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Missing Alan... His one month anniversary of his passing


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Yes, It's late and by all rights I should be in bed. But here I sick going over the wonderful and fun times my Brother Alan and I had. Today marks a month sice he left us.

I am so sad tonight. For the most part I am doing well but I do have my days when it still all seems so unreal.

God Promised me that Alan would go to Heaven and I KNOW that is where he is. The trouble with that, is he isnt here with us.

I smile his smile, his laugh, his conpanionship and trust. i miss his Love .

I know that sounds kind of selfish, but I cant help but feel I wanted more time with him.

Thanks all for listening.. I dont know what I would do without all of you. I love you all.

God Bless you all,


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Dear Jane,

I can relate to all you have said. It is not selfish to want him to spend more time with you; after all, he wanted that time here, too. As the months move on, I can feel Becky's presence more and more, and it is not as painful as it was in the very beginning. Either she is getting better and haunting me, or I am healing a little bit, or both. Here's hoping for the same for you.


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Curtis is right, its not selfish at all to wish you could have more time with someone you love. If it was selfish we would all be extremely selfish people. I think you will find that as time goes by you will have more and more good minutes. Notice I say minutes because that seems to be what I measure my time by. I still have more really bad times than not, but I do have times now that I stop what I am doing and realize that I actually functioned for a while without thinking about how sad I am. I know that now when I think about my Dad who I lost over 30 years ago or my Mom who I lost 10 years ago, I tend to smile about memories more often than I cry. I hope you feel better soon.

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