Snowflake Posted May 23, 2004 Share Posted May 23, 2004 Women are like apples on trees: the best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy....... So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along -- the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree. Share this with other women who are good apples -- even those who have already been picked! And remember ... Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamie Posted May 23, 2004 Share Posted May 23, 2004 So true! Espically the MAN part!!! Jamie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David A Posted May 24, 2004 Share Posted May 24, 2004 Wjy all the man bashing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamie Posted May 24, 2004 Share Posted May 24, 2004 Come on David, you have to admit its kindof true...before I met my husband, he was definitly not someone to take to dinner. Over the past 9 years I have taught him that it is not ok to stuff your cloth napkin in your shirt at a wedding....not ok to belch at the table at a reunion while sitting next to 97 year old Aunt Vern (no-she will not take it as a compliment). I can go on and on and on and ..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David A Posted May 24, 2004 Share Posted May 24, 2004 Jamie what is his last name, I know his first name is Bubba! My mother actually taught me a lot of thise things and the others I learned by watching gentlemen such as my granfather. So what is it like being married to a Bubba, got lots of spittoons around the house?(just joking) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaveGr Posted May 24, 2004 Share Posted May 24, 2004 Another David will speak up. My wife was at the top of the tree and I didn't mind climbing up to the top to get her. She didn't need to stomp the crap out of me to straighten me up, as I grew up in the 40's and 50's. My parents are part of the "Greatest Generation". We had dinner at 6, and the children had to sit and listen to the adults. We weren't excused from the table until we had "cleaned" our plates. We were reminded whose turn it was to do the dishes and no television until the dishes were done. (TV was in 2 colors - black and white. We never had to worry about language. Ozzie and Harriet, and all the others, slept in twin beds. When we played outside, we never had to worry if something happened, because if one of us fell off our bikes, or took a fall roller skating, and started crying, all the mothers on the block, would come runnig to see what happened.) So when my wife got me, I knew how to act at the dinner table. I had over 7 years in the Army, and had been to many formal military dinners. I knew the consequences of having a "food fight" in the mess hall. I had also helped many a buddy back to the barracks after a good night out (I will never admit that I had to get help every now and then.) So, to all the women, there are still a Few Good Men out there, and I am proud to say that I am one of them. I am expecting that I will get a vote of confidence from the other David and other men as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted May 24, 2004 Author Share Posted May 24, 2004 Okay, I'll speak up on behalf of my dear Cookieman (I SWEAR, you guys! Bash the blondes non-stop but a blonde posts a man-bashing joke and you're pissin' & moanin'!). I have a good one, this time around. He puts the lid down on the toilet and cooks. He helps me make the bed, goes grocery shopping, hands me his checkbook and accompanies me to all of my nasty-needle-stickin' appointments. He enjoys his messy food where even a beach towel wouldn't help sop up the barbeque sauce, but he cleans up nicely, as well. I keep him young, he keeps me happy. Balanced relationship... Shortcomings? Sure, he has a few, but if I list his, he'll surely list mine so we'll keep the peace there... Boy-o-boy, you guys can dish it out... I'm tellin' ya, if I took all those blonde jokes to heart, you'd BOTH (the Davids) have a horrible virus - and something wrong with your computer, too! Take care, Becky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaveGr Posted May 24, 2004 Share Posted May 24, 2004 Did I touch a tender spot Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted May 24, 2004 Author Share Posted May 24, 2004 David Grant, I think I touched a sore spot with you two babies! GEESH! Fight over dog/rat things, slam-a-blonde competition and someone posts a male-bashing joke and you're BOTH whining! Ya know, I'm gonna go find me some more of them thar male-bashing jokes... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David A Posted May 24, 2004 Share Posted May 24, 2004 now it is david bashing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David A Posted May 24, 2004 Share Posted May 24, 2004 snowflake are you blond? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fay A. Posted May 24, 2004 Share Posted May 24, 2004 David Gr.....it's nice to know that you're housebroken. Now about that little black dog..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaveGr Posted May 24, 2004 Share Posted May 24, 2004 David A: I'm with you, this is now David Bashing and I also think she is a blonde. Also, I think it is time to set aside all the things we have said abouteach others dog. The time has come to unite. While your dog is going after the upper anatomy, my dog will bite the Hell out of her ankles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted May 24, 2004 Author Share Posted May 24, 2004 Yes, Snowflake is a blonde...that's been mentioned before. (Thank goodness I'm not a David on top of that! LOL) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David A Posted May 25, 2004 Share Posted May 25, 2004 wow touchy aren't we snowflake? I would ask you to prove it but.............that you are blonde Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angie Daughter of Bill Posted May 25, 2004 Share Posted May 25, 2004 Well, Becky, one thing I can say for these two, David A. and G., they've got bal**! Send these two up to Mo........remember the festival?? She'll know exactly what to do with them. They won't be quite so brave when they get back. David and David...........I feel sorry for you.......you are about to catch the wrath of a Snowflake. (It is MUCH worse than it sounds!! ) Angie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted May 25, 2004 Author Share Posted May 25, 2004 Funny how two ol' men think that they need to band together against an itty-bitty young girl, and a BLONDE at that.... Really, boys... DavidA, if you have questions on the depth of my blondeness, you are more than welcome to ask my husband! (I double dawg dare you!) Dave Grant, I've dealt with ankle biters before and had a boss that was both a pain in the rear AND the neck at the same time....bring it on, female dogs are even better - I've worked with SOOOO many of 'em, no problem... Jeepers, you guys on your hackles...I WILL be visiting the joke vault to spring more male-bashing jokes, LOVE they way the veins pop out on your foreheads! Na-nah!! ROFL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaveGr Posted May 25, 2004 Share Posted May 25, 2004 David: You know, when I got married I never thought I would see the day that I would be sleeping with a 55 year old grandmother. These young women have much to look ahead to, like menopause. Luckily we don't have that to worry about. Fortunately my wife didn't have it bad, because the grandkids started arriving just about the same time. Grandkids have a way of making grandmothers forget many things. I am sure glad I won't be anywhere close to these two when the time comes. (Care to bet I touched on a real soft spot this time, David?) PS: I think I'll stand back and watch the fur fly now. Sounds like they don't know the difference between a man and a bull. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted May 25, 2004 Share Posted May 25, 2004 just wondering if your wife ever thought she would be sleeping with a grandpa or don't men age? Elaine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted May 25, 2004 Author Share Posted May 25, 2004 My dear Mr. Grant... As for when "The Change" will descend on me, and the balance of grandkids working it all out, let me inform YOU that at the age of 55, my husband will be sleeping with a 36 year old grandmother! That's right, I have a granddaughter who was born two days before my 35th birthday, a grandson due any day and another baby on the way in August... YOU LOSE! Only bull around here is the stuff these boots were made for wadin' in! (Sounds like you don't know when to quit...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaveGr Posted May 25, 2004 Share Posted May 25, 2004 See David, told ya, the fur would start flying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted May 25, 2004 Share Posted May 25, 2004 I guess the half a brain joke of Angie's is true. Seems Mr Grant didn't get my post. Elaine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted May 25, 2004 Author Share Posted May 25, 2004 'nads are next, big guy...think you can handle losing what's below that "fur"??? (GOOD observation, Elaine! LOL) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angie Daughter of Bill Posted May 25, 2004 Share Posted May 25, 2004 Dave G. We certainly know the difference between a man and a bull..........at the festival, I'm sure they would even accept "gifts" from a couple of men. It's not the fur flying that you need to worry about............. Angie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaveGr Posted May 25, 2004 Share Posted May 25, 2004 Thanks to both of you. You are good sports and it has been good to get away from cancer for the last few days, as I have tried to think of come backs. I will admit I have had fun, and, hopefully you two see it in the same light. Laughter is something we forget about, all too often, as we struggle with our individual journeys with lung cancer. Both of you keep smiling and keep having fun. David, you do the same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.