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Kids and Church

David A

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A little boy was attending his first wedding.

After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man


"Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he

had an answer so quickly.

"How do you know that?"

"Easy," the little boy said.

"All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said:

4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."


After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy

suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a

minister When I grow up."

"That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?"

"Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday

anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than

to sit and listen."


A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a

church service: "And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those

who passed trash against us."


A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon.

"How do you know what to say?" he asked.

"Why, God tells me."

"Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"


A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon

dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and


"Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"


After the christening of his baby brother in church,

little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His

father asked him three times what was wrong.

Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he wanted us

brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!"


Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their

favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which

showed four people on an

airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent. The

Flight to Egypt, was his reply.

Pointing at each figure, Ms. Terri said, "Tthat must be

Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus. But who's the fourth person?"

"Oh, that's Pontius - the pilot.


The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you

say prayers before eating?"

"No sir," little Johnny replies,

"I don't have to. My Mom is a good cook."


A college drama group presented a play in which one character

would stand on a trap door and announce, "I descend into hell!"

A stagehand below would then pull a rope, the trapdoor would

spring, and the actor would drop from view.

The play was well received. When the actor playing the part

became ill, another actor who was quite overweight took his place.

When the new actor announced, "I descend into hell!" the stagehand

pulled the rope, and the actor began his plunge, but became

hopelessly stuck. No amount of tugging on the rope could make him


One student in the balcony jumped up and yelled:

"Hallelujah! Hell is full!"


Pastor Dave Charlton tells us, "After a worship service at

First Baptist Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety

seven-year old boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still and

be quiet. About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and

whispered, 'If you don't be quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose his

place and will have to start his sermon all over again!'

It worked."


This is the best one ... A little girl was sitting on her

grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story.

From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book

and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately

stroking her own cheek, then his again.

Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"

"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."

"Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?"

"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little

while ago."

Feeling their respective faces again, she observed,

"God's getting better at it, isn't he?"

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