tess Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 Well, the home care nurse came, did an evaluation on Rob and thinks I make a pretty good nurse. I upped his pain patch 25mg because of the excrutiating pain, it has seemed to help. He also is taking neurotin for nerve pain. Rob has the spine mets, and the pain was really bad. He seems to be really comfortable for now... unfortunately, he is unable to walk anymore. His legs are numb and no feeling left. He barely made it to the toilet with the help of a walker and myself. It took a lot out of him to do this, and he has decided its not worth it. He can't really control his bladder anymore or his BM. So I went and bought some depends and pads and I told him not to worry, I have wiped a lot of bums in my day and I don't mind at all. His stomach is bloated and I think its just water retention, but I need to have the nurse check it out on Monday, we haven't had his liver checked for quite a while, I hope there's not cancer there too. I would rather have him here with me than in a nursing home. He is a lot better now is his hospital bed here at home. Its right next to my bed and we are still in our bedroom together. He has had a lot of people (mostly family) coming to see him and its makes him feel very loved. Rob's mom and dad are 80 and 85, they live next door to us and are great. Mom brings over dinner and they read the bible with us and are here whenever we need them. So we both feel really blessed and are starting to accept the fact that God is going to take him soon and we can't do anything about it. I dont' know if he will make it to our 3rd anniversary. (august 18th) I just keep telling him I love him and he tells me he loves me too. He also says he is so sorry for putting me thru this, and I say to him I am honored that I am the one who is taking care of him. He is wonderful man, and he has helped so many people, including me, my kids, his employees, my sister who died in our house of breast cancer two and a half years ago. He took my daughter and her two kids in and helped them too. Sorry, I just keep rambling on, I guess I just want everyone to know what a special man I am married to. I guess its true, that the good die young. Thanks for taking the time to read this, and I got it all out without crying! Tess Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paddy Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 Tess, My heart goes out to you my Dear. Your courage matches that of your husband. He sounds such a wonderful man, it is hard to understand why such wonderful people have to go through so much pain. My husband was sitting here a few minutes ago and I suddenly realized he was trying to put on a gardening glove. He says it is protection for his nails as they are beginning to fall out and keep getting caught on things, it is so painful. I simply die when I see him in pain, but like you, there is nothing much I can do but tell him how sorry I am and how much I love him. What torture this is for us all. I am so glad that your husband is manging the pain now and that he has such a loving wife and family around him. Bless you all, Paddy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 Dear Tess, You have my heart as well, along with my prayers. One of the hardest thing for me to read on this website is when our friends are going through horrible pain, both physical pain and mental pain. I am so glad that your Rob is comfortable and the pain is better. You have described a remarkable man and I know that I appreciate your sharing so much about him and his goodness. May God bless you now and forever with His comfort and His love. Love, Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SandyS Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 starting to accept the fact that God is going to take him soon and we can't do anything about it. Sometimes God just looks down and says "Enough. Come home." Oh, Tess - may the strength of your love for each other get you thru this tough time. You are lucky to love and be loved by such a special man. Hugs and prayers, SandyS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 I got it -- Rob is a very special man. You are special, too. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tnmynatt Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 Tess, I'm praying for you and Rob and the whole family. I hope to be as strong as you when/if I get to the same point with Charlie. Take care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamie Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 Tess & ROb, Oh my- I truly hope things start turning up over there. Were all prayin for you! Jamie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nushka Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 Tess, I am so sorry to hear about Rob getting worse. It sounds like you have a wonderful setup for him being in your bedroom. I am glad that his parents are so close and can help you. I will keep you in my prayers. Nina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karen335 Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 Dear Tess, I am sad to read that Rob is not doing well. May the Lord watch over both of you and give you the strength to take care of your wonderful husband. I am glad you have Rob's parents close by to help you. The Lord blessed you with each other and that is such a gift. Miracles do happen. The Lord hears our prayers and answers them. Prayers for both of you... God Bless, Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilyjohn Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 Tess I am so very sorry for your heartache. I don't know what else to tell you but to just glory in the love you have while you can. May God be with you and your family. Lillian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shirleyb Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 Tess and Rob, I am praying for you both. May you both have peace and comfort. Shirleyb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 Tess I tried last night to write a post to you and Rob and couldn't. This morning I still don't have words. I just want you to know you wonderful people are in my thoughts and prayers. elaine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 I am so sorry that you are both going through this... I wish you strength to get through the days ahead and care for Rob. I think its wonderful his parents are helping you out, they sound very special. Rochelle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaneC Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 Dear Tess and Rob, I am so very sorry you are having to go through this. I am praying for you both. Jane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fall54 Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 Dear Tess, May you find comfort in the love you share. I am so sorry Rob is doing so poorly, but happy that his pain has lessened and he is home with you where he has both you and his parents to help him through this. Trust in your faith and God will take care of the rest. I am praying for you all. God Bless You All, Jane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 I am so sorry for the discomfort you both are living with right now. I pray that it will improve in some way. I understand what a good man he is and how much you love each other and the happiness you have shared. That alone has been a blessing. You might have missed each other in this life. But you didn't. I feel the same way, it is my honor to be here, to share this life for the good and bad with my husband. I wouldn't trade him for a million bucks. God bless you both now and in the days to come. Margaret Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shineladysue Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 Tess, I am truly heartbroken to hear the latest news about Rob. He sounds like such a wonderful person and you are as well. I want you to know that Mike (my husband) and I are keeping you in our prayers. Thank you for sharing and we pray God will keep you in his loving care. sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Octobergrace Posted July 19, 2004 Share Posted July 19, 2004 Your husband, Rob, must truly be a great man, and is clearly much-loved. I am sure that there is great comfort in having his parents next door, but it must be very hard for them and you to see Rob go through the changes that you write about. It is very hard to read about what you all face in these days and your post reminded me of a quote very special to me: "There is mysterious blessing in great woundedness"...it sounds as if your family has been able to find blessings of great love and companionship in the face of Rob's great woundedness. I am glad that he is consoled and loved by the people who surround you...and you by the people who stand with you from this support community. May your love for each other carry you and continue to shine this hour and this hour and this hour. Special prayers to you in these days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carleen Posted July 19, 2004 Share Posted July 19, 2004 Tess, Your husband sounds like a remarkable and wonderful man. You are both lucky to have found such a beautiful and true love. And your husband I am sure is so thankful for having a wonderfully compassionate nurse/caregiver/friend in you. I will be praying for you and your family during this trying time. I pray for your sweet husband to have strength and peace. If it is God's will to call him home, may it be peaceful and pain-free. It already sounds like he is completely surrounded by love, and there is no more beautiful thing than that. God Bless, Carleen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elnodel Posted July 19, 2004 Share Posted July 19, 2004 Add my prayers and thoughts for you and Rob to all the others. Ellen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvmydog2 Posted July 19, 2004 Share Posted July 19, 2004 So we both feel really blessed and are starting to accept the fact that God is going to take him soon and we can't do anything about it. I am sorry you are having to go through this. Just wanted to let you know that you and your family are in my prayers. Here is a poem that I use a lot. I think maybe Jane posted it a while back but not sure. If so I am sorry for the duplicate post. I enjoy it so much I wanted to share it again. Please remember that God will not call Rob home until He is ready to. I know it is hard but try to ... . God looked around his garden and found an empty place. He then looked down upon the earth and saw your tired face. He put his arms around you and lifted you to rest. God’s garden must be beautiful. He always takes the best. He knew that you were suffering, He knew that you were in pain, He knew that you would never get well on earth again. He saw the road was getting rough, and the hills were hard to climb, so he closed your weary eyelids, and whispered “Peace be thine.” It broke our hearts to lose you, but you didn’t go alone. For part of us went with you, the day God called you home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tess Posted July 19, 2004 Author Share Posted July 19, 2004 Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers everyone. I don't know what I would do without all the help I have found here. This is a wonderful site, it has been a God send and may God bless all of you! Tess Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted July 19, 2004 Share Posted July 19, 2004 Tess, I, too, have my husband at home in a hospital bed. I have it in the family room so he can view our backyard and watch all the house activity. I, too, am blessed with many good family and friends who are sharing this journey with us. May you both find peace and comfort, may you spend this time in love and caring. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SJAS Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 Tess, Don't know how you could have gotten through that post with no tears because they're sure flowing here. Rob is a remarkable man with the very good luck to have a remarkable wife and family. He has had the greatest gift possible with all of you. No medicine on earth can do anymore for him than what you are giving him. My prayers are with you both. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bean_si (Not Active) Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 Tess, I think you are both wonderful people. I wish you didn't have to go through this. My prayers are with you both. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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