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I have learned to Never Give Up


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I am thankful everyday since my mom's diagnosis that I found this board. I have learned so much. The strongest message I've gotten from reading other stories of survivors that the link everyone here shares is never give up, question doctors, how to find good ones and how to fire them. Today, I truly believe having been at this site and the knowledge I've gotten here has saved mom's life through a hurdle.

I couldn't stop my Mom from going on with her wedding plans even after her diagnosis. April 12, we had a wedding and they went to the Mountains for a honeymoom. When Mom returned, she wasn't right. I became concerned Saturday night a week ago of the medicine he was dispensing to my Mom. I told Mom to not take anything else that he gave her. Trouble was, she was too sick to know what she was taking. The man looked me right in the face and lied to me. He told me that he didn't give her anything. I counted pills, made a list of all of her scripts and began investigating, well, really taking more control of her life. I told her on the following Tuesday that "she was my daughter now, suck it up - I've only got one Mom and she's only got one child!" I was with her with her all day Tuesday and I was scared to death. Mom seemed so "high" and wasn't urinating. She fell in the floor and I called 911, we took her to the hospital in the ambulance. After hours in the ER about 2:00 am (Wed) They said that she had pneumonia, a staff infection in her blood, and decreased kidney function. At 4am, they were giving her IV antibiotics, she was stable and they were waiting for a private room to become available. I was able to explain to Mom what they said was wrong and she was O.K., I left the hospital at 4:00 am and returned at 10:00 am to a Mother Intubated, unconcious and in kidney failure. I was greeted by the new husband who explained that he hadn't talked to any doctors, however; had called their offices and they would be coming. Trying to be considerate of the new husband that Mom couldn't stand not marrying, I waited patiently. At 2:00, I had had enough. I called her Doctor's office and demanded that someone start answering questions. I left my mother a few hours earlier and returned to her in this state, I've been patient, however; I haven't slept in two days and had very little paitence left. I apparently got their attention. The pulmonologist, the oconologist, neuphrologist and the patient representative from Hospital Admin. were all coming to visit within 30 minutes. After I had left at 4am Mom went into respitory distress, turns out they had called the new husband who was unavailable and did not try to reach me even though I know that I am listed on the hospital records, left my phone number and cell number with the ER. They believe that the second chemo combined with sleep apnea and medications that she had been taking caused her kidney's to go into shock. They wanted to know what meds she had been taking and I gave them my list. Wednesday and Thursday they worked very hard to stablize her and force fluids through IV to put pressure on the kidney's to regain their function. I have learned to anytime someone is intubated, the pulmonologist is the leader among the MD group. I sure was glad to see Dr. Bonnie Boles. The same Bonnie Boles that shared home room with me all through High School and voted "most intellectual" in our senior class. A past acquantance was now my angel. My greatest concern was being able to get her off the machine. Bonnie said that even if we had to get the nephruologist to do dialysis, she felt she could get her off the machine. On Saturday morning, I tried to go to my son's baseball game, however; spent the entire time in the bathroom on the phone. The nephruologist and the husband had decided that dialysis wasn't going to help mom. They told me that she would never be concious again and it wouldn't improve her situation. I was told that we were in "multi-organ shut down". I asked him if Mom would make it until Monday if we didn't do anything. He said that she would. I spent the rest of the weekend thinking to myself, "O.K., what changed since Friday that all of a sudden changed these doctor's minds?" I literally have checked out of my own life since last Tuesday and checked into nothing but Moms. Nothing changed, except the Doctor's had given up. I truly believe that once you have been dx with cancer, god help you if anything else happens. Some of their attitudes are that you only have a short time, what the use anyway. This is exactly what was happening. I kept thing about this board and that ya'll have told me over and over, to never give up and no one knows how long she has. If I let her kidney's take her out, I'll never know if she could survive the cancer. I couldn't deny her that chance. On Monday, my new angel appeared (Dr. Boles). I told her we had to try something I wasn't willing to give up yet. At this point, My mom is twice the size of the woman I brought here last Tuesday because of all of the fluids she had received through IV and her kidney's just can't catch up. I want to try the dialysis. The kidneys are driving this bus and they need help. Without getting rid of the fluid we will never be able to get her un-sedated or off that machine. I told Dr. Boles that Mom had some unfinished business and I was concerned about the new husband. Wheter intentionally or unintentionally, the meds dispensed were a large contributor to her present status. Dr. Boles said, "I'm waking her up". Within 30 minutes the nephruologist returned ordering a vat cath and at 5:30 yesterday, Dialysis began. Mom handled dialysis well and was dialysized again today - she looks so much better. Dr. Boles changed here sedatives to something less sedative. Today mom is responding slightly and the Dr. Boles said she is cautiously optomistic. We're not where we need to be by a long shot, however; were not talking about turning the machine off either. I have assembled my own Ya-Ya Sisterhood and if Mom gets to come home we are prepared to handle the intervention.

Thank God, I found you all and learned to never give up!!!

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