J.C. Posted April 23, 2004 Share Posted April 23, 2004 1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING sex? (because they are plugged into a genius) 2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING sex? (they don't have enough time) 3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG? (they don't stop to ask directions) 4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS? (because their balls fall over their butts and they vapor lock) 5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS? (so they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties) 6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN? (you need a rough draft before you make a final copy) 7. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH? (because a vibrator can't now the lawn) J.C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted April 23, 2004 Share Posted April 23, 2004 DAMN! They've GOT to make a vibrator that mows the lawn! Oh, oh, oh, I've got a funny!! My mother doesn't really care for dirty jokes, she just doesn't. I LOVE 'em, tellin' 'em, hearin' 'em, livin' 'em...but ANYHOW... We were driving down a country road and there's a house with a sheep in the backyard... Question was if it was a pet - my answer was "No, that's his prom date!" So, my mother punched me in the arm...and then laughed...punched me again, told me I'm a "sh*thead" and laughed some more... Sure was good to hear her laugh, she hasn't been doing a lot of that lately.. I think I'd buy a vibrator that mowed the lawn...or push my spouse to get a "girlfriend" that grazed... Mowing just takes my breath away now! I know, I know, TMI (Too Much Information)... Back to the grindstone... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted April 23, 2004 Author Share Posted April 23, 2004 contrary to your mother, mine loved jokes, but could not tell them, she always got the punch lines mixed up. Anyway, she tried to teach French to Mike (Irish) one winter day she told him, ''C'est froid pour les gosses'' (it is cold for the balls) but she told him it meant it is very cold. Mike was manager for a music store and an old VIP lady comes in during the storm and Mike as a good student told her. ''C'est froid pour les gosses'' She left the store very fast. after he always asked me the translation before using any more of my mother French lessons. They were the best of friends. J.C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted April 23, 2004 Share Posted April 23, 2004 Jackie That is SO funny. Elaine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiny Posted April 24, 2004 Share Posted April 24, 2004 J.C. Cela est si drôle! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted April 25, 2004 Share Posted April 25, 2004 My mother kept a notebook in her pocketbook with the punch lines to good jokes. However, she would never tell a 'dirty' joke to one of her daughters until we were married. HaHa. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie B Posted April 28, 2004 Share Posted April 28, 2004 We have a dear friend who LOVE'S to tell jokes. One MAJOR problem though, everytime he starts to tell the joke, he starts LAUGHING right in the middle of it, and can't stop....... Then his wife pops in and finishes the joke after two minutes of him laughing. Drives me NUTS but I have to admit, I start laughing right along with him. I also have an 80 year old Uncle who can sit and tell jokes one right after the other for hours on end and NEVER tell the same joke twice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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