berisa Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 Last Saturday the home leave day, my dad was too drowsy and slept all the time that he forgot he had been back home. Now he always sleeps and we do have trouble to get him eat as his ability of swallow is deteriating and he cannot drink water as this is not thick enough that he chokes always. Reflex specialist thinks he still has room to improve the movement of his left muscle. But nurses and doctors suggest him using feeding tube for avoiding pnuemonia. Today antibiotics are stopped and will observe whether he will have fever. Actually on 4/14, the culture test result was from "Heavy growth" to "Moderate" (MRSA infection culture). I just wonder why they do not continue the antibiotics. Tonight one amazing thing happened, I went to a clinic for checking my blood for preparing getting preventive liver problem injection, my brother called me while I was seeing the doctor, the doctor listened to the conversation between us, after hang up the phone, the doctor asked me who is the one who is going to have CT scan, then I told him about my dad. He then asked me which hospital my dad is staying, then I told him XX hospital and he asked me did my dad had mental delusions that we family member are all killed during stay in hospital, I then said yes.........ha, he is the one psycharist who had met my dad once a month ago in that Hospital and he remembered my dad and month ago he resigned. Tonight, he told me not to aggressively fight for anything for dad on the cancer treatment as he thinks my dad is very terminal and should not let him suffer anymore. My dad is supposed not living now but instead now the tumor is growing outside the head may not a good sign for him because it may provide room for the tumor keeps growing instead of taking his life away. Life prolonging is meaningless to my dad and this just only brings more suffering. He also told me that my dad should not stop the antibiotics unless the side effects of antibiotics are too untolerable (damage kidney etc) or the infection is totally cured. He also said my dad case is rare and many unlucky things happened on him. He thinks my dad is too pity that end of life may be better. The probability of meeting him is almost zero, many co-incidents that put him and me met tonight. He quitted the job, he found this new jobs, I didn't go to see my dad tonight, he works for this clinic chain, he stayed in this clinic tonight (he will have consultation in different locations of every different night), I went to THAT clinic to draw blood.... I just think what GOD is going to tell me via this, what things I should do for dad, should i fight for continuing anti-biotics for dad? But on the other hand, my dad now has no pain with taking the pain killer, he still has consciousness that he could communicate with us sometimes even he is not presentable and with slurred speech, it may be good for him to still survive now. It is because he is not an outgoing person, stay in the bed is not the worst to him, his only wish is to be with us and stay with us. Sometimes, it is really hard to know what is good to him. do i think TOO MUCH? I know I never have answers and there is no ONE truth. I am that kind of person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shelliemacs Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 Is there anything I can do for you besides praying to help you through this awful time Berisa?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TAnn Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 Berisa, I am so sorry that your dad is going through this downturn. It must be very hard on you and the family to make all the decisions. I pray for the comfort of your father and that the doctors do all the right things to help him. TAnn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 Berisa, Hang on, sweetie. God loves you and your dad and all your family, too. He is with you through this sad and hard time. I pray that your dad will continue to remain comfortable and in no pain, and pray for peace and comfort for you and your family. Love, Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 I am so sorry to hear this news Berisa. I will be thinking of you and your father. Try to stay strong. Rochelle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathy Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 Oh Berisa, I am so sorry you and your family have to go through this. I am praying that God does what is best for your dad..((((BERISA))))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheresaKB Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 Hi Berisa, I can feel the anguish in your post and all that I can offer are prayers for peace, comfort and strength for you and your Dad. Stay strong and stay by your Dad's side. Let him know how much he is loved. Theresa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MO_Sugar Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 We know prayers help so you have all of mine! God Bless, MO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dadstimeon Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 So sorry to hear this Berisa. My thoughts and prayers are with your dad and you. Rich Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhutch1366 Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 Berisa, Prayers for you and your dad. I am sorry more cannot be done to restore your dad's health. XOXOX MaryAnn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KellyB Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 Berisa, This is such an awful struggle, how can you possibly decide what road is best? The choices are impossible. I pray for your Dad's peace and comfort, our Dad's are the same age and diagnosed at the same time, please call on me anytime for comfort or support. Sending prayers and good wishes.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 Berisa You and your family know what is best for your dad and what he would want. I pray for you peace and the strength to make the decisions you all face. You are so loved here, I want you to know. Elaine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 Hi, Berisa. I feel so much for you and your family. You could ask the doctor why the antibiotics were stopped, there may have been some other reason. It sounds like you are doing what you can for him. Maybe now just love him and touch him if he likes that and be with him. Even helping your other family members to cope will be helping him. Best wishes, Margaret in Iowa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gerbil runner Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 Berisa, I'm so sorry things look pretty much the same. You and your dad are always in my prayers. Without knowing the future, it is impossible to know whether any decision is the "right" one. But any decision made with love and concern will be a good one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
norme Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Beresa, There is no right or wrong way now. There is only God's way. If God is ready for your father then so be it. If not, he will have more chances after he rebounds from this last episode. It is not easy to go through what is happening right now. I know your father is happy to be home as my Buddy was. For most people, home is where one is the most comfortable at a time like this. Being surrounded by the ones you love. I pray for you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Billie Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Berisa, I am deeply saddened to hear of your Dad's problems. I am thinking of you and the difficult decisions you must make. Out of your love and devotion will come the right ones. Billie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilyjohn Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 I pray that you know God is holding you in his arms right now as well as your dad. I hate to hear that you are put in such a hard place. Making decisons is always hard. Just say a prayer that God will help you do the right thing. As you have been told if it is done with love it will be the right choice. God bless you and give you strength. I know how much you need that. Lillian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
berisa Posted April 20, 2004 Author Share Posted April 20, 2004 all my dear dear friends I wish all of you know how much all of you help me going through this in the past and I just can't refuse to come online EVERYDAY. You all just like my family that I wish to know more about all of you. I hope all the best things come to all of you and your family and remember that there is someone -- ME , who is living at the other side of this world, is always thinking of all of you and walking with all of you in this rocky road. Sometimes, prayers work you know, today morning, we asked the neurosurgeon why stopped the antibiotics, he told us from the latest culture test dated 4/19 (yesterday), no infection is found.....YEAH, Although a nurse there (she is the girlfriend of my sister's old friend) told us honestly the culture test may not be accurate enough as they just took from one place of the wound. Anyway, I am happy to hear about this and the neurosurgery nurse will continue to sterilize the wound daily. Thank you alll.......and if one day, you come to Hong Kong and CHINA for vacation, remember to contact me.......Be my guest!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenl Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Hi Berisa Thinking of you and hoping for the best. Hang in there - you are one tough cookie!! Your dad is lucky to have you on his side. Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mayos Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Hello Berisa....I wonder if the "chance" meeting with your Dad's psychiatrist was a sign of some sort. Maybe the doctor's words were meant to give you some peace of mind......or perhaps to offer a gentle hand with the decisions that lay ahead for you. I'm so sorry about the turn of events for your dad. Reach out to close friends and other family members...it can help get you through this sad time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karen335 Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Berisa, Sorry to hear your dad is not doing too well. Is there a reason why the antibiotics are not being given to your dad. If he doesn't have any side effects, maybe he needs to be on them for another week or so. Just to make sure all infection is gone. I would have him put back on them. I gusess I'm not understanding the psychiatrist's answers. Is he basically saying not to treat your dad? I lift your father up in prayer for a complete healing and strength. Lots of prayers and thoughts of you and your dad... Blessings and gentle hugs, Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharyn Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Dear Berisa - I read your post and I wish I could just hug you. I believe very strongly that God comes to us in many different ways, and he is ALWAYS there when we need him the most. I don't think the meeting with the psychiatrist was a coincidence. I believe he was sent to give you comfort and to help guide you. You need to let God take over now. Berisa, you have done a remarkable job of being caregiver for your Daddy. It is now time for God to take over and let you have some peace of mind to spend quality time with Dad. I pray for you and look for your posts daily - Much Love, Sharon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David A Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Berisa, wisihng all the best for your dad, you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie B Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Continued PRAYERS for you and your Dad! (((((((((Berisa)))))))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiny Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 Dearest Berisa- I always try to be upbeat and positive in my posts, but, honestly, it sounds as if your father is in the final stages--so many things mesh with what happened with either my father or my mother. I am sooooo glad that he is able to be home and that family members are there to help with the transition. My heart is heavy for you. Please pm me if you need to talk to someone who has been there. My father passed away at home from bone metastases due to prostrate cancer and my mother died at home as the result of kidney failure. May God give you and your family the necessary strength and grace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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