My husband was diagnosed July 4, 2003 with stage 4 lc w/mets

[Guest Mich]

My husband Dave was diagnosed w/stage 4 lung cancer July 4, 2003 w/mets to brain and liver. Its in both lungs. He had 3 wks.of radiation on brain-now clean. Both lungs still growing. We're on 3rd chemo drug (gemzar) weekly. He had 3 back surgeries prior to this so he was already uncomfortable before cancer diagnosis. Now his life consists of sitting all day on a recliner and laying in bed. The side effects of chemo are destroying him. There is no quality of life. I wonder at times is it worth being treated? If he hadnt started treatment, he would still be feeling good for the most part. He's lost 9 months of "quality time" with our 3 kids. Will we get it back? This is so frustrating! Just looking to meet others and see how you all are coping with this. Just introducing myself---first time----God Bless! Michele (Mom of 3--ages 19, 17 and 7).

[Donna G]

Hi Michelle. I wish I had a perfect answer for you. With kids that young I can really understand wanting to try for the cure. Tumors do leave scar tissue, you say it is much smaller? Many with stage IV do get remission. You say he sits in a chair all day? Most of us have had some depression under the stress of this disease. Could he? Has he been on any antidepressents? I hope you join us and keep us posted about Dave. It sure helps to have somewhere to go to "talk" and believe me we understand for we've been there. Welcome Michelle. Donna G

[Don Wood]

Hi, Michele and welcome to the board. Sorry to hear about your hubby. My wife sits and sleeps in her recliner because of damage to the spine by the cancer. She is okay right now, but is still on some morphine. She is beginning to do things, but does not have the stamina she had prior to cancer. We live one day at a time. Good luck to you both. Don

[karenl]

Hi Michele

Sorry to hear that you are having a rough time. I see that your husband has been a survivor for almost a year now, which is something to feel positive about. I know the treatment is hard, but if you read through the signatures of some of the members here, you will see that many had to try several different types of chemo before finding one that worked for them. I hope that Gemzar does the trick for your husband. Have you checked out the other forums on the board - you will find lots of information about things you can do which may help to alleviate the side-effects of chemo (particularly on the alternative and complimentary treatments forum). It is devastating to receive a diagnosis like this, so as Donna says, perhaps there is an element of depression that needs to be addressed, either through counselling or medication (if you have not already been down that track - I know you've been dealing with this for several months now!).

Anyway, welcome, and I wish your family all the best.

Karen

[shirleyb]

Mich,

I am glad you came here for support. This is one place that has been blessed with so many good people.

I know when my sweetie was dx'd, one of the first things I got for him was a massage chair to help with the pain he was in. It helped give him so much relief from the aches and pains and the effects from chemo. It really was a blessing for him.

Randy was diagnosed the same time as your Dave. Randy loved his chair though. It helped his spirit when he felt the relief he got in the chair since he couldn't do much more. He didn't have any energy to move around but the chair helped him to feel better and it helped with the pain and the depression.

My heart goes out to you and your kids. Those of us here know the path you are on and will walk the walk with you and yours.

You are in my prayers.

Shirleyb

[SharKats]

Hello Michele,

I'm so very sorry to hear about your husband. I am sorry you had to find this Message Board but you will be glad you did.

My heart goes out to you and your family.

God bless you and yours.

[Guest Mich]

Hi all! Thank you for responding. Dave had 50% shrinkage during the first 6 months of treatment on carboplatin/taxol. Then it stopped working. The last 2 ctscans showed it's growing back in lungs--so far about 20%. After treatment yesterday, he is now beginning to have trouble occasionally catching his breath. This is really scaring me! I'm not good with this as I suffer from panic disorder and tend to copy symptoms. (Not a good thing). A friend of mine that I work with told me he went to the Mayo Clinic for stomach cancer and is a survivor. He swears by that place. I notice some of you live near there. Have you been treated there? Does anyone recommend going there more than any place else? Or should we just keep with the doctors here in New Jersey and hope they're doing the right thing? I just dont know what to do anymore. Getting scared and want to be sure we do everything we can to try to give him "a chance." Dave has been on paxil for a while now but it doesnt seem to help much. He went to a psychiatrist 1x but is not interested in going back. Dave's chair also has a vibrator and heater in it. He sits in it at least 10 hrs. a day. I was frustrated about that in the beginning until I realized how bad he was and how comfortable he is in that chair. Now I regret the anger. I hate to see him like this. It is so very hard. I feel so helpless! Thank you so much for your kind words and I hope to continue staying in touch with you. God Bless! Michele