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Fashion Statement


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Many of us "Old Folks" are quite confused about how we should present

ourselves. We're unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and

whether or not we are correct as we try to be nice and conform to the

fashions that the designers in NYC, California, and/or Paris inflict upon

the world.

So I made a sincere study of the situation and here are the results. I don't

want to burst your bubble, but despite what you may have seen on the

streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and thus should be


1. A nose ring and bifocals

2. Spiked hair and bald spots

3. A pierced tongue and dentures

4. Miniskirts and support hose

5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads

6. Speedos and cellulite

7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar

8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor

9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge

10. Bikinis and liver spots

11. Short shorts and varicose veins

12. In-line skates and a walker

Please keep these basic guidelines foremost in your mind when you shop.

I'm so old I remember "Preparation A."

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