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I think I've heard them all


Lisa O

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A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there.

The lawyer replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire insurance proceeds. What are you doing here?"

The doctor replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds."

The lawyer looked puzzled. "Gee," he asked, "how do you start a flood?"

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Lawyers don’t tan, they just appeal.

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Why don’t you ever see lawyers at the beach?

The cats keep covering them up with sand.

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Why should lawyers wear lots of sunscreen when vacationing at a beach resort?

Because they’re used to doing all of their lying indoors.

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A lawyer went on vacation to a western dude ranch. Awed by the scenery, she went for a twilight stroll among the cattle. Suddenly, she stepped in something soft.

“Honey!” she shouted to her husband. “I’m melting!”

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After years of hard work, Joe took his first vacation on a luxury cruise ship. In a deck chair, he recognized a former high school classmate, a long-lost friend from his old hometown.

He crossed the deck, seized the fellow’s hand and said: “Hello, Pete. I haven’t seen you in years. What are you doing these days?”

“I’m practicing law,” whispered Pete. “But don’t tell mother. She thinks I’m still a pimp.”

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