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This phrase was coined by another member of this board. I won't mention his name, but his initials are dave s (I know, I know - I stole that from DavidA, but I thought it was HILARIOUS!)

Dave scolded me in a PM for holding back about my husband, so we agreed that we would both just put it out there from now on. Dave said our board's new motto should be "Full Disclosure - Good or Bad". I thought it was great, but I think he was too chicken to post it. :lol: He said "You're in charge - go for it". Cough-cough - in charge? :roll: So, Dave MADE me post this. DAVE: Thank you for the motto!

Anyway, after our dreaded appointments tomorrow, I promise I will give "Full Disclosure - Good or Bad", but it will probably be late at night or Sat. morning. Right now, I'm going to bed. I got home very late tonight and don't have any more energy to post to everyone that I want to, but I promise I will catch up by the weekend.

Love to all,


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Ah, Peggy....hope you got a good night's sleep...and I'm chuckling here over the full disclosure requirement....but perhaps it's a really good idea. How can we know exactly how to structure our prayers...if we don't have all the details...eh? :wink:

I'll be looking for your report....but know that the prayers are still coming....even if they're not yet specific to your needs. :wink:

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Hi Peggy,

And THANK YOU TO DAVE S for making this very important statement.

We tend to forget at times that this board is a SUPPORT BOARD! We give support and take support on this board, and sadly enough, so many of the wonderful, caring members of this board tend to hold back what is or isn't going on with them or there family members, as to NOT "ROCK THE BOAT" or make others feel bad or scared.

It's never easy to share our thoughts and fears at times, but if we can't do this on a SUPPORT BOARD, then where do we do this? If I feel I can't handle reading something, then I just pass by it and wait for the day I can.

I hope everyone will be able to open up and share there hopes and fears and thoughts on this wonderful SUPPORTIVE LUNG CANCER BOARD. That is what we're here for!

My Love, Support and Hugs to you All,

Connie B.

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I LOVE the good, the bad the ugly. I myself was thinking of posting something like this b/c lately there are too many apologies up front by a poster (incluidng myself) that they don't want to offend or are afraid the material is sensitive.

My suggestion is that everyone spill it all! Spill how you are feeling. Everyone's cancer IS different. NO ONE has the "same", hence different chemos and approaches.

We all have the emotional ups asnd downs and it helps to post when we are happy and sad, good news and bad. We all know we love each other and don't want to discourage each other.

The most important thing about this board is to be here for each other for the good and bad.

Peggy, I hope you let it all out. Please. Actually, besides helping yourself by getting it all out and sharing, you may not realize, but it helps others to know they are not alone in how they are feeling.

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Guest bean_si (Not Active)

It might a good idea to have a FULL DISCLOSURE as a different forum as we are all at different levels of pain and sensitivity and that can change from moment to moment - depending on the circumstances - say we have just been told we only have a few weeks left and we prefer not to hear the horrible pain others suffered at the end. This is a normal reaction and no one should have to apologize for such a reaction.

If there is a separate forum, then we can decide if we are 'ready' to read hard info.

Putting a "Warning" in the subject could also help. In support boards for people who have been severely abused as children, it is actually a requirement to put "Warning - this may trigger some" in the subject. Then the same warning would be put at the top of the post and several empty lines would follow so that the reader would have to scroll before the start of the post. Triggering information has been known to throw a child abuse/sexual abuse survivor into a psychological reaction - sometimes severe.

I may not be making sense - not sure how to explain myself. I have spoken to several therapists over the years who believe that this is a good idea.

Just a suggestion.


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I understand what you are saying and this subject has come up before. I wonder if we err by putting to many conditions on our posts. It would be a shame if we were to discourage some potential posters here. There are already some recent reports of someone who has chosen not to post rather than risk being to negative to suite some potential readers. I'm thinking the true strength of this board is our ability to encourage others and to disclose freely without the need to be concerned about what someone else may read into it.

Let's face it this is an ugly disease. There are times when I don't come here because i'm not ready for it. That is my choice. It is everyone's choice. I'm not disagreeing with you as much as I am pointing out the value of a free exchange medium without a lot of arbitrary restrictions.

Just my 2 cents....

Best Wishes, Dave S

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Cat and Dave,

I think you're both right. I think that people coming here is their choice - I also think that if the person posting believes their post could "hurt" someone emotionally, they should label it as having that potential.

There are days that I come here for the warm/fuzzies only, days when I am emotionally low and need the good. I still have a NEED to be here, it IS my choice, but I don't WANT the negative at that time. I don't think a whole new forum is needed as there are many negatives that can be covered under each category. A warning label would be good...

As I wouldn't want to chase anyone from posting what they really feel, I also wouldn't want to chase anyone away that is seeking support and needs to "feel the love" but NOT feel the helplessness, the terror, etc.

Oh, the perils of being a Libra! Just can't commit on all topics, walking the mid-line..

Take care, all,


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I, too, am divided on this. I sometimes don't know where to post, as some things I want to say, don't seem to fit anywhere, especially sensitive things.

I just put a warning on them, but I don't know if that is enough or not. And it's not always that easy to know if something needs a warning. I have been blown under by seemingly small phrases that mean a lot to me.

The person who emailed me felt like a failure because treatment was failing. I think that was her point, when it boiled down to it. We all want to be winners, but we all know where we are when we log on also.

I tend to read everything, and wish I hadn't sometimes. For me, sometimes responding to things that have moved me a great deal is much harder than reading the post. There are things I want to say in return, and it hurts sometimes too bad, to say it.

And sometimes it just takes me a long time to put words together....

I don't know the answer. Maybe the members of the board will respond to this.


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Guest bean_si (Not Active)

Snowflake, as usual you give a balanced, intelligent reponse.

I think a Warning - (reason why) in the subject would help a lot.

Elaine, I think your posts today were wonderful and I think putting Warning in the subject was very compassionate and well thought out.


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