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Bonhoffer


kimblanchard

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As I was working on the memorial service, I came across this quote from Deitrich Bonhoffer that I thought was especially appropriate:

Nothing can make up for the absence of someone whom we love, and it would be wrong to try to find a substitute; we must simply hold out and see it through. That sounds very hard at first, but at the same time it is a great consolation, for the gap, as long as it remains unfilled, preserves the bonds between us. It is nonsense to say that God fills the gap; God doesn't fill it, but on the contrary, keeps it empty and so helps us to keep alive our former communion with each other, even at the cost of pain.

As I was reading some of the posts today, it brought that to mind.

Curtis

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Curtis, wow, thank you so much for sharing that message. It is such an intangible thing to try and bring to words how it feels to loose a loved one, but that quote brings words to the emotions and allows them to be heard and acknowledged. Thank you Curts. Take care of yourself and that little girl, hold tight to one another-Love Deb

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Deitrich Bonhoffer was a religious scholar in the early part of the twentieth century; Lutheran I believe but am not sure. He was executed in the concentration camps for plotting an assassination of Hitler. My European history teacher in high school gave me a copy of The Cost of Discipleship as a graduation present, and it is probably the single most influential book I have ever read. So I while I would like to take credit for the quote, I can only take credit for having seen it before and it really speaking to me.

Curtis

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Whenever someone dies of cancer, any type of cancer, it usually means that person is passing before their time. The surviving family members become very special people because, many times, the husband, or wife, is uusually left with a family to maintain and love, special love that is usually spread over two people, but now falls on the shoulders of one.

Curtis, you are but one of many, and this is always unfortunate. When you marry, at a young age, you should expect that you will live out your life with that person. You will share many things throughout this relationship, but, most importantly, you will share love. When this expectation of a long life together, is cut short because of the early death of one, it becomes special because now the survivor must step in and raise children in the name of both mother and father. For a young child, this, indeed, can be, and will be scary. The younger the child, the less understanding there is. All that they know is that mama or papa is gone and they will never see that person again. In this situation , I have always asked, "Just who has the greater courage?"

Also, Curtis, for those of us who continue to live as survivors of lung cancer, we always hurt when we lose another. But the hurt is always worse, when the one we lose is so young, as Becky was. Cancer is so unfair and I always ask, "why not me?" We will never know the answer to that question.

I hope you will continue to be a part of our community. You have much to offer.

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