S. Jane Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 What do you do when you know your parents need you more frequently than you can get to their house? My Dad has SCLC, limited stage, was in remission and is now completing PCI. He is tired of the house, yard, and the work associated with it. My Mom (78) has COPD and emphysema. I found an senior housing complex that has apartments, assisted living, and nursing home 5 minutes from me, there are also senior condos, and I offered to build an addition. My Dad would like to move. He has also told me he would like my Mom to be near me when he dies. My Mom absolutely doesn't want to live in my town, or an apartment, if she were to buy a house it would have to have oil heat and stained woodwork. She has no close friends, but enjoys activities such as sewing class, dance class, and her woman's club. She toys with moving to a new town that has people from her dance class living there. These people, while nice, are not supportive in the practical sense and in the 10 years she has been involved in these activities, have never seen her outside of the class/group. I am 45 minutes away from them. I tell her she would not have to give up all her activities, that I would even drive her to some if she needed. I also suggested that they move while Dad is in remission so they could add to their life with new people and social clubs. That way Mom might have some peer support when it gets tough for Dad (who is the more social one). I guess I pushed too much, because now Mom says the day she moves to my town is the day she won't be able to take care of herself. I know I need to step back, especially everytime it is brought up, my Dad and her have words. Anyone with a sick parent have this kind of problem? I must lack understanding of what my Mom is going through to have her totally reject the idea of living near me. I must admit, it hurts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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