Ry Posted March 18, 2004 Share Posted March 18, 2004 Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything." A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here." A dyslexic man walks into a bra. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road." Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was great. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?" "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home." "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." "Is it common?" "It's not unusual." Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..." A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down." "What, just because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy." I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any. I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him $50 that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, 'no, the steaks are too high.' I went to a seafood disco rave last week... and pulled a mussel. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted March 18, 2004 Share Posted March 18, 2004 Ry I'm just not sure if there jokes are evidence that you are feeling better or worse--lol. Elaine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted March 18, 2004 Author Share Posted March 18, 2004 Must be feeling better I made it to work today for the first time in a long time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest survivor Posted March 18, 2004 Share Posted March 18, 2004 The next doctor you should see should be a shrink. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted March 19, 2004 Author Share Posted March 19, 2004 You keep that up survivor and your surviving days will be numbered. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David A Posted March 19, 2004 Share Posted March 19, 2004 beating up on survivor might be senior citzen abuse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted March 19, 2004 Author Share Posted March 19, 2004 So call 1 800 4 an old fart Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David A Posted March 19, 2004 Share Posted March 19, 2004 looks like the right number Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest survivor Posted March 19, 2004 Share Posted March 19, 2004 My wife says I am the inventor of the 12 second, 4 octave fart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David A Posted March 19, 2004 Share Posted March 19, 2004 and lets not forget you are an old FART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted March 19, 2004 Share Posted March 19, 2004 Ry, I love silly jokes. A POEM A burp is a sigh That comes from the heart But when it goes south They call if a fart. Author Unknown Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhutch1366 Posted March 19, 2004 Share Posted March 19, 2004 ROFLMAO.... too much,y'all, too much.... .!! XOXOXOXOX MaryAnn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MO_Sugar Posted March 19, 2004 Share Posted March 19, 2004 I needed these today! Thanks!! MO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted March 19, 2004 Share Posted March 19, 2004 Too funny........... Peg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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