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I feel violated.....


Nushka

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I am not sure where to post this and it has nothing to do with cancer except you all know what stress we are all under all the time from it. Well, to make a long story short, we were robbed Thursday morning early. We were both asleep and someone came into our house and took my purse and my husbands wallet (both of which were in the den) I feel so violated and angry at the same time. We spent thursday with the sheriff's dept and friday at the court house getting new driver's licenses so that we could cash a check and go to the grocery store. We spent yesterday with the locksmith changing all the locks on the doors and calling credit card companies to cancel accounts. I also had to stop payment on a new book of checks I had just added to my check book. Thank God no one was hurt but am not afraid in my own house. We all have enough to worry about without this kind of thing.

I have trouble breathing sometimes and find that the outside country air helps..so I often go outside at all hours of the night to "breathe" as my husband puts it. Now I am scared to leave our back steps.

I am sure we will be fine (the sheriff said that 99% of the time they never come back) but it will never be the same. We have 14 acres of land and most of it is woods. I like the fact that it gives us privacy but now it makes me afraid that I won't see someone.

Any way...I am sorry to rant about something off the subject but had to get it off my chest.

Nina

PS> This is nothing compared to what most of you are going through...and I am sorry to make such a big deal of it. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before but it sure doesn't compare to cancer.

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Nina,

I am so sorry to hear about what happened to you. It's easy to say, well you weren't hurt or anything, you were lucky. However, you never quite get back that innocence that is lost when something like this happens. I understand your feeling of being violated and know that what the sheriff said is most likely true..it won't happen again. The problem is, that it happened at all.

I hope that each day you get back a bit of normalcy to your life. Not sure if you already have one but maybe a big dog will make you feel safer??

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Dear Nina,

I am also sorry about how something like this makes you feel. Your home is your domain or your retreat from the world and when someone steps in and does something like this ... it takes that feeling away of always being safe in your home. Yes, Cancer is worse but this aslo hurts so dont think you are raving but that you are sharing with us your life with cancer. I pray that you and your hubby will be safe.

God Bless You,

Jane

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Hi,

I understand how violated you feel at the house invasion and burglary.In 1973 I was living in Hawaii while in the Navy.We had just returned from a 6 month deployment to the Orient.I wasn't on a ship.I flew so I went to a lot more places than ships do.When we returned to Hawaii,there were 5 or us sharing a house,we all went out to dinner.Gone maybe 2 hours.While we were out we were robbed.Of everything in the house.Including everything I had bought in the Orient,my cameras, and even all my photos and slides.It still makes me sick to think about it.I live in the country now but I have a German Sheppard that keeps people away.Have you considered that?Praying for us all.TBone

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Nina

I am so sorry that happened to you. My Mom's house was robbed about four months ago. She described the same feelings that you did. To make matters worse, they were robbed by someone who they had been helping. (giving cash to them for a "fresh start".........long story there)

Like the others said, get you a dog. I live in the country also. When we moved here, I went to our local animal shelter and adopted two beautiful dogs. They aren't real big, just medium size, but boy can they BARK big!! :lol: The dogs always let me know when someone is around. (or if a coyote is lurking in our pasture, or if a rabbit runs across the yard......heck, they bark at everything)

Hope you are feeling safe again soon!!

Angie

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Nina -

No one needs that kind of crap on top of the crap you're already going thru.

I know the violation you mean - had a break in years ago - didn't even actually take anything (police say they must have been looking for cash or drugs - pulled everything out of drawers, etc.) and I never felt comfortable there again. Every time I took out a pair of underwear I couldn't help think "some stranger touched these!". Ending up moving!

Dogs are good..........

Hugs.........

SandyS

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The picture to the left shows my two "alarm systems"...which run rather cheaply on kibble! :wink:

Nina, I'm so sorry this happened to you...but am so glad nobody was physically hurt. Still...the psychic injury of home invasion is huge, I think.

You know, I likened being diagnosed with cancer to a home invasion....to that feeling of being violated. None of us *invited* the cancer to invade our bodies either...and in many cases it's just as shocking when it does, as to have someone break into your home and rob you!

I'm not sure how you feel about pets...dogs specifically....but living out in the woods as you do, somewhat isolated....even a small to medium sized dog will make a great early warning system. A dog's hearing will pick up on noises we would NEVER hear...and then they sound the alarm!

They say most criminals who break into homes will avoid houses where a dog makes noise. Noise alerts people....so a robber will rather choose a home where NO dog is barking to alert anyone.

Perhaps adding a little pound pup to your family would be a good idea. You'd gain some protection in the form of a barking alarm system....and at the same time, if you adopt a pound or shelter animal...you save a life! My two furry pound yahoos also provide hours of free entertainment and some of the best lap cuddles anyone could want (beyond those darling grandsons of yours! :wink: )

I'm glad you weren't hurt, Nina...but again, I'm so sorry for the feelings of violation that make you feel unsafe in your own home. Nobody should be made to feel that way....nobody! :(

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I am so sorry you had to go through this. We have 3 saint bernards so

are house is safe but are van was not. In Feb. are van was robbed right

in front of are home. Took everything tv, vcr , cd's , etc... makes you so

mad and you get left feeling so violated. Haylee

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Nina,

You sure didn't need this. Nobody does. Everyone I've ever known who had something like this happen to them says they feel the same way you do. I, too, vote for getting a dog or two. They not only guard your house and protect you, but you will fall in love with them and they with you.

This is nothing compared to what most of you are going through...and I am sorry to make such a big deal of it.

I think that everything that happens to everyone on this board is a big deal to all of us because we really are family. I would feel sad if someone had "a big deal" like this happen to them and couldn't share their feelings with all of us. Thank God that we can.

Love,

Peggy

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Oh Nina,

I'm so sorry- that's awful.... I like the suggestion of "alarm systems" (Ruff!) and to not be afraid, just cautious.

I thoroughly believe in what comes around goes around and that thief is going to get his!

God bless ann praying for you some comfort and peace.

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Nina,

That is a VERY scary thing to have happened to you. I hope that you can go back to feeling comfortable very soon. I guess you can say that you were luck to have been asleep, cause god knows what would have happened. So sorry you have this adding to your stress level

Jamie

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I'm so sorry that this has happened to you, no one deserves that violation.

I would have to agree with the others about dogs, our dog though not has a very intimidating bark and growl epecially at night, I don't think she would hurt a soul but I don't tell very many people that.

I'm sorry Nina and hope you get some sense of security back. David

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Hello Nina,

Having someone creep into your home while you are asleep is just the most horrible thing and violation is the only way to describe it! I know how you must be feeling and I am so sorry this happened

I must tell you something that a friend of ours ,(who lives in South Africa ,) told us, you won't believe it. In South Africa now, robberies and car jackings are a way of life, but the way this one was carried out was amazing. Apparently, one day a family were sitting in their lounge, (talking after lunch,) and a robber , (with a motor-cycle helmet on his head,) charged their glass door with his head down like a charging bull, and smashed into the house. Once in, he held them up with a gun and he and his accomplices proceeded to rob them of all they had! A drastic change from night robberies I would say!

Paddy

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Nina,

I'm so sorry to hear of the home invasion. During times where some of these home invasions are masochistic and end horribly, I'm so glad that whoever took whatever they wanted and got the hell out!

My suggestion for working on that violated feeling AND being able to live in your house "comfortably" would be to discuss it with a counselor. Not a cop out here, just helps you to get those feelings out and deal with them.

...and don't compare it to the cancer, a home invasion is a far more imminent danger where you have NO control. You do have SOME control with fighting the cancer...

xxoo,

Becky

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Nina,

I wish it hadn't happened. And I don't know what to say, except invest in a good home security system, invest in some motion lighting for the tree line, and don't allow these thiefs to rob you of your pleasure in your own home. But mostly I wish it hadn't happened at all. :(

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Thank you all for your support and sympathy. The strange thing about all of this is that we do have a dog. Granted she is little (8 lbs) and (10 years old) but we thought she would bark. If she heard them at all she must have come into the den and licked them. Makes us wonder if it wasn't someone she had met before. There were pain meds out and they didn't take them...just the purse and wallet. Things are a little better today than yesterday and I hope it continues to get better...so that I feel safer.

Again, thank you to all of you for being here for me.

Nina

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