brother in law had sudden cardiac arrest and only survived by a miracle  (but survived and with no brain damage). Life is just so weird,  feels to me like it has been going down hill since reaching age 45 but we are still alive and kicking and Spring is in the air! I feel so much better when I garden, I lose myself with the hummingbirds buzzing around dangling from my flowers. Hopefully your wife will beat the cancer again and your friends will be able manage their ordeals in best possible ways with you supporting them. Take care.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you Rikke, Pstar, Tom and Lily for the kind words and good thoughts. The latest wrinkle is that I didn't go to New York as we had planned. Our cat got sick and needed care on an emergency basis the day before we were to leave. We had a reliable house and pet sitter lined up, but couldn't expect him to care for a vomiting kitty. Wife went ahead to New York. I insisted she go because she needed the distraction and because I didn't want to AGAIN disappoint our friend who has been looking forward to our visit. (Last postponement was the day before were to arrive- wife had covid). No diagnosis yet on kitty, who can't keep food down. Today she's in for x-rays. Bleah!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think a sick kitty would always be the final straw. Mine is my little soldier who is the only one I want around when I am feeling unwell. Hope she is ok - cats do tend to go through rounds of spewing, so hopefully no big thing. X

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Update from cancerland. My wife's breast biopsy showed cancer. She had a PET scan Friday, no results yet. She meets with the surgeon tomorrow, expects to be scheduled for mastectomy. 

Yet another one in cancerland:   I just learned that a guy I used to work with, who I had heard nothing of or from in a couple of months has prostate cancer metastatic to bone. I dropped in to see him at a long term care place.  He told me on the phone that he couldn't stand the food there--his only complaint!-- and asked if I could make and bring him some Hamburger Helper, which I did, although it was not something I would ordinarily fix. While I was there the staff brought him his dinner and he told them to take it away, he was going to eat what I brought in the sack. They wanted to see what was in the sack to see if it was OK  for him to have, and he refused to show them. They weren't happy but did give him a fork and napkin. When I saw my friend I was glad I had brought something he would eat (and also some salt and pepper he asked for) even if it  almost certainly wasn't on the approved list. He was always a thin man and now he is emaciated. 

BTW- some good news, my kitty is now fine!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That is rough, Bridget. So sorry to hear about your wife. Although breast cancer prognosis is of course excellent, a mastectomy is no joke. Good that you have each other. 
 

I have no idea what hamburger helper is (although I can imagine and it sounds a bit yuck) - but whatever gets you through is great in my book!

yay for kitty - the little blighters are the best cancer care as far as I am concerned. X

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sorry to hear that it is confirmed cancer for your wife Bridget. I pray that her mastectomy will go well. You are a good friend to bring the hamburger helper to your co worker. I guess sometimes you just get that craving for a certain thing. Glad that your kitty is fine now. They certainly are a great comfort to us.

Pam

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Rikke, Hamburger Helper is a box of stuff (dry noodles, usually, and some dry sauce mix. )You saute and break up a pound of hamburger meat ("mince" I think you call it over there)  drain off the fat , add water, milk, or whatever else it tells you on the box, and cook it until the noodles or whatever are done. It comes in various flavors-- my friend requested Stroganoff, and also asked me not to drain the fat (!).  Some  people like it. Not me, for sure!.  It's a classic American family fast dinner. 

 Thanks Pam and Rikke for the kind words and prayers.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you for the explanation - made me laugh! Sounds truly awful, but I definitely am not one to talk as my go-to comfort food is a big Mac! 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

Update  from cancerland. My wife had a mastectomy yesterday. She was discharged to home just a few hours after her surgery. So now I'm in the caregiver role full time. Yesterday was difficult, both for her and me. Neither of us got much sleep the night before, since we had to be at the hospital at 5:15 AM. We didn't know whether she was going to be released same day or not, so had to prepare for both situations and were up late.

When she was discharged, she was woozy and wobbly on her feet. I wasn't sure if I could help her up our front steps without us both ending up in a heap (my balance is none too good), so I called some friends for assistance and we all got in safely. She got less wobbly as the afternoon went on, but she was throwing up all day, despite anti-nausea meds.  Fortunately the hospital gave us a supply of barf bags.  By bedtime I was toast.

We both slept well and today is much better. No nausea, pain relieved by tylenol and ice. I'm being a more relaxed nurse. Friends are signed up to bring us food for the next several days, which is wonderful. Got homemade bread yesterday and the same lovely folks who helped me get my "patient" into the house yesterday are bringing ice cream today, because it's my birthday --78!  Things are looking up.

Bridget O

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Bridget,

Never a dull moment, eh? I'm so glad your wife and you made it through those awful hours  after she was discharged. I'm also glad your kitty is celebrating with you. And, I'm in favor of ice cream every day. Happy belated birthday. Here's hoping things ease up for you!

Karen

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks to all for the good wishes! My wife is recovering well. She's up and about, taking short walks every day, and feeling much better since her drains were taken out yesterday. We had over a week of friends bringing us dinners. We had originally set up a Meal Train for two weeks, but told folks we were fine without it was great not having to cook much when I had more caregiving tasks. The food was both delicious and healthy and we still have some leftovers in the freezer.  I'm grateful for all the support, both here at home and on this forum.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.