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update on mom


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my mom went for her dr visit after she had her pet (post radiation). He said there is still activity in the right upper lobe, the tumor has not gone away but the activity was minimal. There is also an increase of activity in the chest area. No tumor yet, but to keep a look out for a lump. He gave her the choice of having more chemo right away or take two months off and repeat a ct scan to see if anything is happening. She chose to take time off. What is going to happen??? As much as i would like to just keep her on chemo i know this is her choice and her body. I am 28 with 3 children and i dont know what else i can do for her. Please help.

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Dear Debbie,

I can understand your feelings of dispair when it comes to helping your mother. I am 29, my mother was diagnosed 20 days ago with extensive small cell lung cancer with mets to liver, bones and lymph nodes, and I feel like I'm trying to fight her battle for her. I go through different stages of feelings - one day I try to fight the fight for her, the next I've got myself convinced that if she doesn't want to fight then I just have to accept it. I've only been through this for less than a month, so I certainly am no expert or have the "right" answer. I think the best thing that you can do is to have a gentle, loving approach with her, at the same time informing yourself and her as much as possible about her disease.

One thing that my mom doesn't do that I don't agree with is quit smoking. We spoke about it once, I asked her in a kind way why she didn't want to try and she explained to me exactly why. I had to respect her decision, and not say anymore about it. I figure the time that I have with her is precious, and I don't want to argue with her.

You should be as open as possible with your mother about all decisions that are made so that no one has any regrets or ever wonders "why".

Love your mother to the fullest, let her know how special she is. Keep the faith.


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Guest Jonathan


well if she is doing well, and has hope and a will to fight with the belief that she IS going to get better, and go into remissin, then iwould say that she should keep on going with aggressive chemo. I mean she mus have worked very hard and gone through a lot to get this far, and little activity as you say, so why take the chance of wasting all that time and energy for the tumor to possibly grow back or spread? she seems to be doing well, and i would say kick it in the *ss while it's down, becaus once it's up, that is virtually impossible. I mean takinga w eek off wil not hurt, but more than that I would say is dangerous. On the other hand if she is older and does not wish to fiht this aggresssively anymore, it is her right to stop and take a break. Just my opinion, but I hope ahe chooses to go back on it rather than wonder what might have been.


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