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Subject: A wife's Revenge

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clocked you

at 80 mile per hour, sir."

The driver says, "Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps

your radar needs calibrating."

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says sweetly from the passenger

seat, "Now don't be silly, dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise

control."

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and

growls, "Can't you keep your mouth shut for once?"

The wife smiles demurely and says, " You should be thankful your radar

detector went off when it did."

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector

unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it,

woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat

belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."

The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off

when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back

pocket."

The wife says,"Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat

belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns

to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU SHUT UP??"

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk

to you this way, Ma'am?"

(the killer line is next)

Oh, heavens no, officer! Only when he's been drinking."

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