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During my lifetime I always wondered what would happen if I was diagnosed with some life threatening illness. I pictured myself visiting rest homes, slowing down, being kind to strangers and patient with my family.

WRONG!! I have done none of the above. SO much for some sort of life changing moment. Driving to work if someone is moving too slow for me, I still fantasize about running them off the road and am probably the only one in Oklahoma that uses NY hand gestures. I have no time to be patient to either strangers OR my family. I am still me with all the faults I had before I knew I had lung cancer. :roll:

But, there are little things that I am doing now. I opened up a savings account last week because I want to save money (a new concept for me, it usually is only there for me to spend). Also, I happened to notice the other day that every dress, blouse or skirt I own is either black or shades of grey and had never even noticed it. I just went through life buying black things; I AM Morticia Adams in the flesh :shock: . So I went out to the store and bought a YELLOW dress. I had to forcibly remove myself more than once from black and grey dresses, but I did it!!

I guess my realization is that we go through life doing the same thing over and over and never think of changing what we are doing because that is the way it always has been and we don't question it. I cannot believe that all my clothes are black...and that I never saw it!!

I think that to change the big things in your life, you have to start small...

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Good for you okdebi!

I think for me, I have a mixture of feelings--on one hand, I want life to be perfectly normal, and by normal, I mean before cancer. For me, that means all the things I used to do, the faults I used to have, and on and on.

On the other hand, I have realized that life truly is too short, no matter how long it is, to sweat the small stuff. I remember last summer in the midst of all this diagnosis tension and stress, our garage door spring broke. We had a repair person come fix it, but that night, my husband went to put the door down and it actually fell off its track and was hanging there, half on and half off. He was really upset, and normally I would have been too, but for some reason, I found this whole situation hysterical and laughed till I cried. It was only a garage door, for heaven's sake!!!

I don't know--I don't have any answers, but I can understand how you feel. Maybe the secret is baby steps.

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I think I liked it better when you just lurked! :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

Just kidding of course, I am SO glad that you are posting these days!!!

And thanks for the highway idea, it actually sounds like fun!! :lol::shock:

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Ry, as long as your son doesn't drive the getaway car, we will be all right. :P

And Ginny lets not go overboard, okay??? You keep the red hat for yourself and ride shotgun!!

I swear, I get absolutely no respect here.... :lol::lol::lol::lol:

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Debi---for about 3 months (right before and after my lobectomy)I was so nice, I could have qualified for sainthood-,--That faded fast ----and I have the same faults back

A yellow dress---how great!!!!! and a savings account---a novel idea for me too----

have a great day

best wishes

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Debi, I had to chuckle when you said you were going from blacks and grays to colors in your wardrobe. Lucie has done the same thing. She used to wear just black, navy blue, occasional beige. Now she has a wardrobe the colors of the rainbow, and I love it. She marks things in the catalogs and I order them over the Internet. It is exciting getting the things in the mail, having her try them on, us "oohing and aaahing" together. She looks fabulous. And I bet you do, too. Don

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Can I come on that trip with you and Debi and DavidA? I'll bring a case or two of ammo....

Funny, Debi...my big wardrobe splurge was a "little black dress"! (BUT, to be honest, I wanted the RED ONE, it was just out of stock....)

So, now, I'm taking baby steps to be who I want to become, kinda tossing together the "perfect obituary" and using it as a recipe for life. For example, I read an obituary of an older man that listed the usual, kids, retirement, wife...THEN went on about him being an avid nature lover, traveler, adventurer, etc. I'm gonna list all those etceteras and LIVE 'EM! I want mine to read that I was loved by my family and friends, always had a joke or smile or a hug when needed, enjoyed the feel of sunshine and spring rain on my face, warm sand between my toes and a passion for living. Maybe I'll never become a sought after keynote speaker or famous author, but I WILL be someone's mother, someone's wife and a friend to many...even if I DO need a certain finger to drive in traffic, am rude to telemarketers and put off grocery shopping until the fridge is bare... Heck, I'm not aiming for sainthood, imperfections are okay, ya know?

Hang in there, girl! I ain't a buyin' yeller, but I WILL go for an electric blue or even hot pink... :roll: Tie-dyed works for me! (I have a wedding to go to in the future, wonder if I can get a tie-dyed little bitty silk dress to wear??)


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Wait for me!!! I'm coming too.... Michigan or bust......

Heck, every crew needs a sidekick or straightman.

That's me. With my loss of short term memory, I laugh at the same jokes over and over and over....

I'm feeling WELL, and want to get into trouble tping whosis house late on a school night. (feeling truly wicked)

So, hold up, I'm coming..!!!

(been living alone with an 8 year old TOO LONG...)

Isn't this the time of year to celebrate Bacchus or Dionysus??



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ANY day is a day to celebrate dinosaurs...or whatever you wrote... :wink:

Bacchus is that lecherous, drunken festival, isn't it? Count me in on the lechery!! (or tame it down to just TP...break me out of the cabin! LOL)

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OKDeb, You can stop by Missouri and pick me up on your way to MI. We have cases of TP here at work and I am SURE they wouldn't miss one or two 8) !! I have also noticed that I have a lot of black, gray and navy in my wardrobe and am making great strides to change that for spring :D ! I just got a refund check from my DOCTOR and I am going to spend it on a new, spring outfit!!

God Bless,


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Guest bucky

:) Same thing happend to me...I was reeding that people change the way they were. I try, but I was still beeing me, and I can not change. The only difference is I thank everysingle day that I am alive, that I can still faighting, :D ,doing thingswith my chilodren & husband & having a lot of fun with my1st granchild. Oh well in way i can say i change yesssss, I used to be size 0, now I am 8 :x , but I still here so who cares. I wish i can be like you and save. I try butnumbers & me..... I still were black, but now I bought bige for a change.

Life is a wonderfull mistery, and I hope that all of us stay here for a long, long time.


49 years old

Stage IB DX 1-03

Surgry 2-03

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