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Its late and I should be in bed but I can't calm myself down enough to hit the sack. I'm so very scared. I hope I have done the right thing.

I call tomorrow to find out if they have a bed for me Monday. I will be operated on some time this week.

They have decided that there is indeed cancer in my spine and that the neurosurgeon would operate within two weeks. When we got that news from my other oncologist, we called to set up an appt only to find out my neurosurgeon was on leave and would not be back until end of month.

Gilles and I were really upset at the delays and voiced those concerns to my radiation oncologist who set about getting me an appt with another neurosurgeon. I met with him and he is willing to go thru the back door, i.e. be admitted via ER and he would do it

The reason for the haste is THIS ONGOING HORRIBLE PAIN I've had since forever and the numbness I am feeling more and more down my right side. I have difficulty holding on to things and its scary. Also, I'm afraid of the spread of this cancer which they took their sweet time over in coming together and deciding YES, its there alright!

I will let you know how it all turns out, but for now I've never been more frightened in my life. I'm so afraid of making wrong decisions. The reperecussions could be great,

Please, please, please... May I have all of your prayers in the days to come. I believe in their power..I believe in you all!!!

God Bless us all,


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I wish I had an answer for you about your surgery. I will be thinking of you and praying for complete recovery and healing. Stay positive and just put it in the hands of the Lord. He will take care of us and heal us...

God Bless, prayers and hugs,


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Good luck on the surgery! It seems to me like you are makign the right decision, and you have doctors behind you. Think of it this way---even though the neurosurgeon you are comfortalbe with is away, the covering neurosurgeon has to be good just because of the specialty. Sure there can be quacks for internists, gynecologists, etc, but for a brain surgeon--hard to be a quack or they wouldn't be able to operate :)

Not sure if that made sense. But i strongly believe that certain specialites, like thoracic surgery, brain surgery, heart surgery doctors have to be good just b/c of the nature of the work.

Keep us posted and i hope you sleep!

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Wishing you peace and calmness and a great outcome from the surgery. Cound you please have Gilles practice accessing the site and updating us in how you are so I don't have to fine him again? All the very best Francine...


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Oh my goodness sweetie! Of course you are terrified! It's only natural! Hugs and lots of prayers coming your way. Hang in there and be as strong as you can, lean on us and your family and you will find the strength to do what needs to be done.



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The day before my surgery, I was with my minister, and we prayed. He asked for angels to surround my operation, to keep watch over me and my doctors. That brought me such comfort to think of those angels, and as I went into the OR, I mentally placed them around the table.

Wishing you only the best.


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I've never been more frightened in my life.

I ditto Cheryl's response to you:

Please give your fear to him Francine, and he will take care of it all. You are an incredible lady, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me."

---------------------------Jesus, John 14:1

I will be praying for you also, Francine.



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Francine. You can add my all out prayers. I know about scary too and the only way I can find peace at times is with prayer and asking the good old guy for help. So here goes. God please help Francine through her next jouney and hold her tight until the fear passes. Love to you. Nancy O.

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My prayers are with you and I also pray that your surgeon will be guided by God's hand. I pray that the surgery will be successful and your recovery will be speedy. Keep your heart on the goal of eliminating the pain. You are not alone in this.

Blessings of healing,


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