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another update on us


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Hi everybody. This will likely be my last post from Nacogdoches, as we are loading up the truck tomorrow night and driving off on Saturday. Katie is excited about living in San Antonio and is excited about the new house, but she has not processed that she will no longer be living in the old house or Nacogdoches. So I fear this will be traumatic for her. But given what she's been through in her little life, this is just a small little hurdle. I am sure that within a couple of weeks she will love her new school and be pretty much adapted. My mom is taking her tomorrow straight from school to my aunt's house - they are having a mass baptism. All three of my cousins in that family had children within nine weeks of each other, so they are all getting dunked together Saturday. Katie loves babies, so she is excited. And so we will save packing her stuff until tomorrow. That way, she doesn't see her stuff going into the box, and by the time she gets to SA, her room is all set up.

I hope you like the new picture. It was taken during spring break, 11 days before Becky died. Just further proof that she was never dying of cancer, she was living with cancer.

I am doing better as the days roll by. I drove to SA on Tuesday to close on the new house, and it was easily the best day I have had since Becky died. I put a CD in the car that was one of her favorites, and it got me reminiscing. It is a live CD of a great band called Great Big Sea, singing Newfoundlander folk music. It is really fun stuff. And the album came out in 1999, right before we were taking a cross-country drive. My brother-in-law was living in Colorado Springs, and we were driving from Tallahassee to see him, stopping in Nashville, St. Louis, Kansas City, Hays, Wichita Falls, Dallas, and New Orleans along the way. And since the record stores in Tallahassee didn't carry much Newfoundlander folk music - impossible to believe, I know - we had to order the CD by mail, and then spent the last couple of days before the trip hoping it would get here before we left. And it did! So we spent the next 18 days on the open road singing about Lukey's boat or the night Pat Murphy died. Becky singing in the car is one my life's greatest accomplishments. She could not carry a tune in a bucket. My feeling is who cares? Singing is just a way of communicating your emotion and thinking, and is just fun. I cannot imagine not singing (of course, I am pretty good for a rank amateur). So over the course of years, I opened her up to at least singing in the car, and never visibly winced when the note was god-awful. And by the time we had GBS's live album, in which most every song is a great audience participation song, we were ranting and roaring like true Newfoundlanders all through the country. So as I put the CD on again Tuesday, I remembered all of that, and they were memories that made me smile and sing and do very little crying. So I am getting better.

I went and played tennis with one of my classmates on Tuesday, and then she suckered me into going to a mixer for the Adventure Club of San Antonio. It is a group for singles, but explicitly not a dating group. They do a lot of activities like volleyball and softball, rock climbing and tubing along the Guadalupe River. They also have ballroom and CW dancing, which is way too close to dating to be for me yet. But I can see dragging my fat butt out to play some volleyball and meet some folks that way. Deno is a great influence for me; we are the dearest of friends and she can challenge me to do things like this but is also sensitive enough to not challenge me too far. (And, for neither the first nor the last time, I said a prayer of thanks to the man who invented the tennis skirt. :shock: )

So we went to Joe's Crab Shack, which is a pretty cool place. I had only been to one once before, when my brother and his wife took Becky and I very soon after we had moved from Florida. The food is pretty good and it is a festive place. One of the things they do is play crazy songs like the Macarena and all of the wait staff gets dancing to it. We had a good looking waiter and Becky was smitten with him. And so he gets shaking his booty - (don't want to give the wrong impression, it is pretty tame and clean; we had Katie with us without being uncomfortable in the least) - and Becky's jaw about hits the table and she is slobbering all over herself. Very much out of character for the very modest and proper girl we all loved, and she hadn't had a drink in six years at the time, so she was sober. But it was great for me. I got to mock her all night. And everytime the waiter came to the table, she was flustered and pink. And then when we got home, well, we are all adult enough to know. :D

This trip to Joes was not as fun as the first one, to be sure, but it was a nice time. Some of the people clearly are not following the "it is not in good taste to hit on the other members" rule, but they are plenty obvious, so it is not hard to steer clear. And Deno and I had a pretty decent system; if somebody hinted at romantic, then we would grab arms for a second and make it look like we were somewhat a couple. It wasn't a big deal for me, but Deno was still wearing her tennis skirt and every guy who'd had two beers and wasn't interested in the above rule made his way over at some point. I signed up for three months, figuring I would play at the tennis mixers and on the softball team. By the end of three months, school will be in full swing again, so I have a built-in excuse if I want to bail.

So Tuesday was a day when I got to tell some of my favorite Becky stories, especially some that I don't want to tell to our parents. And I was able to do so for the most part without getting weepy.

Katie and my new address will be 10919 Crown Park, SA, TX 78239. I will be getting DSL at the new place, so I will have more consistent access to the site once we get settled. Know, as always, that you are all in my prayers. And if you are going to be in San Antonio about five o'clock on Saturday, you are more than welcome to come help us unload the Ryder. Then jump into the pool.

Curtis

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Curtis...my heart is so happy to "hear" a cheerful note in your voice. Many of us have to go on just because of survival! You have a very special reason to continue on....you're little angel Katie!!! I know that Becky is smiling down on you and guiding you through this difficult journey!!! Best of luck on the move and please keep us posted!!!

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I picked a townhouse for the exact reason of having a pool, playground, barbecue, and so on. And the best part is I have to take care of none of them. So it is win win win.

Don't even go to the bikinis. I am still recovering from the tennis skirt. My ticker couldn't take it.

Curtis

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Curtis,

Sounds like your on the road to healing. Your little girl is adorable. With 3 kids myself, I know why you would be worried about her and the transition, but one thing ive learned is that kids always bounce back. And alot quicker than adults too. I dont think God lets them stay sad or angry for very long...after all your only a kid once. Post when your all setteled in., we love hearing from you

Jamie

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curtisg,

It was really great to read your update, and see the new photo.

Sounds like the best plan to move a child -- I think when I was 5 my folks did the same thing, off to an aunt's.....

I'm really glad you're finding a way to meet people and do things in SA. Gladder still you have good friends already there.

I hope Katie likes it there as much as you do.

Good luck with the move!

XOXOX

Prayers, always,

MaryAnn

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Curtis,

So happy to hear that all is going well for you and Katie. Wishing you and Katie the best in your new home. Stay happy and just love one another and everything else will fall into place. You and Katie are in my prayers each day.. Becky is watching over both of you with love...

Blessings,

Love the picture of Becky and Katie,

Karen

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Cutis-

Well, you did it again.... YOU MADE ME SMILE!! Your stories are wonderful. It sounds like you are adjusting to your new life with grace and a great sense of humor. I like the idea of having Katies bedroom all set up when she reaches the new home.... excellent planning on your part! I am sure Becky is very proud of how you are handling things and she is probably laughing out loud everytime you glance at one of the tennis skirts!!! Best of luck - and keep in touch. Sharon

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Well, the stuff is in the house, and Katie's room is pretty much unpacked, but that is about it. The master bedroom is just stuffed with boxes; my room is less cluttered but not too organized. And I am exhausted. So most everything will stay until tomorrow. If I didn't know I had to do this again in three years, I would swear I am never doing this again.

Curtis

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Curtis,

I know you are a great daddy for Katie. I am sure her room will be perfect by the time you get finished setting it up. Keep posting, it was so nice to hear you tell of your happy memories of Becky. She would want you to heal and get on with your life. I hope you and Katie are very happy in SA.

Nina

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Dear Curtis,

Thank you for keeping us updated and for the beautiful new photo of Becky and Katie. My heart filled with both happiness and sadness from your update. What wonderful memories you have to cherish. Blessings to you and that sweet girl. Please let us know how you are doing in SA. Sorry I won't be able to help with the move - not fond of the tarantulas in the Lone Star State. :)

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Curtis,

Thank you so much for the update. It means so much to all of us to know that you are Katie are doing well. Thank you for making us smile (as Sharyn pointed out).

I'm sure you are tuckered out with the move. Drop us a line when you are settled in and have had time to rest and adjust.

Melinda

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