Stigmas---COULD BE OFFENSIVE, WARNING WARNING

[Andrea]

Ok, I posted my warning in the subject that this could offend, so hopefully no backlash. I just wanted to share an interesting conversation I had with someone at work this morning. I gave a co-worker a tote and we were talking about diseases, etc and she brought up a point I had trouble counterarguing.

Lung cancer is not the only disease with a negative stigma (smoking).

She pointed out that:

Heart Disease---people always ask did the person exercise? eat right? were they overweight? Totally excluding from the group people like my inlaws close family friend who died of a heart attack suddenly while running a marathon and was in great physical condition.

Diabetes--was the person overweight? did they eat right? did they exercise? Making it seem less sympathetic for people who despite doing everythign right, still have issues. Unlike my mom who did not take good care of her diabetes and control her weight and sugar like she should

Liver cancer--did the person drink? well, liver cancer is not just a drinker's disease.

Lymphoma--here in CA a question is did you live near power lines or go to Beverly Hills High school?

Skin cancer--did the person sunbathe a lot?

All of this led me to believe that we just label things. And perhaps LC is associated with smoking b/c it effects sooooo many people and many people smoke. Just like heart disease is associated with weight, many are overweigh tand many have heart problems.

So then we concluded that NO MATTER WHAT we do we have risk

Eat a piece of cake? gotta watch the diabetes, heart, etc.

Don't eat a piece of cake? you can be grouchy and moody and unhappy which effects your body negatively

Get fresh air? be careful of the sun, it does damage. Also the smog andsmoke in the air

Stay indoors? Not good for you, better to be outdoors.

Wine? too much alcohol can lead to liver problems. but just a bit can help with your heart

Morale of story we ended our conversation with:

1. Do what you enjoy to do, and try to do a bit of everything in moderation

2. Conversing about issues which there are no answer to is a lot more fun than working

[Lyn]

Good post and good points made, Andrea. It was not offensive at all (to me anyway). And, BTW, I like and appreciate your humor and your posts.

Lyn

[jamie]

Andrea,

So very true. I know when I tell people my Dad has LC, they always ask..."Smoker?" when I say yea, they just kind of shake their heads. I guess that just makes it our job to point out that yes, smoking most probably causes the most LC, but there are a TON of people effected by this disease who never smoked. Somehow I feel like they lose a little sympathy for LC patients who "did it to themselves"...I Hate that!!!!

Jamie

[Snowflake]

Different response here...(not to YOU, Andrea, to the stigma)..

When I say I HAD lung cancer, I get the "did you smoke?"... When I say I didn't, the NEXT question is "Did you live with a smoker?" SOOOOO, if the whole damn thing is not MY fault, it has to be someone close to me that did it... Yeah, my dad was a smoker - and he has "paid" for the habit financially and with a triple bypass and a cancer of his own (lung cancer isn't the ONLY cancer caused by something considered a "carcinogen") AND now he's to blame for MY cancer??? I don't flipping think so! I find THAT even more annoying than someone assuming cancer is "deserved" due to smoking on MY part! In fact, it p*sses me right off! (and that ain't pretty)

I guess my crusade is secondhand smoke - what anyone puts in their body that is bad for them is their own business...but don't share it with me! If ya ain't gonna give me a bite of your chocolate cake, I sure don't want to breathe in the ol' toxic fumes from your cancer stick...

Boy, am I having a p*ssy day or what?? Stay out of range, the tongue is sharp and the brain is slow...

Becky

[Andrea]

They say that about my mom, she stopped 25 years ago, different debates about whether her risk was still high. Then we get.....well did she work around smokers......what was the environment like.....etc. etc.

My vote is not to ban smoking, but to ban it from all public areas. Just like I will not shove a donut down someone's throat, I don't want smoke. I don't care if anyone smokes, just not in my face.

And I am sooooooooooo tired of having to preface lung cancer with "well she stopped smoking 25 years ago". As if she deserved it. I have no idea if this is even true, I don't remember much of 25 years ago, but I argue that "well 25 years ago we didn't know smoking was taht bad for you anyway".

STupid stigmas.

[Snowflake]

Andrea,

I remember more from 25 years ago than you 'cuz I'm a few years older...I could read before you could and I often quizzed my father on why he smoked when the package said it was bad for him... (25 years ago, I was 10)

But that's beside the point....I don't care if people smoke in public - as long as they don't exhale!

Along with rights come responsibilities...it's just the way life works. I have the right to state my opinion, but some of the responsibility is dealing with the consequence inflammatory comments may bring...

Time for some nice pills...I'm feeling rabid...foaming at the mouth and snapping... Don't know what happened today, but something SNAPPED in my "nice" quotient - guess it was the butt-chewing at lunch time from one of my two bosses...lol... AHHHH, the comforting stress of a faltering economy and job force... May not be long before I'm asking, "Would you like fries with that?"!!

[JoniRobertWilson]

Great! You guys crack me up!

Let me tell you this in response to the post...last night, I'm sitting at my son's soccer game (he's and the lady next to me is talking about fitting in all her appoinments into the next day, yada yada...then says her mom-in-law has lung cancer. She says well, you know she kinda brought it on herself, smoking for x amount of years, 3 packs a day....I thought I'd explode seeing how my husband (41) is sitting at home battling this desease. I just said, in a nice voice "that is counter productive to hear for LC patients" and she said something like well she better quit smoking and I said "yes, she probably should but that would be her choice". I wanted to say we ALL have some nasty habits that causes our bodies stress, overeat, drive too fast, drink too much, too much stress, no exercise, etc. Does it really matter why someone we love has LC? I guess in my mind, no, they've got it and we've got to fight and none of us needs that! I'm amazed at the insensivity of others!

[Andrea]

Becky,

I hear ya, I almost quit my job yest and went to work for ACS, they have a position open in my area to run 5 Relays. $20k paycut, but how rewarding and cool would that be????? A job I like??? As my boss is screaming at me now literally on the phone and I am typing this........

Ok, she is done......now I forgot what I was going to say, hold on. Ok, now I know I am 32, not much younger than you And I have a vague memory of complaining of the smoke smell. But I still am not sure if it was as big an issue back then or more comiing into light.

Sort of like my grandparents, they grew up on pastrimi and cornbeef and lived till their 90s. Never watched butter intake or anything. Then again, portions were smaller.

I say write a law to smoke only in private areas, and away from children. If they are now banning tanning beds for those under 18 in California (well potentially, it is being voted on), een with parent permission, how is subjecting them to smoke any different? Hmmm:)

[stand4hope]

Frankly, I don't care what anybody thinks about whether my husband smoked or didn't smoke. I just flat don't care what they think. They're going to think what they want to think, no matter what I think, so why should I think about it?

Peggy

[Fay A.]

Peggy,

One of the reasons why we need to be concerned about what others think about this subject is that what they think may color how they treat those of us who have Lung Cancer. If they work at the local department store it isn't a big deal. If they're our medical provider, or work in the hospital where we have scans, etc. then it can be a very big deal indeed.

Let me give you just one little example that happened to me personally.

In March of 99 I had been to my primary care physician about several health problems. I was a former smoker under a lot of stress, and when she asked me if I smoked I told her that I had quit, but there were times when I was sure tempted to light up again. She ordered a chest xray. So I had that done and several days later called for the results ( I was told I would be called if there was anything wrong.) She told me that she wasn't sure, but that they might need to do another xray, and that she would call me back. So I wait a day and call her back again. She tells me that it isn't important and we can discuss it at my next scheduled appointment (implying that there is no need for more studies.) During the next month I call the office and ask for the actual results...I'm told that she is out of town for 6 weeks due to a death in her family. I ask for someone else to see me (Military Hospital) and they tell me no. I tried to obtain a copy of the report and they just would not give it to me until my doc returns from her trip.

Fast Forward to the first week in May. I have extensive bleeding from the colon, and I am on a gurney in her office. She walks in the room with my chart and says "We need to order a more extensive study of your Lungs and Abdomen. Something showed up on your last Chest X-ray that warrants further investigation." (It had been more than two months since the xray was done.) I am hit with a belly pain that feels like I have a cat with extended claws sliding down the inside of me, and I grimaced. She said, and this IS a direct quote, but I can't recreate her heavy sarcastic tone of voice "Still want a cigarette?"

I was stuck with this person as my Primary Care Manager for the next 21 months.

The unofficial official position of the Hospital Commander at that time was that no one in uniform would be allowed to smoke, even in designated smoking areas. And he apparently carried his rabid anti-smoker (he appeared to be incapable of separating anti-smoking from anti-smoker) policy to anyone who had what he felt to be a smoking related illness, whether that person was currently smoking or not. His position on smoking and smoking related illnesses set the tone for very poor medical care for anyone who had ever made the mistake of having started smoking, no matter when they stopped.

In many ways the Military is a closed society, so these folks felt comfortable saying the things they said and doing the things they did because most of the time it's never going to be known outside of the military. But in the civilian sector, though less common, this kind of discrimination is more insidious.

Please, do not assume that I mean ALL military medical providers or civilian medical providers think like this or do this kind of thing. That is not what I said. But there are enough of them out there that we should be concerned and vigilant. For our own sakes as well as that of others.

[stand4hope]

Fay, Thank you for the nice long post and I understand where you are coming from and couldn't agree more. I think, though, that my comment was maybe a misunderstood.

I do think that if smokers or former smokers are treated differently, i.e., why bother? then something is very wrong with that and that needs to be changed. All I meant was that nobody on here, not even never smokers, can deny the fact that smoking is the number one cause of lung cancer, but of course there are other causes. My husband DID smoke and was a heavy smoker but hasn't smoked for about 30 years. Since smoking is the No. 1 cause, I don't think we should get too upset with people that ask us if we smoked or if they smoked because most of them don't mean it to be offensive - they just KNOW it is the primary cause. I have only had one person ask me if my husband smoked, and he is a smoker, so I know he didn't mean it in an offensive way - it's just that lung cancer and smoking do kind of go hand-in-hand. When I said I didn't care what they think, I was referring to the average Joe that is a never smoker and has the attitude that the smoker brought it on themselves. We can talk ourselves blue in the face but we are never going to change the attitude of this type of self-righteous person, whether they be a doctor, lawyer or Indian chief. A relative of mine is a recovering alcoholic and she compared it to a man who had achieved his one-year mark of sobriety and was of course quite thrilled. When he mentioned it at a family gathering, a 70-year old female relative who had no compassion for his problem said, "Well, I don't know what the big deal is - I've been sober for 70 years."

As to the type of people I just described - I STILL don't care what they think. They can kiss my hiney fanny as far as I'm concerned. Sorry if that offends anyone - and Fay I really do appreciate your post and know how much you've been through, and just want you to know that I admire you and I admire your fighting spirit.

I've got to go know - my dad is dying as I type this from severe COPD - a heavy smoker most of his life.

Love,

Peggy

[Andrea]

I just saw this randomly while reading lungcancer.org and it fit this post

I am cutting and pasting

<< Links Specific to Lung Cancer | General Links for Support & Information >>

>> Click here for ordering information

100 Questions & Answers About Lung Cancer

Highlighted Questions

>> How do I go about getting a second opinion?

>> How do I cope with the stigma of having a “self-inflicted” disease? Should I feel guilty about my smoking? What if I never smoked- how do I cope with having a “smoker’s disease?”

>> What should I tell my children about my lung cancer? What if my children are grown?

>> What do caregivers need to know to best support a person with lung cancer?

>> What insurance and financial concerns do I need to address following a lung cancer diagnosis?

Authors’ Statement

Karen Parles, MLS

Joan Schiller, MD

100 Questions & Answers About Lung Cancer was written for patients and family members who have been affected by lung cancer and need straightforward answers to their questions. People diagnosed with lung cancer face extraordinary emotional, physical, and practical challenges. Although these challenges can seem overwhelming at times, they are not insurmountable - living with lung cancer can be made easier with information, support, and hope. In our book, 100 Questions & Answers About Lung Cancer, we give you the information and tools you need to cope with your diagnosis and put yourself in the best position to survive your disease. We explain lung cancer and its related issues in an understandable way, help you learn which questions to ask your doctors, and identify additional resources that you can use to extend your knowledge and locate support services. It was our privilege to work together, as a doctor and lung cancer survivor, to create a book that will help you to cope better with your disease. We hope you will find the contents of 100 Questions and Answers About Lung Cancer useful.

Highlighted Question

How do I go about getting a second opinion?

Unless you require emergency care, you should try to get a second opinion before starting treatment. Your doctor can advise you on how long you can afford to delay treatment. In the majority of cases, a few weeks won’t make a difference to your health, and it makes sense to consider all options before making any treatment decision. There are also occasions after you have begun treatment when you may want to seek a second opinion; for example, if your disease is progressing and you are re-evaluating your treatment plan.

To guarantee an independent perspective, it is a good idea to seek a second opinion from a doctor associated with a different institution than your original doctor. Many insurance companies will pay for second opinions, but it may be worth paying out of pocket for a second opinion from a particularly well-qualified specialist, even if he or she is outside your plan. Arranging for a second opinion involves some logistics. You need to gather your medical records - including all reports and scans – to bring with you for your second opinion visit. You also will need to get your pathology slides. A second pathology opinion is typically part of the second opinion process. If you are satisfied with your care but would just like to confirm your pathology, this can be done easily without an office visit. The Armed Forces Institute of Pathology is considered a leading pathology lab for second opinions. You can contact AFIP by phone at 202-782-1630, or via their website at www.afip.org.

How do I cope with the stigma of having a “self-inflicted” disease? Should I feel guilty about my smoking? What if I never smoked- how do I cope with having a “smoker’s disease?”

Your emotions following your lung cancer diagnosis are likely to be complicated by your feelings about smoking. If you were an active smoker, you may experience feelings of guilt. If you never smoked, or if you had stopped smoking years before, you may be shocked that you have been diagnosed with a smoking-related disease. This personal conflict over smoking is often exacerbated by the reactions of those around you and by the lack of public support for people with lung cancer. Some family members and friends may be angry with you for having caused your own disease. When acquaintances learn of your lung cancer, you may get tired of hearing the inevitable question, “Did you smoke?” And it is devastating to discover that the support services, media coverage, and fundraising events that are routine for other major cancers are rare for lung cancer. This lack of public empathy and support is demoralizing and adds additional stress to the challenges you face.

It is important to let go any feelings of guilt. Guilt over smoking wastes energy that could go toward fighting your disease. Keep in mind that over 90% of smokers begin smoking as teenagers, at an age when the risks and addictive nature of nicotine cannot be fully comprehended. The tobacco companies continue to play an unconscionable role in perpetuating this deadly addiction among young people. In addition, they have specifically manufactured their cigarettes to be highly physically addictive.

One productive step you can take to help de-stigmatize this disease is to use whatever opportunities you have to put a face on lung cancer. Do not be afraid to speak up and identify yourself as a lung cancer survivor. The public needs to know that lung cancer affects everyone – mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, and loved ones, young and old. It is easy to ignore lung cancer when “smokers” are cited as its victims. A “smoker” is an abstract notion, not a person with a life-threatening disease, worthy of caring and support. People with lung cancer have names, faces, and families, and they deserve the same respect afforded other cancer survivors.

[Elaine]

Andrea

I do think the stigma surrounding LC is worse, or should I say more prevalent--plus it is loaded with more anger and/or indifference to the patient. I think that is true for a number of reasons. One being that the connection between smoking and lc is so well publicized, to the exclusion of the fact that it can't just be smoking that causes it--there must also be some genetic cause or else all smokers would get it. Secondly, it is PC and commonly acceptable to show animosity towards smokers, not cigarettes or their makers, but the smoker. Funny how the tobacco industry got itself nearly off the hook with that one.

You see, in this country it is ok to make money; money any way one can make it seems to be great as long as it is not dealing drugs. Well, darn, nicotine IS a drug.

You also say that people should do what they want as long as they do it in moderation. There is ample evidence that cigerette manufacturers made smoking in moderation nearly impossible with the way in which they "controlled" nicotine and other substances in their product. Cig. were/are designed to make certain that they were as addictive as possible.

But is is easier to blame smokers. They are so much more visible. It is hard for people to find compassion or concern for others who have been relegated as undesirable by the culture (media etc)--Think about welfare moms etc. It is easy to blame the victim when you don't even want to be around them.

I am not trying to rid myself of all responsibilty for my disease--I wish I could, but I am trying to live with putting it into its proper perspective and hope that we can convince others to share this perspective so that a cure can be found and compassion can be given to those of us who fell into, and remained in, the trap of tobacco.

Elaine

[Connie B]

Just 2 cents worth here!

I have talked with MANY different Doctor's and ALL of them has said,

"SMOKING ISN'T THE ONLY CAUSE OF LUNG CANCER" It is a Contributing Factor, but not the Cause. In other words, you can NOT get lung cancer JUST from or by SMOKING! Hense, the non smokers have sadly learned.

In my Lung Cancer Support Group I have learned that this is the ONLY place a Lung Cancer Patient can come and NO ONE ASKES them DID YOU SMOKE? The reason for that is, WE DON'T CARE IF THEY DID OR NOT!

We're there to support one another and that's all that matters. I want my members to feel SAFE when they come to a meeting and not feel JUDGED.

This is a great conversation kids! It does get the blood flowing!!

Love you guys/girls!

[osirus226]

I just wanted to share my two cents as well. I sometimes find myself getting angry at people when I tell them my mother has LC and the next thing that leaves there lips is "Did she smoke"? I know they probably dont mean it to be ignorant, but I do take it personally. An interesting little tidbit that I just read recently is that 70% of smokers want to quit but less than 5% succeed each year. (www.thetruth.com) Why is it that there isnt more help out there for the people who want to quit? I agree with Elaine's comments about nicotine being a drug and the govt being all fine and well with it, to me its just like the cost of prescription drugs. I do not understand why prescriptions cost so much.. Does anything cost as much as Iressa? Do they know what it is in cigarettes that is found to cause LC?

Kelly

[Debaroo]

My friends father was recently diagnosed with lung cancer. She is estranged from him, he left the family for another woman a long time ago. This friend told me that she had told her mother (who has been divorced from the guy for 30+ years) that if her father makes any mention about his 'poor wife' and kids from his second marraige, she couldn't make any promices that she would not have 'words' with him...her mother got angry and said that she shouldn't say ANYTHING, that "the man has a terminal disease, he's being punished, he's dying of an awful disease" and so she thought her mom was right and wouldn't say anything... Now, me, being-well-me, I HAD to say something...like to hear it, here it goes:

"No offense to you or your mom but thats BullS$*#...my dad was a wonderful man, he was a great father and husband-and he got the same disease that your father has, and he died...and he did NOT DESERVE IT... In fact, I know hundreds of people, some pretty personally, that did not 'deserve' this disease. I know people that have survived it, and are still surviving it-and they never did anything to deserve 'payback' such as this. And as far as the whole 'fire and brimstone' and 'wrath of God, crap, it is just that, crap...your father got this diesease, because he got it...it has nothing to do with the fact that he isn't a good person. If God throws 'terminal' diseases and such to the bad guys, than either his aim is WAYYYYYYY off, or he's got really Crappy judgement...So, if you feel that you need to get a few things off of your chest as far as your father is concerned, do it. Please don't view the disease as punishment-there are way crappier people out there that are in great physical health (now, their spiritual is another story entierly)...now, if you don't want to confront your dad, thats fine, just don't use the fact that he's sick and that that is punishment enough as your reasoning. There is no rhyme or reason to who gets sick or why-if there were, than there'd be no 'bad' people in the world healthy enough to do their evil deeds."

Just my 2 cents worth. You guys are great...and I've missed you all. I'll be around more, but just know that I've thought of you all alot and you are all in my thoughts and prayers. Take care, and keep on keepin' on, Deb

[Elaine]

Kelly,

Yes the government is fine with the drug nicotine as it keeps tobacco farmers in business and tobacco lobbyists/manufacturers happy and rich--plus NOW govt gets the money off of the tobacco settlement to do just about anything they want with it! Funny how that works. And even more ironic is this: smokers still get the blame! Thus, the govts can add huge taxes to the cost of cigerettes! Wow! It's a win/lose proposition all the way around. And guess who the losers are?? The millions of millions of people who have been effected by smoke in one way or another--as family member or patient. The governmet wins, lobbyists win, and it is worth noting that no major cig manufacturer has gone out of business--hmmmm. What's up with that? The tobacco farmers? I haven't reserached it enough to know what their profit margin is. I do know they get government subsidy to grow the tobacco that kills and that makes me, a smoker, an undesirable.

Hemp can be grown anywhere that tobacco grows. And hemp is used to make products--and if you want I could go into how this country has turned from a manufacturing based economy to a service based economy and the economic dangers of this, but that would go on and on. Hemp is NOT a drug; it has no THC in it. The numbers of products that can me made from it is endless. Hemp used to be one of this nation's major crops until the REFFER MADNESS folks and the tobacco manufacturers chimed in.

Like I said in the post above: I am not without responsibility. However, one of governments' major responsibility is to protect its citizenry. Think: National Security. Think: FDA. Think: public roads. Think: on and on. I still don't understand why the government gets the money from the tobacco settlement.

Do you? We should sue the goverment for not protecting us--and even helping out in the fraud. But wait: the government can't be sued unless it agrees to be sued.

Crazy.

Don't think I am some kind of anti-goverment fanatic. I am not. I am a proud Democrat, not as proud as I once was, but definately a social liberal who votes and campaigns etc. I just think the government has failed us big time on this and it needs to rethink what it is and is not doing to fund research and programs to address the maize of problems created by the tobacco fiasco. And some of the fix needs to go into reserach to cure LC.

[Addie]

Being newly diagnosed and also new to this forum, I am learning fast that it's more than just the stigma of "Oh well, she smoked. What did she expect?" Worse, it's the lack of funding and research to seek a cure or at least more effective treatments for lung cancer.

Before my diagnosis, my internist suspected lymphoma. I can remember thinking to myself...."ANYTHING but lung cancer...because I don't want or need the additional burden of knowing what some others will think!"

Well...it is lung cancer. I quit the day of my biopsy, May 6th. Quite honestly, quitting was easier than I thought....but then wanting to survive and wanting treatment to work as well as possible.....have been powerful motivators for me. I've yet to need gum or the patch..but will use them if I need to.

And you know....I DID have to apologize to my husband and my sons and my best friend, who is my "sister of the heart". All of them told me not to....to forget about guilt and to concentrate on getting well. But I needed to tell them I am sorry....so that I COULD focus on the battle...because addicted or not....I knew better. I never even really tried to quit before. Guess I thought I was better than I am at dodging bullets.

I refuse to apologize to anyone else. There aren't that many people yet who even know....simply because I don't want to have to deal with the head shaking, the "I told her so" stuff or even any pitying looks.....you know?

But I'm starting to get angry too....at what I'm reading here....from those of you who've been fighting this whole thing for a while and who KNOW far better than I do yet....that there IS a sort of apathy out there about funding, research and a cure....simply because of a stigma or two that are NOT based in actual fact......ie: that lung cancer is a disease of smokers only AND that the smoker is the ONLY one responsible for why they continued to smoke.

Every time I read here of someone being given a diagnosis and then a time frame by their medical professional....it makes me mad on their behalf, too. Without hope.....what is there to hang onto? The dismal statistics, the apathy and the "I told you so's"? Bah on that!

Perhaps there are stigmas attached to other illnesses....and other forms of cancer. But nothing quite like those attached to lung cancer. And as others have already said, NOBODY deserves this disease.....in any form.

Life ain't fair. What goes around DOESN'T always come around....much as we might like to think it does. Bad guys win and good guys lose and maybe we aren't meant to understand it all anyway.

But we can continue to support one another and make noise about the truth of this disease and hope it does some good. Whether we smoked or not....we can hold our heads high and fight and surround ourselves with those people - medical or otherwise - who won't judge us more than they will support and help us.

The best way to fight a stigma is with truth!

[osirus226]

Elaine,

Unfortunately I find that I AM sort of anti-government. I can think of a million ways in which the system has failed myself as well as others. I have seen so many good people fall through the cracks. Its horrible.

Addie,

I think that no matter what, NOBODY deserves this disease. And I totally agree with you that sometimes what goes around doesnt come around. I think that there has to be a reason things are the way they are. Nobody should feel ashamed to tell people that they are sick because of the stigmas. I think its crazy the way our society can be.

I also cannot find the logic in the governments recieving the tobacco settlements. Shouldnt the people who are affected by the tobacco companies wrongdoings be entitled to that money? They could at least put some more money towards finding a cure instead of making small discoveries about using this with that and that with this. I do think that the medical community is working hard for a cure. I just think that there should be more funding put towards the main goal.

[jean44]

I have been to this site a few times since losing my Dad to lung cancer Oct. 14, 2004. I have read alot of the post but have never responded. After reading this topic I felt I had to respond. I too, get really upset when people has me if Dad smoked. Yes, he did smoke for quite a few years of his life. We lost him at 67 years. I loved him more than life itself and would have gladly traded places with him if I could have. I would have endured the suffering and everything not to see him go through it. I live with the pain of losing him everyday. He is gone. It does not matter how we lost him only that he is no longer here to share my life with me. I cry everday over the loss of Dad and have still not gotten over losing him. I do know when Dad was diagnosed he specifically ask his doctor IF smoking had caused his lung cancer and the doctor told him there was NO WAY he could 100% say that his lung cancer was caused from smoking. Like I said, either way it doesn't matter. He is gone, the loss is tremendous and my life will never be the same. God Bless and the best to everyone!