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Republican National Convention Schedule


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Republican National Convention Schedule

New York, NY

6:00 PM Opening Prayer, led by the Rev. Jerry Falwell

6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance

6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)

6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing

6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting your kid a military deferment

7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong

7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries

7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury, it's what's for dinner

8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next

8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh

8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your children

8:30 PM Roundtable discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)

8:50 PM Seminar #2: Corporations: the government of the future

9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "I Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"

9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong

9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: the real cause of forest fires

9:30 PM Break for secret meetings

10:00 PM Second prayer, led by Cal Thomas

10:15 PM Lecture by Carl Rove: Doublespeak made easy

10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration: How to squint and talk macho

10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark deer-in-headlights stare

10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory Kevlar chastity belt

10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black republicans

10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong

10:50 PM Seminar #3: Education: a drain on our nation's economy

11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Pinata

11:20 PM Second John Ashcroft Lecture: Evolutionists: the dangerous new cult

11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again

11:35 PM Blame Clinton

11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies

11:50 PM Closing Prayer, led by Jesus Himself

12:00 AM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

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Guest bean_si (Not Active)
Republican National Convention Schedule

New York, NY

6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)

:lol: and :cry: I think they already did that.

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June 15, 2004

Kerry to Expand Middle Class by Taxing Wealthy

(2004-06-15) -- Democrat presidential hopeful John Forbes Kerry, who is also a U.S. Senator, today laid out his blueprint for increasing the size of the middle class by boosting taxes on the wealthy.

In a speech to union members in New Jersey, Mr. Kerry answered critics who claim he has offered no coherent vision for America, and he slammed President Bush for "squeezing the middle class."

"I believe in building up our great middle class--expanding it," said Mr. Kerry. "Now, to increase the size of the middle class you can do one of two things--either help poor people escape from poverty and dependency on government programs, or take some money away from rich people so that they become middle class. Now, which one of those sounds easier to you? It's a no brainer."

Mr. Kerry said that the Bush administration "doesn't want you to be middle class. They want you to be like their rich cronies from Halliburton. But they don't tell you the dirty little secret...if you become wealthy, most of your money will go to pay taxes. Where's the compassion in their conservatism?"

by Scott Ott | Donate | TrackBack (5) | Comments (142) | More Satire | Printer-Friendly

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