Andrea Posted June 2, 2004 Share Posted June 2, 2004 I have not posted in awhile about my neurosis, but got a few questions about whether I still am. Yes, I am still a worry wart. And what better place to vent and share fears than in Family Members/Caregivers section I don't want this to freak people out, I know my obsessing is not normal, and hence I am posting this here and not in general. I found a poem on Pity Pot so I know I am not alone, every ache, every pain brings on a new set of fears. My mom is doing really well, recovering from her chemo, surgery, and then radiation. We were at the mall two Saturdays ago and I noticed she winced giong up a stair. Her rib area hurt. I freaked out b/c we all know what that could mean It is not on the same side of her incision. She thinks it was a muscle strain, her side feels much better she said, now it just hurts if she pushes in on the area. But still does that relieve my anxiety? Does the fact that just 3 weeks ago her CEA was ok relieve it? Nope :) We see oncologist June 9, 2004 so we will see what he says. But deep down there is such a fear inside of me.........this beast just can take over at any second. Sure she looks great and feels ok besides the usual cancer fatigue. But she felt fine before diagnosis! So I sat on the couch last night and cried. Then I cried b/c I felt guilty I was crying b/c who was I to cry when others are mourning. Then I cried more. Then Brian tickled me so I would stop crying and I tried to remain grumpy sad face, but the tickling made me laugh and I finished crying for last night at least Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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