Geri Posted April 15, 2004 Share Posted April 15, 2004 I've been clear now for about 2 years but am still in the limbo area, no signs at the moment but a ways to go before I'm home free. Am I alone in feeling the possibility of a re-occurence sitting on my shoulder all the time? Everyone around me is positive that it's gone (it's never even discussed), I, however, get this nagging thought that it's hiding away in a corner of my brain waiting for me to get complacent. I think this must be normal but don't know any sclc people around here to ask. I guess it's because I chose to forgo the full brain radiation - which was offered "in case"! - and now I wonder. Does anyone else have these thoughts? Geri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted April 16, 2004 Share Posted April 16, 2004 I think that once a person has cancer, they are never completely free of the thought that it may return. It is something we learn to live with and get on with life. I hope you can do the same. Good luck. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MO_Sugar Posted April 16, 2004 Share Posted April 16, 2004 I agree with Don. Once we have accepted the cancer dx we will always have that nagging thought in the back of the brain. The trick is to live the BEST life we can trying to keep that IN THE BACK of the mind. Yes, sclc has a very good chance of coming back BUT if you have been clear for 2 years you are doing WONDERFUL!! I would praise God (as I do every day) and thank him for giving me that much more time. You are beating the he** out of "The statistics" so HE isn't done with YOU yet either! Prayers for continued NED being sent your way!! God Bless, MO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chloesmom Posted April 16, 2004 Share Posted April 16, 2004 I don't think of us cancer survivors as any different than anyone else because no one really knows how much time they have left. After all, anyone can get hit by the truck or is just one chest x-ray away from the problems we've had, right? That said, I know what you mean about it always lurking around in your mind. Even on my best days, it's there. I say it's like walking around with an anvil over my head. I have heard it gets better and doesn't enter your thoughts nearly as often as time goes on, but I don't have first hand knowledge of that yet. That is good advice from Mo though--enjoy every day of your life! Saw my therapist today, and she said all the same things--I expressed a nervous time when test time rolls around and she said, "Why--you're doing all you can do to stay healthy with eating right, exercise, and sleeping enough, the rest is up to your doctors and God." I know she's right. It's not so easy to actually practice that belief but I know she's right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geri Posted April 16, 2004 Author Share Posted April 16, 2004 thanks everyone for saying what I knew to be the case. I know I have so much to be thankful for, and I am, I'm just looking forward to the day when these thoughts are further back in my head. Obviously my number isn't up yet and there's more for me to do first - just having a bad day today I guess and I feel better for whining, thanks for listening. I'm usually much more upbeat and positive about it all, black humor got me through all the garbage 2 years ago and tomorrow this too will have a funny side! Geri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa O Posted April 25, 2004 Share Posted April 25, 2004 Geri, We understand. Don't be so hard on yourself. It is perfectly normal to look over your shoulder after what you have been through. Just remember to keep looking forward too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted April 26, 2004 Share Posted April 26, 2004 Geri, I view my experience and the possibilities as Winnie the Pooh's little black rain cloud...and other days, it's the monster under the bed or his cousin, the monster in the closet... My morbid thought is that I won't know if the cancer is going to kill me until I'm dead - and like I'll really care THEN! I guess it all circles back to where everyone was prior to cancer. Deep down, we all know we're going to die some day, just not how or when...if we could all just get out of the mode of wanting to know (as if it will change anything) the end before we get through the middle... I hear where you're coming from, walk down that path myself... Here's hoping someday we BOTH have more sense then to dwell on the "what ifs" and apply that energy to the here and now. Take care, Becky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie B Posted April 27, 2004 Share Posted April 27, 2004 Welcome Geri, Congratulation on being a TWO YEAR Lung Cancer Survivor! GOOD FOR YOU! YOU GO GIRL! News Flash: With or WITHOUT cancer we're going to die. NO DOUBT ABOUT IT! So, do you worry about other ways you may or may not die, or other diseases you may or may not get??? Just a little food for thought. But, your in the normal range of worring about the beast coming back or not. So, if it comes back what are you going to do then? If it doesn't come back, then what are you going to do??? My line it: You can't worry about what you don't KNOW! YOUR A SURVIVOR! Live life today as if it's your last day, because that's all any of us has! HAPPY TWO YEARS!! Oh by the way..... I know a LOT of SCLC SURVIVORS of 4, 5, 8, 15 years and they are all still here and doing just fine! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted April 27, 2004 Share Posted April 27, 2004 Geri, I haven't had to face this kind of fear for myself and I hope I never do, but I may have to face it for my husb. In any case, I can't offer advice like the others, but I can say this: Three cheers for Connie: Hip Hip Hooray! Hip Hip Hooray! Hip Hip Hooray! That was mighty fine writin' Ms. Connie. Well said! I copied it and pasted it into a trusy Word document and I am going to keep that forever and ever very close to my heart. What a GREAT way to look at life! With that kind of spirit, I might just decide to live forever myself!!!! Not only that, but I will vow to never worry again! (Yeah right!!) Seriously, Connie, you gave Geri some good advice, as well as myself, and many many others (1050 + Mr. Ramirez if he's lurking)! Love, Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 1, 2004 Share Posted August 1, 2004 Hi I am robin and I agree. I have had a secondary bone from the lung and another primary in the breast. But the doctors say I have done amazingly well to survive lung cancer for so long. It has been 15yrs from the primary lung, 10 from the secondary lung and 7 from the primary breast. 3 from another suspected one from the primary in the lung. I think we all have that feeling, that it may be sneeking around. I think about it everyday for a few moments, then try to get on with it. I hope it gives you some hope that even though I have this feeling and the doctors always say they can never say it has gone completely, that I am still here and taking it day by day. God Bless and watch over you, sincerely Robin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karen335 Posted August 2, 2004 Share Posted August 2, 2004 Hi Robin, Thanks for posting about your survivorship. You are an inspiartion to all of us. WE would love for you to post your story about the type of LC, stage, surgery, radiation and chemo. We would love to read more and would like for you to visit and post here often. This is great news and you are a long time "SURVIVOR". Prayers for continued cure and survivorship. Thank You! Thank You! Look forward to your posts... God Bless and prayers, Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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