Elaine Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 . How are husbands like lawn mowers? A. They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odours, and half the time they don't work. Q. How can you tell when a man is well hung? A. When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose. Q. How do men define a "50/50" relationship? A. We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle. Q. How do men exercise on the beach? A. By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini. Q. How do you get a man to stop biting his nails? A. Make him wear shoes. Q. How does a man show he's planning for the future? A. He buys two cases of beer instead of one. Q. What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant? A. Any place without a drive-up window. Q. What do you call a handcuffed man? A. Trustworthy. Q. What do you call the useless piece of skin on the end of a man's penis? A. His body. Q. What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner? A. A power failure. Q. What should you give a man who has everything? A. A woman to show him how to work it. Q. What do men and mascara have in common? A. They both run at the first sign of emotion. Q. What do men and pantyhose have in common? A. They either cling, run, or don't fit right in the crotch! Q. What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man? A. His wife is good at picking out clothes. Q. What's a man's definition of a romantic evening? A. sex. Q. What's a man's idea of honestly in a relationship? A. Telling you his real name. Q. What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups? A. Put the remote control between his toes. Q. What's the difference between Big Foot and intelligent man? A. Big Foot's been spotted a several times. Q. What's the smartest thing a man can say? A. "My wife says..." Q. Why can't men get mad cow disease? A. Because they're all pigs. Q. Why do men like smart women? A. Opposites attract. Q. Why do men name their penises? A. Because they don't like the idea of having a stranger make 90% of their decisions. Q. Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? A. Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened. Q. Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? A. Because if they all went, it would be Hell. Q. What do men and sperm have in common? A. They both have one in a million chance of becoming a human being. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David A Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 I just don't know about this one Elaine! Delete or let you have your fun! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angie Daughter of Bill Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 BAM!! Score one for the girls. We'll see if David A. plays fair.....you know he now has the power to zap our men jokes into cyberspace now that he is a moderator. O.K. David..........give it your best shot. (WITHOUT zapping!!) Uhhhhhhh, Frank, what is the score now?? I believe that this should count for more than one point!! Angie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Phyllis Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 That was great! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 Ah, yes...at LEAST a three-point shot... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David A Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 GO PISTONS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 Oh geez o man,I think now itsGIRLS=6 andGUYS= 5.Getting hard to add and type at the same time.I think you should have mabe booted that one David. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David A Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 still considering deleting thi one! lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 Ok here's the deal. Early Stage gets very few posts and I don't think that Debi has enough to do as a moderator over there. She says she's open to the Early Stage forum being changed to the "Male Bashing Jokes/Early Stage Forum". That way jokes can be posted without fear of editing or deleting by you know who.. and she can get some work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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