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KatieB

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RE: the string and other subsequent correspondence from the thread titled "No holds barred" forum suggestion from Caregivers" and another thread located in the Family Members / Caregivers Forum. I am hoping to address everyone with this one posting.

This is in regards to the back & forth tug of war and opinions regarding postings. Everyone is entitled to every feeling they have to express, and I agree with you all in that we are here to support each other..

>>>I don't know how this got so blown up and out of control. I am so very very tired.

Here is what we would like everyone to know.

LCSC is a place where EVERYONE dealing with LC comes to vent, receive and offer support, gain some information and gain the hope that the "outside" world does not give us. This will never be censored.

That said. Posts will not be monitored for content unless they specifically attack another member in a derrogatory way. Or unless the author of the originating post requests that string to be deleted This website was built on the concept that we come here because this is the only place that understands the gravity of this disease and it is safe to unleash our feelings here. ALL of our feelings. Publicly arguing about whether or not another persons feelings are valid takes away from the 1000 + members here hoping to make it another day.

Andrea B. is right. There are specific forums that we created where you go and "unload".

I too hope that things remain the same.

For example, Family members/caregivers- this is a place for caregivers to unload, unleash, support and give information. Same with the Grieving Forum- those of us in grief, sadness, anger- we post our dispair in that forum.

If you do not want to read those posts from those people or a post with a "warning" in the title - DO NOT go into those forums and DO NOT click on those posts. You know from reading the title of the forum that there is probably not going to be "happy" news in the Grieving Forum.

Please use your best judgment for yourself.

We cannot please everyone- no matter how hard we try.

I hope that this "rift" repairs itself soon. We need to move on because I personally think there are bigger issues in the grand sceme of things. We are losing our "focus" here and when that happens- there will be no need for this website any longer.

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I'm not sure what this is about or what caused you to make this posting.

I'm fairly new, but I will abide by the rules. I hope the rift repairs itself also, because it seems every member here has bigger fish to fry and that

is LC.

From what I have read here, it seems to be a good group of people.

BJ

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BJ , I am with you. I don't know where this is coming from but I do know that this site is wonderful There are so many wonderful people here, so much great info and referals for more great info. It is a huge gathering of many people affected by this horrible disease. There is strength in numbers! We are stronger because of this site. I pray so many of us with survive that our voices will be heard to cause the powers that be to find a cure for this disease. Thanks Katie and Rick for empowering us. Donna G

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Thanks Katie! That was well said. I absolutely would hate to see a rift between caregivers and survivors. I love that there are people from all over the spectrum here. I love that as a caregiver I can post a concern and get advice from all, because those who are survivors can give me possible insight into what my mom might be going through-- and those who are caregivers can clue me in to better ways to approach things. But in all of it, I love how supportive and encouraging everyone is here.

Thanks so much.

Amy

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Katie,

I agree with you 100% about this crazy stuff. I found myself in the middle, and I agree with both sides. Although I love all the support, I also love trying to help everyone. How can we help each other if were all bottled up????

Jamie

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Everyone,

There is no more rift :) There never was really a rift. Here is my take on it. You know how when you are upset and emotions run high, you sometimes take things out on your family members but not your co-workers, friends, etc? Like I will snap at my parents, but never people in the office. Well here, we really are like family members. Our emotions are high and sometimes on e-mail things can be misconstrued and we are so comfortable with each other that we can snap.

The post is obvious in Caregivers, I said something unintentionally that offended Snowflake, then I got a little upset, and blah blah. However, truth be told, no one meant harm, we now all understand that if something offensive is said, not to take it to heart on either side. Like Katie said, people are battling for lives. And we are all on teh same side :):)

Caregivers is a great place for caregivers to vent, and we just have to remember that if something is posted under caregiver instead of under general, it might be intended for a diffrent audience. Same as grieving, we need to have Natalie and Andrea B. grieve and vent. If people don't wnat to read it, obviously grieving is not going to be a "happy" place. General and NCLC etc, are all awesome for information on cancer itself.

If anything, we need to just be more aware of the captions of each forum, that is why they are there.

And just FYI, hopefully she will not get upset for saying this, but Snowflake and I are friendly, just further evidence of no rift. She has been PMing me with advice how to deal with my mom's radiation cough and the diabetic issue. The only issue we are having right now is that seh REFUSES to send me the cheesecake she made via the computer :shock: I want cheesecake!!!! OOOHHHH, I know, Cheesecake Factory, I want to eat there!!!!!!!! I LOVE the food and dessert. Thank goodness Katie made those LCSC t-shirts to fit me :)

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Please no rifts, no arguments, no hard feelings, there are enough bad things happening in the real world.

Katie, you are so right. We have forums for all sorts of different issues. If you think your topic may offend or be too harsh, include that info in the subject line. People can then choose to read or not.

This site offers many things to many people. To have it dissolve upon itself would be horrendous.

It is my wish that this site continues to grow and prosper and to someday become the main force for support and advocacy against this dreaded disease.

Remember, we only know each other as pictures and words here, but the relationships that have been built through our mutual cause are strong and abiding.

Ginny

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Damm*t, Andrea! Now Rochelle knows that I'm not taking my "diet" seriously! Do you know how much she's going to fine me for that?? And if I don't sent HER some cheesecake she'll fine me even MORE!

I'll just tell her that you're responsible for my debts incurred today... :shock:

A list of just SOME of the $10 fines (I swear, the woman is going to have more money than Oprah!): big words, bad words, leaving early, staying late, whining, stealing the hall pass.... I'm so broke I can't even pay attention...

So, if anyone asks, it's TRAIL MIX...I'm making a healthy TRAIL MIX... Good for the body, good for the soul - oh hell, who am I kidding, if it's good for the soul, it HAS to contain chocolate! (I made turtle cheesecake last night for a dinner party tonight.) Er, I mean TRAIL MIX...with granola...lots of twigs for fiber...heavy on the trail...

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We all know the cheesecake was for your son and husband, not for you :):) Just like the Baskin Robbins ice cream cake we got for free last week was really for Brian :) We are having so much yummy food like donuts and stuff at Relay, but I will have the food police (my dad) on hand :)

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NOW WAIT JUST A DANG MINUTE HERE. I AM STUCK ON THIS DAMN ATKINS DIET AND I AM FANTASIZING ABOUT THE LAYS POTATO CHIP COMMERICAL RIGHT NOW BUT I CAN GO FOR CHEESECAKE TOO BUT I DON'T WANT ANY TURTLES ON MINE. I GET ENOUGH MEAT ON THE DIET ITSELF.

SEND THE CHEESECAKE TO UPSTATE NY AND INSULATE IT WELL CAUSE ITS HOTTER THAN THE UNDERSIDE OF MY DADS BELLY ON A SUMMER DAY RIGHT NOW.

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First, Katie I agree.

Second, Becky, ten dollar fine for lying about the cheesecake (trail mix my butt). Cheesecake is my downfall. Did you know you can order the real stuff online from the Carnegie Deli in New York?

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Carnegie Deli in NY, that reminds me of a story. When I was in college on a break my mom and I took the train into Manhattan from Long Island to walk around, shop, and see the tree. We went to Carnegie Deli, at least I think it was Carnegie, it was one of the famous NY delis, and a bagel with lox and creamchease was $18, so we left :) heeheehe.

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Katie,

I totally agreee about watching what forum you're in. It is an entirely different world for caregivers. especially at the end.

I wanted to post there so very much the last 2 mos. of Chris' life, but didn't dare ask the questions or vent as I needed to then for fear of being labeled insensitive to cancer patients.

Like I said above, caregivers needs are very different than the patients.

Debbie

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I agree with a lot of things that have been said. I would like to make one point. I would shy away from ever saying one person's situation is better or worse than another's. Becky and I a year ago or so wanted to start a forum for younger folks because they might have some different issues - having small children, wanting to preserve fertility, etc. And there was a lot of talk about that being divisive that I frankly still don't understand. A couple of weeks ago one of the other widows made a comment about wishing she had a five year old to keep her busy. Don't remember who, though, so maybe it was a he. It was in response to me posting earlier that week about how it is helpful to have Katie around because her needs are immediate. But that comment really hurt me a lot. The worst part of the last seven weeks has been watching it sink in to Katie that mommy's not coming home and hearing her talk about Becky in the past tense. For somebody to wish for that was a kick in the pants - and the front, not the back.

Anyway, the point is that I try very hard to steer clear of any kind of debate as to which is worse - this or that. Bottom line, if its cancer, it sucks. This is the hardest, scariest, nastiest beast any of us will ever battle, and whether we are survivor, caregiver, parent, or child doesn't change that it sucks, and it is just impossible to tell if any is "worse"

Curtis

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Here's what I know--being able to find this site a year ago and watch and post and see others battling all this and winning, or not winning, but still fighting the fight, saved me from a nervous breakdown over the past tough, tough year.

I really don't know what the dispute is about and don't want to know, but I sure would miss this board if the people who do such a fine job of running it (Katie and Rick) get disillusioned and decide it's not worth it.

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