Guest MomOTwins43 Posted May 25, 2003 Share Posted May 25, 2003 First of all, let me say right off the bat that I know I have absolutely NO RIGHT to even be posting this message. Why you ask? Because after reading some of the stories here, I'm not in too bad shape for someone with lung cancer. 1 week ago my doctor told me I am in remission, to go home and enjoy the summer and try to forget about cancer. See you in three months for repeat scans. Well, you'd think I'd be elated, right? All through treatment I kept telling myself, you will beat this, you will beat this. Now that appears I just might, I have hit rock bottom! All I can do is lay around and cry all day, praying and reading everything I can get my hands on about anxiety, depression, God, you name it! I'm on anti-depressant (wellbutrin, tried paxil, zoloft, prozac) and xanax for anxiety, I'm seeing a counselor once a week, I've tried several support groups, nothing is working (by the way, I've been doing all this between my last scans and my results, about 9 weeks now). I KNOW I HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE DEPRESSED! I could do anything I want, if I would just make myself. My husband is getting tired of it and my children are starting to notice. I keep going over the scenario of recurrence, more treatment, death, my funeral, my children alone with no mother, on and on and on. I can't take much more. I don't understand why this is happening, I'm not as bad off as some people, why can't I just stop????? I would rather be taking chemo! Did this happen to anyone else and what did you do to fight it? Veronica P.S. thanks and sorry this is so long. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam'swifeShirley Posted May 25, 2003 Share Posted May 25, 2003 Hi Veronica, What you're going through is not at all uncommon at this stage of the game but I know that knowing that doesn't help much. Are you seeing a psychiatrist or just a counselor. You probably do need to be seeing a psychiatrist if you are not. Depression is almost always responsive to the right combination of medications and counseling support these days. In severe cases, like it seems yours is, sometimes two different antidepressants are used at the same time, like Welbutrin and Celexa. It WILL get better so hang in there and come here often. We'll do all that we can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 25, 2003 Share Posted May 25, 2003 What you're going through is not at all uncommon at this stage of the game but I know that knowing that doesn't help much. Actually, Sam, it DOES help to know that I'm not losing my mind. Thanks alot for your reply. My counselor gave me some names of psychiatrists and I'll be calling them on Tuesday. Thanks again, Veronica Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted May 25, 2003 Share Posted May 25, 2003 Veronica, anyone with cancer or a caregiver of one with cancer who says they are not depressed, in my bokk, is a liar or in denial. It is like a ton of bricks that keep falling on you. Now that you have stopped chemo, you are probably saying in your mind -- if I'm not fighting it, it might come back! Those of us who have had cancer know that it can always come back, so we can either get on with life or become a basket case. I chose, with my own bout and with my wife's, to chose to get on with it. I hope you will chose to do the same. There is a lot of life yet to be lived == a lot to give and a lot to receive. Blessings to you! Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdaW Posted May 26, 2003 Share Posted May 26, 2003 Dear Veronica, I am so happy to see you posting again. I've been wondering about you. What a thrill it is to learn that your cancer responded to treatment. Thank God. That's really wonderful news. Regarding your current fears. I think you should not be so judgemental, Veronica. You are really hard on yourself, you know. You have come through a life threatening situation. With all of this comes the fear of it happening all over again. I would say that it's pretty natural for you to be thinking along these lines. You've gotten some good advice from Dr. Sam. Schedule an appointment to talk to a Psychiatrist. Hopefully he or she will help you gain the skills you need to live a full life as a cancer survivor, because that's what you are. Hooray for Veronica! I hope you post again soon. Ada Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marie Posted May 26, 2003 Share Posted May 26, 2003 Hi Veronica, I agree with the others, you would have to be crazy to not be depressed. But you can't stop living because of it. Celexa has helped me quite a bit. There's a lot of life out there, go enjoy it and save your tears for inbetween the fun. Please try. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mirrell Posted May 26, 2003 Share Posted May 26, 2003 hi, i can only imagine your anxiety, and i think after this diagnosis, it is only normal. too many people live in the future instead of in the now. try to take it one day at a time, good and bad. i am thinking of you and hoping you feel better soon. mirrell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LindaMRG Posted May 26, 2003 Share Posted May 26, 2003 Hi Veronica, First, let me say I AM SO HAPPY you responded to your treatment!!!! My father has lung cancer now, but two years ago right after he was declared in remission with the lymphoma I began having panic attacks, something that hadnt happened to me in years - and I wasnt the one who had cancer, he did. It never happened through both his bouts of lymphoma, stem cell transplant, etc. Youd have thought I could rest easier now that he was in remission. Suddenly I couldnt sleep at night, or couldnt stay asleep all night, and obsessed about my death, etc. Im not a psychologist but I think when you are actively fighting something you feel like you are doing something and then when its done, you feel like now you have to worry about it coming back. Its good you are seeking help, thats a great step. I know from your other posts you are religious so keep praying. I have lots of prayers I would love to share if you are interested- just let me know. Those prayers and this board are my rock. Keep praying and coming here for support. Dont say you have no right to complain. You have every right to share how you are feeling because you never know when that will be the post that will inspire someone and they will see themselves in it, like I did with this one. Im praying for everyone on this board, so know you are among them!! Linda SPECIAL DAD, age 63, dx 5/03 adeno IIIa finally seeing onc 5/28 for plan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.