DianeR Posted June 8, 2004 Share Posted June 8, 2004 I don't even know where to begin. I am so sad and depressed these days that I just don't know what to do. My dad was dx with NSCLC Stage IV in January 2004. It seems it has been all down hill since that time. I feel he has never received any good news. His cancer has progressed after taking 4 cycles of chemo. Chemo was switched. Dad not tolerating new chemo well. He has only had a hand full of good days since he started chemo in Feb. He is so depressed and I feel this is hurting him as much as the cancer. I am so sad because I can not stop his pain...emotional or physical. I try to be upbeat and happy, but the minute I walk out their door and get in my car I breakdown and cry. I feel as though I am the one that needs to find a way to get him better and I just can't. I wake up in the middle of the night in a panic thinking that I have to find a way to make him better. I soon realize I don't have the power to make him better and the tears begin to flow. I am so tired and worn out. My oldest daughter graduated from High School last week. I was so excited for her, but so depressed because my dad was unable to come see his granddaughter graduate (he was in the hospital). I was exhausted from staying at the hospital all week and I just fought back tears the whole night of graduation. I felt so guilty being depressed at such a joyful time in her life. I am just writing to vent my feelings because I am so tired and scared. I know by reading the posts that there are many caregivers feeling the same way. I just wish I could get some good days for my dad and be able to post a message in the "Good News" section. I would love to see my dad happy again. He means the world to me. Diane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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