-Cheryl- Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 Dear Friends, It is hard to believe that a year will have passed on May 13th since my intial diagnosis, which is my husband's birthday by the way. What a gift it was last year for him to hear my diagnosis on his birthday. I went back to read my original posts, directly after my diagnosis. How frightened and desperate I sounded. I always feared that I too would be diagnosed with cancer because of my parents, but the diagnosis floored me. My only experience with cancer ended in deaths of both of my parents within 2 weeks of one another. They suffered greatly during their illnesses. I prayed for years to die any other way, but not of cancer, because of what I had witnessed. Now, here I am with the same disease. We have come along way, but not far enough in the past 20 years! It is not acceptable to see doctors giving cancer patients narcotics just to cover and mask their pain, rather than investigate the source of thir pain. I was told, "Well you have cancer." In reflection of this past year, my diagnosis has been not all bad. I have grown spiritually, I no longer put off things, my family and I have grown closer, and I appreciate each and every blessing from God. I found this wonderful web site that has lifted me up through prayer and support. Unfortunately, some of those advocates who were here in the beginning with me, are no longer with us. People like: Ada W., Judy B. Lenny, Greg, Becky G, Sam, Sue m., Jessie, Matthew,, Buddy, Shelly's Mom, Andrea's mom, Debaroo's Dad.........the list goes on. Losing someone on this board is like losing a family member. Each person's losses and triumphs are felt by us all. When I was first diagnosed, I was afraid that each day would be my last. I couldn't bear to get out of bed. I felt so hopeless. I had gone to my PA for a pain in the center of my chest. It was not really painful, just annoying. An EKG was done and was normal however, an x-ray revealed a tiny spot in my right middle lobe. Over the next month of fog, I had a whirlwind of tests to confirm or disconfirm various diagnoses. I had a CAT, a PET, a MRI, a Bronchoscopy, a medistinoscopy, and finally an attempt at surgery was made. Unfortunately , I awoke with all the lobes of my lung, and knew that I was no longer diagnosed with stage 1 anymore. Following my diagnosis, my body would be pumped full of poisonous chemo and zapped with radioactive beams, all to prepare me for what would be one of the most painful surgeries known to mankind. I never even had to have a transfusion during chemo! I was strong and stayed positive. I remember when I was a child, I use to tell my father when he spanked me, "That didnt hurt." Well I had that same tenacity during treatment. Give me more! I can take it! I want to live, I want to beat this beast!!! I prayed to God, begged and pleaded, even bartared with him to let me live. I am not ready yet to be put into the ground. I have the greatest life, a wonderful husband that I adore, a job with kids and their families who need me. Why is this happenening to me????? My parents finally got their dream home and were snuffed out by this disease, and now that curse is upon me! My Legacy I suppose. A year has flown by much too fast now. I am determined to live my live to the fullest each and every day. I went back to my job fulltime in Aug., after treatment. It was hard, but I did it. I only took off 3 1/2 weeks for surgery! I am by no means super human by any stretch of the imagination, just determined to survive. I was scared I would lose my job and benefits too. Ha! I am thankful to still be here. I will not waste another day worrying about tomorrow. I mean, afterall, we really only have just today don't we? Thank You for being here for me you guys! Much Love, Cheryl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hebbie Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 Cheryl, Your post brought me to tears. I love your spirit and your fighting nature -- keep it up!!! You are strong, you are taking care of yourself, and you will conquer this beast!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 Cheryl, What a beautiful post, heartfelt, warm, understanding and also painful. You are a dear, sweet lady, and hope that God blesses you with years + years + years + years. Love, Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shelliemacs Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 I am so SO honored that you included my mom in your post. I admire your fighting strength. May you beat the shi...er....crap out of this monster. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 Cheryl I remember reading one of your early posts and thinking that you had grown so much. You truly are one of my many heroes on here. Your post is so honest and helpful to those of us still struggling. I know you still struggle, too. I hope you ask for what you need when you do feel down. Lots of us are here for you. Elaine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fay A. Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 Cheryl, Congratulations on one of what I hope will be many, many anniversaries as a Lung Cancer Survivor. I salute you in your quest to live LIFE the best way you can. You and Jack have been hit with a few hard blows over this past year, and you have not given in to the life zapping negativity. "Heroes". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MO_Sugar Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 Cheryl, Your strength and determination shine through your words! You CAN beat this!! Congratulations on a years victory and I am sending prayers and good wishes for many, many more!!! God Bless, MO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carlton Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 Hi Cheryl---You sure have been through a lot in a years time. I admire you for putting that piece of toast on a plate without buttering it up. Was talking to a neighbor yesterday he asked how i was doing after telling him some of what i have been going through his reply was my goodness what some people will do to stay alive. I came indoors and headedfor the bathroom literly made me sick. So many people just assume if you have cancer you should just lie down and die just get it over with. i guess they forgot we are human and have feelings. I wish i had a printer so i could print out your post and give it to some of these jurks. sorry about the word. I wish for you many more years of a very full and satisfying life. You take care my friend and as always chin up. Carlton Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hebbie Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 Wow Carlton, I can't even think of an appropriate response to that. What an insensitive %*&@ your neighbor sounds like! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Z_Pacific Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 Cheryl. I passed the one-year mark stage IV in March and thank God for each day he gives me. Your post was a true inspiration for all of us who fight this beast in our own way. God Bless, Howard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TAnn Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 Cheryl, Congratulations on your 1 year survivorship. I had mine on April 10th. You are one of the people that kept me positive when I was just a "lurker" on this site. You are strong and your strength shines through to all of us. May your next year be a happier and healthier one. I wish I had your strong resolve, it is very difficult to be that way all the time. May God bless you and your wonderful husband. TAnn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 Congratulations and thank you. I appreciate people like you. Margaret in Iowa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 cheryl, Happy one year anniversary!! Here's to 10 more! When are you going to let Jack back on here? He is missed. Jack, yo Jack. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 Cheryl, Congratulations for the first year. With your determination many more will follow. xo J.C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 Happy first anniversary, Cheryl, and I wish you many, many more. Happy birthday, Jack, and I wish you many, many more. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geoff Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 Cheryl, We are all blessed by your attitude, thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jana_W Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 Oh Cheryl, that's so beautiful. Your strength and courage are a constant amazement to me. Jana xxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy RN Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 Cheryl!! 1 Year, amazing isn't it! I remember when we first started talking on these boards. I for one am counting on being around a long time, you will too. In 10 yrs we will still be here telling others they can make it too. Cindy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 Dear Cheryl, 1 year - 1 very tough year and you made it. May the next 40 come more easily. Happy anniversay Cheryl Happy birthday Jack Ginny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
betplace Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 Happy 1 year Anniversary Cheryl! Blessings Betty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrea Posted May 13, 2004 Share Posted May 13, 2004 Cheryl, Your courage and strength are so admirable. Wow, what a year for you. And then you had Jack's heart attack. I will never forget coming on and seeing that post. Thank g-d he is doing well now and thank g-d for you. You are a true figther and just an inspiration. I bet you are the office role model. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa O Posted May 13, 2004 Share Posted May 13, 2004 Happy anniversary Cheryl! You have come so far. I wish you a very long journey in this lifetime and many more survivor anniversaries to come. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Cheryl- Posted May 14, 2004 Author Share Posted May 14, 2004 Thank you for the aniversary wishes. I am nobody special. Just don't much like the alternative, Ha! I would like to wish us all many, many more aniversaries. God Please find a cure for this disease! Bless all of my new found family. Love you guys, Cheryl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamie Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 Cheryl, I read your posts all the time, and I wish you the best. I just hope I can write a great 1 yr. report on my Dad. It was really touching. Jamie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karen335 Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 Cheryl, You are just an awesome lady. I have so much admiration for you and respect all that you stand for. Keep the faith and believe that God had healed us. Thank you for sharing and cheers to many more anniversaries... God bless, affection and gentle hugs, Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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