Angie Daughter of Bill Posted May 25, 2004 Share Posted May 25, 2004 O.K.............can't have the two Davids ganging up on Snowflake. (Although I think she is perfectly capable of handling it! ) Here ya' go Snowflake...............just helping you out. Angie Men Jokes What do you call a man with half a brain? Gifted. What''s the difference between government bonds and men? Bonds Mature. What is the difference between a man and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish. What did god say after creating man? I can do better. What do you have whan you have two little balls in your hand? A man''s undivided attention. What are two reasons why men don''t mind their own business? 1. No mind. 2. No business. Why are men like laxatives? They irritate the shi_ out of you. What do you call an intelligent man in America? A tourist. What is gross stupidity? 144 men in one room. What is a man''s view of safe sex? A padded headboard. How do men sort their laundry? "Fifthy" and "Filthy but Wearable". Only a man would buy a $500 car and put a $4000 stereo in it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted May 25, 2004 Share Posted May 25, 2004 YES!! Cha-ching!! Girls 2 - "MEN" - 0.... I am SOOO glad my husband can't remember jokes that well - I tell him all the best ones...wouldn't want HIS ammo on here blowing my butt out of the water! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted May 25, 2004 Share Posted May 25, 2004 Oh boy, I can't wait for the long-winded defenses to each of these jokes. Methinks some Davids protest too much. Blonde and proud (and did you ever see me become defensive at one of your blonde jokes?? hmmm lol Elaine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaveGr Posted May 25, 2004 Share Posted May 25, 2004 Just remember, women can't get pregnant without a man being involved. The last time that happened, there was a bright star in the East. Also, remember who was first, without our ribs, you wouldn't be anywhere. Another thing, fathers are very proud of their daughter's accomplishments, especially when the daughter becomes a doctor. And another thing, the male determines the sex of the baby. Hard to deny the truth, huh???!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted May 25, 2004 Share Posted May 25, 2004 Dave Grant, Hard to believe my grampa was wrong! He ALWAYS said that young girls "got themselves pregnant"! Ribs? Ya'll could spare one - you were made first as a rough draft, women were second and pure perfection... ...by the way, it's nice of you to fess up to those weeks of agony with swollen ankles, back aches and pinched bladders - everything IS a man's fault, so glad you pointed that out, kind sir! Damn, I'm grouchy tonight...keep digging... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angie Daughter of Bill Posted May 25, 2004 Author Share Posted May 25, 2004 Becky I love it when you are grouchy!!!! Poor David A.......he will wake up in the morning and have no idea what Dave G. has gotten him into. Angie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted May 25, 2004 Share Posted May 25, 2004 I'm going to bed - I'll be even grouchier tomorrow on five hours of sleep! ARGH! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David A Posted May 25, 2004 Share Posted May 25, 2004 u women are mean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted May 25, 2004 Share Posted May 25, 2004 Thanks Dave G for speaking back.ut get some rest cause tomorrow with only 5 hours sleep(????????)Becky will be meaner than all heck.And you are right Angie she doesn't need any help.WHERE'S THE COOKIEMAN Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gerbil runner Posted May 25, 2004 Share Posted May 25, 2004 Hey, try having a grapefruit extracted with salad tongs and see how the miracle of birth REALLY works . I guess I was lucky - only the first of my three babies was delivered with forceps. Whenever my husband, or any of my 3 boys, or either of the Davids get out of control, it always reminds me that we neuter male pets on order to get rational behavior. I guess there's no hope for men unless we're willing to get out the garden shears... (And no, I'm not willing , though I do remind my husband it's never too late to get circumcised ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted May 25, 2004 Share Posted May 25, 2004 Garden shears, Jen? You are TOO generous.... I was thinking something like a melon baller for the de-balling...snippin's too quick - need to stretch it out, like labor....26 hours to do it and they'll be beggin' for "more drugs" or to be hit by a train... OR we can try the bottom lip over the head... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David A Posted May 25, 2004 Share Posted May 25, 2004 catch me if you can!!!!!!!!!nana na na na Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhutch1366 Posted May 25, 2004 Share Posted May 25, 2004 This must be what growing up with siblings would have been like, had I had siblings...... I love ALL you guys, the davids too...... but I'm really glad Becky's a girl which puts her automatically on my side. XOXOX MaryAnn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaveGr Posted May 25, 2004 Share Posted May 25, 2004 Definition: FRILLY-DILLY: a circumcision done with pinking shears. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted May 25, 2004 Share Posted May 25, 2004 Oh, Dave! That would be PRETTY! A "Man-Flower"!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted May 25, 2004 Share Posted May 25, 2004 And what a wonderful time some lucky lady would have deflowering that dilly!! Elaine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cookieman Posted May 25, 2004 Share Posted May 25, 2004 Gentlemen, Many years ago my father told me "that you have to pick your fights". He said "there are fights that you need to fight even though you know you won't win, there are fights that you don't want to fight even though you know that you will win, and there are those fights that you should just run away from, win or lose". I think you know where you stand with my "sweet little" snowflake. Don't think I don't take my shots at her, but I also take my lumps. Good luck. Keep trying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David A Posted May 25, 2004 Share Posted May 25, 2004 I just like getting Becky's goat is all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted May 25, 2004 Share Posted May 25, 2004 David, As an old sailor's daughter, I assure you, you'll NEVER get my goat! Keep trying, seems to make you happy... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted May 25, 2004 Share Posted May 25, 2004 Well put COOKIEMAN!!In other words slow typers like me should look befor we leap, GOTTCHA.Becky if COOKIEMAN can't then we can't but I'm sure a couple of us will keep trying,RIGHT DAVE AND DAVID. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gerbil runner Posted May 26, 2004 Share Posted May 26, 2004 DaveGr, I gotta tell my DH about that one! And Dave A, I run 16 miles a week. I'm sure I can catch you . Cookieman is showing lots of wisdom on this front . Snowflake, you've obviously taught him well. "If you can't quit while you're ahead, quit while you still HAVE a head". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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