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Hi friends,

Yes I come to check up on all of you now and again but feel I have nothing left to give. I am still just devastated. I am supposed to go back to school and teach (5th grade) on Thursday and I am just dreading it. I break down several times a day and am dealing with panic attacks and anxiety. My daughter sleeps with me in her dad's place in bed - not sure if it is for her comfort or why.

I feel guilty for not posting and giving encouragement to so many people - but honestly....I have no words to do so.

I am so very sorry.

Thank you for still thinking of me.

God bless you all,


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Each day will bring a new challenge and feelings. You need to do what is right for YOU now. We will be here when you are ready to come back and visit. You know you will always be welcome in this family!

Prayers for strength and healing are being said for you and yours.

God Bless,


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Peg, It's so good to hear from you. I can't share your grief or your pain since I've never lost the love of my life, but I do share my heart.

In your post, you said,

I have nothing left to give
. I found 1025 posts by you. I haven't read every single one, but it looks like 1020 of them were all "giving" and all the rest were "updates". It's not your time to give right now; it's your time to take. Take all you can from the hearts and minds and thoughts and love and understanding and tears from all those who will post here and have already posted on the other threads, and absorb them deep inside you. The men and women here who have lost their spouses know your pain and devastation, and all the rest of us know your giving heart. We know it hurts, and that it hurts real bad. You just sit back and read and soak up all that you can to help you through this dark and sad time. We'll be waiting for you to come back and give to us again, but not until you have replenished yourself, then you will be able to give again. I have a feeling that giving is just natural for you, and it will come back in time.

Love and prayers,


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Take the time to roll up into a ball and hold that part of you that hurts so much. Take the space you need, take the time you need (just give us an update every now and then so we know that the "shell" is doing okay) and work on healing enough to function. Take care of you right now, Peg. You've been through a lot of heart-rending stuff and need some emotional space to recoil.

I wish you peace and strength,


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My dear Peg,

I am totally inadequate in writing feelings, very good at facts, so I apologize in advance for no eloquence.

Take the time you need to begin to heal. There are so many people here that are thinking about you and sending prayers to help you find some peace and comfort.

How can we not mourn deeply the lose of our sweetheart? How can we not be unbelievably sad having watched them suffer as they did from this horrible disease?

The only good news about time is that it does allow our hearts and souls to heal, not forget, but heal.

Come here to just read as you need. When ready to post we will be so glad to hear from you.

Going back to school will be very tough, but may be a blessing to give you some time to think about something else.

Take care of yourself and give your daughter a hug from all of us.



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I know the feeling. Those first six weeks I wanted to die to. All I did was cry when I was alone or whenever anyone spoke Buddy's name. What I guess that got me though this far is hearing in my mind Buddy tell me I would make it for I was strong. He told me this over and over when he was sick. He never lost a loving wife, I was the one who lost the loving husband. He didn't realize how devastating it was going to be. I really don't think he could have done this widow/er thing. I wonder sometimes how I am doing it. Just know that we are the ones left to carry on I guess because that is how God wanted it. Why? who knows.

I wish I could help you get though these weeks and months. One good thing is school is almost out. YOu may find that once you get back now and talk with everyone you care about there, you will have some strengh from them to make it through each day. It might be the strength you need. The initial point of getting back and facing everyone is the hardest part.

You know, you do have strength to carry on for you would never have posted here on this board all those 1025 times if you didn't have a strong mind and heart. You are strong, you will survive and be there for Sarah to. You have her beautiful future to look forward to.

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Oh Peg,

I'm so sorry. I have not any words either.. You are a wonderful woman who is very supportive and strong. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you and your daughter but I just wanted to say that I am thinking about you and praying for you. May God give you strength to find beauty in each day.



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Oh, Peg,

A family of support means when someone is down and has no energy to give, there are plenty of loving, caring people to lend that one strength.

Lean on me, let me wipe your tears away.


Prayers, always,



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