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Hello Everyone -

Just Monday morning we visited our onc one last time; and after taking blood [and platelets were like, nil]; the doctor determined it would be best [at this time] for Bob to get with Hospice. His blood after a month and some weeks now, is just so so poor, he would never sustain another transfusion. So by Monday afternoon, Hospice was called in. The concensus from Hospice [and from our onc], is pretty grim. Combined with Bob's blood problems, he has ascites pretty severely, his liver is swolen and breathing already compromised -- the concensus is he could have "a few weeks or month(s)".... I'm sure we'll know more come the weekend.

We're still praying for miracles, and I've asked that his blood be drawn this next week or so [just to see whether or not there's been a change that would allow us SOME treatment other than Hospice.]. The flip side I've been told, is that when conditions have progressed this far down the road, even if transfusions could be done, they could still be life threatening and not sustain an already deteriiorated physical state. Hey -- I'm only the messenger.

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Beth, this is so sad. I will pray very hard that your husband gets stronger and can continue with treatments.

As the caregiver you feel so frustrated that you can't do something, anything to make your husband better. Take care of yourself, he needs you healthy.

Take care, I will keep you in my thoughts.

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Oh, Beth, I am so very sorry. You must be feeling very discouraged and sad right now. He can still receive a miracle - it really does happen. Don't give up. I don't have much time this morning because I've got to get ready for work, but I'll write you a PM at lunchtime or tonight. We haven't talked for a while.

Love and hugs,


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Hello everyone --

Thank you so very much for your prayers and offerings of strength and faith. We do all so need them don't we???

Every single day is do unbelievably unique today more than ever -- each day Bob becomes a little more weak, requiring more drugs to stabilize breakthrough pain.

Our daughter's last day is today before she goes off to Australia for two weeks and I tell you -- God really does work in mysterious ways. Because while my husband is too weak physicially, now -- and sooo bereft emotionally to comprehend much at all -- our daughter is so sound and strong in her love for her father and understands probably more maturely than I at times, what's happening. So they've not said their "good-byes"; but, instead she carries with her the profound knowledge of love that they have for each other. Is astounding to me. And I've encouraged her, to say what needs to be said now but like her dad, they have this unspoken pact I suppose that exhudes unconditional love and admiration.

My job now, is to take her to the airport tomorrow with smiles for HER once-in-a-lifetime journey with a host of other musicians and lift her up to God to watch over her; as I ask Him to continue to do for me what I can not do for myself -- be strong, let go, have faith that because Of Him I am still here today to continue my husband's love for our daughter, and be the loving gentle wife and caretaker to my husband that at times I never was -- but always wanted to be.

And the days seem to be growing shorter.

Thanks for your wishes,

Big Hugs - Beth

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