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Helping Snowflake with the two Davids.....

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O.K.............can't have the two Davids ganging up on Snowflake. (Although I think she is perfectly capable of handling it! :wink: ) Here ya' go Snowflake...............just helping you out.


Men Jokes

What do you call a man with half a brain?


What''s the difference between government bonds and men?

Bonds Mature.

What is the difference between a man and a catfish?

One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.

What did god say after creating man?

I can do better.

What do you have whan you have two little balls in your hand?

A man''s undivided attention.

What are two reasons why men don''t mind their own business?

1. No mind.

2. No business.

Why are men like laxatives?

They irritate the shi_ out of you.

What do you call an intelligent man in America?

A tourist.

What is gross stupidity?

144 men in one room.

What is a man''s view of safe sex?

A padded headboard.

How do men sort their laundry?

"Fifthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".

Only a man would buy a $500 car and put a $4000 stereo in it.

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Cha-ching!! Girls 2 - "MEN" - 0....

I am SOOO glad my husband can't remember jokes that well - I tell him all the best ones...wouldn't want HIS ammo on here blowing my butt out of the water!

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Just remember, women can't get pregnant without a man being involved. The last time that happened, there was a bright star in the East.

Also, remember who was first, without our ribs, you wouldn't be anywhere.

Another thing, fathers are very proud of their daughter's accomplishments, especially when the daughter becomes a doctor.

And another thing, the male determines the sex of the baby.

Hard to deny the truth, huh???!!!!

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Dave Grant,

Hard to believe my grampa was wrong! He ALWAYS said that young girls "got themselves pregnant"!

Ribs? Ya'll could spare one - you were made first as a rough draft, women were second and pure perfection...

...by the way, it's nice of you to fess up to those weeks of agony with swollen ankles, back aches and pinched bladders - everything IS a man's fault, so glad you pointed that out, kind sir!

Damn, I'm grouchy tonight...keep digging...

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Hey, try having a grapefruit extracted with salad tongs and see how the miracle of birth REALLY works :shock::shock::shock: .

I guess I was lucky - only the first of my three babies was delivered with forceps.

Whenever my husband, or any of my 3 boys, or either of the Davids get out of control, it always reminds me that we neuter male pets on order to get rational behavior. I guess there's no hope for men unless we're willing to get out the garden shears...

(And no, I'm not willing :wink: , though I do remind my husband it's never too late to get circumcised :shock: )

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Garden shears, Jen? You are TOO generous.... I was thinking something like a melon baller for the de-balling...snippin's too quick - need to stretch it out, like labor....26 hours to do it and they'll be beggin' for "more drugs" or to be hit by a train...

OR we can try the bottom lip over the head...

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Many years ago my father told me "that you have to pick your fights". He said "there are fights that you need to fight even though you know you won't win, there are fights that you don't want to fight even though you know that you will win, and there are those fights that you should just run away from, win or lose". I think you know where you stand with my "sweet little" snowflake. Don't think I don't take my shots at her, but I also take my lumps. Good luck. Keep trying.

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