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My Daughter's 2nd Birthday Today...Missing My Mom


Andrea B.

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My daughter turned 2 today and it is just another reason to miss my mom terribly. She has only been gone a week, but the pain feels like it will never subside. I keep thinking someone is going to tell me this is a bad dream.

My daughter asks to see grandma and then will pick up her phone and pretend she is talking to grandma. Oh what I wouldn't give to be able to talk to my mom again.

Thanks for letting me go on...I am hurting so.

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oh Andrea!

I am so sorry..wish I were near to give you a hug. My sons birthday was a month after my dad died. It was so incredibly hard. Hunter turned 6 and he was so sad- even though we invited his entire class and tried to make a go of it. He was my dad's little buddy...after dad retired he built Hunter a boat-by hand- and they were to go sailing together- only then he got sick and those plans never happened.

Its still so early and new and raw for you. It doesn't go away- but it dulls a bit after some time. I still have a hard time after 7 months! So I am not the one to give advice. But I wanted you to know that I know how you feel, and that I am here for you always.

Love,

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Andrea,

I do understand how hard it is. You have been in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry you are in such pain, but I think those of us who have lost our loved ones do understand. I think we all are wishing for that magic phone that will let us talk to our loved ones and be able to hear them speak to us.

Take care dear girl. Hold your daughter close and give her those hugs from Grandma that she needs. Your mom is with you always.

Gental hugs,

Shirley

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Guest blynch

Andrea,

I am so sorry for your pain. I know how difficult this must be. My father, like your mom, was the rock in our family. It is impossible to fill that void. I am just dreading my son's 2nd birthday next month. My dad has been gone over a month, and he still asks for him.

Keep showing the pictures, and talk about the love, and your mother will stay with you and your daughter always.

Warm wishes during this difficult time,

Bridget

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Andrea,

I know the feeling will never go away, it will only get softer.

My Mom died in 1975 and daily she is with me in my mind.

She was a strong person and one of the nicest compliment my

husband gave me was when he told me that with each passing day

I was getting more like her.

Give your daughter a big hug.

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Andrea my heart breaks for your pain. Those first few weeks are so difficult because we are still in shock and as the shock starts to wear off we feel both the shock and the pain. That feeling of being in a nightmare is very normal. I think all of us keep waiting to wake up and have our loved one still with us. As reality starts to take over that feeling will come and go. It has been nearly 17 months sense Johnny's death and at times I still wait for my nightmare to end. I think that is in someway our minds way of getting us through some of the hardest times.

As far as your little girl is concerned I will tell you something. Children see and feel things that we have trained ourselves not to. We see something that makes us believe that our loved one is still with us and ignore them thinking that our grief is making our minds see things that we want to see. Children have not had their minds corrupted like we have. They see and hear and accept those things. You see your daughter as missing your mom and pretending to talk to her. Have you ever considered the posibility that she does hear your mom and is talking to her? I really believe that our loved ones are still near us and that they come to children more than adults so those children learn to miss them graduallly. That saves them from much trauma and emotional problems.

Johnny's grandson was two years old when Johnny died. The last time he saw him that Sunday before his death when no one else believed that he would die because we knew more his grandson looked at him and told his mother"it is time for Paw Paw to go home." He still talks to him on the phone on occasion and even told his parents that his Paw Paw was going camping with them. After his death that child never asked for him for nearly three weeks. He was at the memorial and had seen us together for months yet when he saw me he never asked for Johnny nor asked about him. I will always believe that was because Johnny was still with him. It was only us that could not see him.

I'm telling you these things because I don't want you to suffer more pain because of what your child may be feeling. Bearing your own pain is hard enough. I will just say keep an open mind and maybe you will be lucky enough to realize that your mom is still with you. No it won't ease the pain of her physical loss but it will make it easier to cope with the coming days of heartache. Lillian

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Andrea,

I too can relate. Five days after we lost my Mom, my daughter turned 12. I was determined to be strong for her and celebrate. We decided to spend the afternoon bowling. We invited my Dad, he declined, didn't think he could do it. Just before we left the house, my Dad called, he changed his mind. We got thru the day. While my Mom was going thru chemo, she made an afghan for my daughter for her birthday, she wasn't here to give it to her, but I was proud to give it to my daughter for her. Somehow you summon up the strengh for your kids. Next month will be one year. JC is right, time does soften the wound. Memories keep my Mom alive to me.

Thoughts and prayers for you,

Faylene

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