scaredofresults Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 Hello, Please pray for my mother. She had an MRI of her neck that detected a mass at the top of her lung. She has a CT scan scheduled for this Wedsnesday. I am so scared and living in fear of a bad result. At this point we don't know what it is but the whole family is worried sick that it might be cancer. It there anthing else that it could be? She is 58 years old and never smoked. The MRI was done for other reasons. They were not looking for cancer. What is the likelyhood that this is cancer? I can't bear this wait and am falling apart as is my family. Should'nt all masses be biopsied? Why aren't they biopsying this right away? I know you know what I am feeling as you have all been there before. I have not and feel completly devastated by this. Please help. Please pray for her. God Bless you all! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shelliemacs Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 ok first worrying wont help. It will make you nuts and it will do more harm than good. Whatever it is, it is what it is and from there you deal with it. What have they said that would lead you to believe its cancer other than the spot? is her white cell count off. does she show any other symptoms? It could be a whole mess of things but until they tell you, your worrying isn't going to change it. go with her on wednesday and ask exactly when the report will be written and if you can leave word that the dr. call when he reads it. second if it is cancer, for the first few days life will suck, then when the dr. develop the plan, you will adjust and feel better. BUT it may not even be cancer yet so take a deep breath and let it out, repeat this 5 times and do whatever you have to do to puch it aside until you know for sure what it is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scaredofresults Posted April 19, 2004 Author Share Posted April 19, 2004 I am trying to bear this but can't. What else could it be being a large mass? What else? I'm strugling to think of things via the internet but can't find anything other then cancer being the most common thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shelliemacs Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 I am not sure, could be pneumonia or a BENIGN mass but so ok, prepare for the worst but hope for the best. If it is cancer there are many treatments that can control it even if its late stage. There are many stage 4 people here who are still here after years. please try to do something with all this pent up anxiety and stress it is not good for you. believe me I know I lost my mom to LC last august and now my dad has it too. I know what anxiety will do to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scaredofresults Posted April 19, 2004 Author Share Posted April 19, 2004 I am so sorry for your loss. I admire your ability to hold it together. Everything I find on the internet is so negative. It is so hard and so early. I just can't imagine anything in the lung being anything less then bad. Right now I'm working and cry on a whim. So hard to bear this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scaredofresults Posted April 19, 2004 Author Share Posted April 19, 2004 To my knowlege they have not tested her T-cell count. Should they have? I'm told that this is not a spot, it's a mass, and not small. She has no symptoms. What else could it be? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shelliemacs Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 ok let me play devils advocate here. what if it is LC, then you are either recommended to an Oncologist or you find one on your own. Second they do a whole bunch of tests to determine what type, where it is in her body, and from that they develop either surgical, chemo, or radiation plans to treat and hopefully beat the disease. IF it is cancer your world will crash for a few days, and you will join all of us here on the most awful ride in the park, the cancer coaster. but we are all on it together and when one feels like they are going to fall off, there are over 1000 plus family members to hold you in. to make yourself feel better today, go kick, punch or beat something like a pillow, mattress, or a mean person. It has always helped me to kick my boss and or supervisor, yes I get fired from allot of jobs doing that but hey for an afternoon I feel great. just kidding, we are all here for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scaredofresults Posted April 19, 2004 Author Share Posted April 19, 2004 I never thought you'd catch me on a message board but I feel like there is no one to talk to right now. Thanks for the support. I keep hitting refresh to read the replies ASAP. I need the support. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 Dear Scared, We all understand why you are scared. The whole world is scared of the 'cancer' word. But as Shelly said, there are a bzillion things that this could be. Be glad you have doctors that say, let's find out what it is. Try to calm down and be there for your Mother. I agree that you should ask to get the results of the CT reading as soon as possible for you peace of mind. If, God forbid, it is lung cancer, you will find that the people on this board with the longest survivorship are the ones where the tumor was found by accident. And, the cancer treatments have come a long way. Let us know the results. We will all be praying that you don't need to be here. Ginny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 Shelly has given you some excellent advice. Not much to add except welcome. Also want you to know others have come here in your same situation and have been lucky enough to leave because it turned out it was not lung cancer. It could be a collapsed lung, pneumonia, scar tissue, etc. etc. etc. Hang in there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shelliemacs Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 well I have been in that same position and I know your wanting someone to tell you right now that "ITS ABSOLUTELY NOT CANCER" unfortunately I can't say it. We all have been there. It sucks, its awful, it makes you sick to your stomach and you just cant believe the world is still spinning when your mom potentially may have cancer. How can anyone else in the world be smiling, or laughing or going on with life when right now yours is in limbo and your on a cliff and how dare they enjoy life. Stop me when I get close. believe me everyone here has worn that hat and unfortunately too many more will come and live this day your living right now. tie a knot in the the rope your at the end of and just hang on. it will swing up and down 1000 times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvmydog2 Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 Hi, Shelly has given you some good advice. I'll try to give you some more. Don't borrow trouble. If it is CANCER then that is bad enough. If it is not, then you have wasted a lot of time worrying and surfing for nothing. As Shelly said, prepare for worst and hope for the best. As far as the internet goes, my doctor told me to believe half of what I read. which half is up to you. There are over 1000 loving and careing people here. Someone has been in your shoes as well as your mothers. Take a break from worring and come back and give us the good news from the doctor. Feel free to come here and talk with us if you feel the need. You can also come to CHAT on Tues and talk with us or share a laugh. Bruce Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhutch1366 Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 Scared, Good advice is being given. Worrying never changed anything. You're in good company, no matter what the results may be. You and your mom are NOT alone. There's a whole bunch of us here who know what the wait is like. Hang in there. XOXOX MaryAnn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scaredofresults Posted April 19, 2004 Author Share Posted April 19, 2004 If this is a rollercoaster then I want off now. I just wish my mother would be able to have had the CT scan sooner. I just thought that when they see something potentially serious they would do something about it immeadiately. We all need answers. Thanks for all your support. I am listening closely and will continue to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 Hi Scared,As every one here will tell you There are a lot of things the mass could be including not cancer.Don't beat yourself up unless you have to.Best wishes coming to you but remember if worst case scenario there are well over 1000 knowing and caring people here that can help you at every turn in the road. FRANK L. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MO_Sugar Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 In my opinion all you do with worry is waste time. Of course you should be concerned and of course you need to offer as much support as possible but if you spend all your time "worried" you will miss out on alot of what life has to offer. These folks have given some very good advice. Don't borrow trouble and don't listen to statistics! Your Mom and her Doctors will decided what needs to be done when they get an actual dx so until then all YOU can do is pray and be there for her. My prayers are with her and your family. God Bless, MO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scaredofresults Posted April 20, 2004 Author Share Posted April 20, 2004 Thank you. I will try to take your advise and not worry until needed. After talking to my father I've been getting depressed. He has already taken to blaiming himself for the years he used to smoked. He thinks she has cancer and it's because of his former smoking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
betplace Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Scared, take a deep breath: now repeat with me: Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. take another deep breath. Now cease worrying and every time the worry starts repeat that prayer, along with the deep breaths. That and the love of 1000 compassionate caring people should get you through until you know what is actually going on. Welcome, we pray with you that it is nothing terrible. Blessings Betty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Wow, Shelly, this was just wonderful, absolutely wonderful. This young lady is scared to death, and I would have wanted to hear exactly what you said (along with all the reasons not to worry that you said earlier and everyone else has said). I think you identified with her and what she's feeling. I just bet you made a friend for life with this advice. Well done!!! well I have been in that same position and I know your wanting someone to tell you right now that "ITS ABSOLUTELY NOT CANCER" unfortunately I can't say it. We all have been there. It sucks, its awful, it makes you sick to your stomach and you just cant believe the world is still spinning when your mom potentially may have cancer. How can anyone else in the world be smiling, or laughing or going on with life when right now yours is in limbo and your on a cliff and how dare they enjoy life. Stop me when I get close. believe me everyone here has worn that hat and unfortunately too many more will come and live this day your living right now. tie a knot in the the rope your at the end of and just hang on. it will swing up and down 1000 times. To "Scared": Our son had a horrible, horrible time dealing with his dad's dx. He was 26 at the time. We were driving down the road one day, and he's going through one of his times shouting "He's going to die. Don't you get it. He's got this sh__ in his BRAIN!!!!" He was totally screaming. I said, "Yes, and that's why he's getting radiation and chemo." He said, "You don't get it! You just don't get it! That sh__ is poison! They give that sh__ to people just to keep them alive!" There was a pause, and I looked at him and very quietly said, "Exxxxxxxxxxactly." The rest of the ride was quiet, very quiet, and calm, very calm. He just never looked at it that way. Peggy P.S. Also, to "Scared": Do the breathing everyone suggests - it really, really does work, and another thing, as soon as you're through this horrible crisis, why not change your username to something like "I-Can" or "Iam4Mom". Sounds a little more optimistic, don't you think? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scaredofresults Posted April 20, 2004 Author Share Posted April 20, 2004 Could nemonia (spelled wrong) ever apear as a mass. My mother had it in November and has since recovered from it back then. It was not a very long sickness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilyjohn Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 I know the fear and desperation that you are feeling now. Like everyone says don't borrow trouble. It could be any number of things. You need to save your strength and pull yourself together. If it is not cancer it could be something else that requires extensive treatment. It could also be something that will be taken care of quickly then all of this will pass. Yes it could be cancer and that is so frightening to think about. The thing is no matter what it is your mom needs you to be strong. You have to pull yourself together to be there for her. You have support here and you have love with your parents. Those are things that will help you face whatever is ahead. Use that serenity prayer and put your boxing gloves on prepared to fight if you need to. If you fall apart now what will you do if the news is bad? Be determined to be there for both your parents no matter what the outcome is. One piece of advice that Shelly gave you was given to me one time. Go to a goodwill store and buy and old doll. Take her home and beat on her and slap her and swing her by the arms. Beat her head against the wall if you have to. Do anything it takes to unleash some of that fear and frustration that you feel. It may not make the situation go away but it sure will help relieve some of your stress. If you are going to exhaust yourself do it this way instead of wringing your hands and falling apart. If fate has decided that you will join all of us on this ride you will need your strength then. While you don't need it put it to good use against all that is going on inside of you. Then be prepared to do battle if you have to. Who knows this may just be a scare to make you see even more than you do already how much your mom means to you. No matter what this turns out to be don't ever forget what you are going through now. It will help you to remember how strong love can be and what are the most important things in life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bean_si (Not Active) Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 scaredofresults I can certainly sympathize with you. After the first few tests, I called within 24 hours and marched myself into the hospital, requesting the results. I could not wait. With that said, I think it to important they did not indicated LC! They told me straight off after the X-ray and the CAT scan and BEFORE the biopsy. Same with my mother. Bam, girl! You have lung cancer. No doubt. We'll test to see what kind. I believe cancer cells are easy to differentiate. They knew immediately. It sounds like pneumonia or some such to me. Yes, it could be cancer and the dear Lord knows how hard this will be for you but you will survive and gave comfort to your mother. Ask your Supreme Being, your God to reach down and hold you in his heart. I will be holding you in mine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bean_si (Not Active) Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 i can't figure how to get rid of this post Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scaredofresults Posted April 20, 2004 Author Share Posted April 20, 2004 Today I feel a little better. Not much. But a little. I'll take that for now. Thank you all who respond to my post. It has helped me cope a little before finding out more infomation from the doctor. This situation was coupled with another which has been unfolding. On the Thursday before Easter my neighbor fell and needed to be carried into her house. I insisted she go to the hospital but she refused. We checked up on her periodically. Last Friday I learned that she was taken to the hospital on Easter. They found cancerous tumors in her brain and throughout her body. I'm visiting her tonight. This morning a client of mine reported to me that her 6 year old sister died of Leukemia the other day. Just now I just got off the phone with a client who said his Aunt died suddenly of breast cancer. This terrible chain of cancer has got to stop. It is to many at one time. All of this is why I'm scared. It's like a puzzle that is being pieced together slowly and the image is a terrifying one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karen335 Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Sorry for the late post. Your mom is in my prayers each Day! Keep the faith and let it go to God. Through Him ALL things are possible... Stay strong. God Bless and prayers, Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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