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A venting we will go!


caledon

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So here is where we stand: Onc is happy, I’m pissed-off and Mom could care less either way – if you knew her you would laugh at this! We are now at the low of Last Thursday’s chemo (Taxotere) --. a very bad night tonight. The platinum’s were stopped after 6 cycles as they were knocking her flat! I keep wondering what is worse LC or the chemo? Low grade fever, wretching…etc.

The last Onc consult ended with the Onc stating to my mother (a fellow medical professional) that she was fine except for the little hurt – him pointing to her chest – in there! Like what the ___ ? I was in university for 10+ yrs myself – D### I should have stayed in sciences! Mom laughed and I wanted too…well!/?

Her so called friends are well…where are they now!/? How many of them did she help financially - them and/or their kids (helped pay their tuition etc.)…every sob story! Where are they?

A question to all: do you think I should remind them of this? I will not out of respect for my mother; she would be upset if I did!

Well one thing about this disease it gives clarity to a lot of things that from what I can see most would like to remain hidden.

“God is a comedian playing to an audience to afraid to laugh” Voltaire

Caledon

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Caledon,

I know it's late so that's maybe why nobody else has replied yet, but I know I'm confused and don't know what to say to you, so maybe others are as well.

I don't quite understand what happened here. The post is just a little confusing to me. Was the doctor talking to her like a little child or something when he said that and pointed to her chest? and that's why you're upset? Also, I'm not sure about the next part. Who are the people you are talking about? Are they connected to the statement about what the doctor said? or is it a separate thought about friends who have maybe deserted your mom at this critical time in her life?

Sorry, I'm just confused and it's probably just me.

God bless,

Peggy

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Caledon,

I think your title says it all. You really needed to vent and this is just the place to do it. There are so many frustrations and disappointments with this disease. You're right about the clarity it brings. I wouldn't waste any energy on "friends" or "family" who aren't there for you. You now know who really counts and you're gonna need every ounce of energy in this fight. Thank heavens your family is so well educated as you have to do so much legwork and advocacy before making decisions. Hang on for the ride!

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Peggy thanks for your reply.

I’m just venting. I go to the Onc meetings per Mom’s request. She knows what is going on; she does this to help me – I think? She has worked in this field since the 50’s. The Onc’s knows her and she knows them! I think she does this to ease me into what is to…?

As for the rest! My Mom never took anything from anyone she worked for everything – and hard! When she divorced my dad in the late 60’s she did not take a dime (his family is of means). She took my brother and I and lost us when Ovarian Cancer “came” a calling.

Since the 70’s she has helped every sob story... paid outright other 's bill and or tuition….and…what does she get from said people…maybe a call, hold her hand, a thank you?

Caledon

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Thanks Joyce,

I’m just venting. Mom has worked in this field since the 50’s. I think she wants me to go to the Onc meetings as a way to help me? I think she is trying to ease me into…well…?

She knows all the Onc’s et al., after-all just a short time ago was their colleague.

My thing tonight was that one of my Mom’s charity cases called. Mom never cared about money. Dad thought it hilarious. I think there has to be a happy medium. Anyway, for a few, the gravy train has just been derailed. Charity begins at home! For my Mom – it’s her turn!

Caledon

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Thanks Joyce,

I’m just venting. Mom has worked in this field since the 50’s. I think she wants me to go to the Onc meetings as a way to help me? I think she is trying to ease me into…well…?

She knows all the Onc’s et al., after-all just a short time ago was their colleague.

My thing tonight was that one of my Mom’s charity cases called. Mom never cared about money. Dad thought it hilarious. I think there has to be a happy medium. Anyway, for a few, the gravy train has just been derailed. Charity begins at home! For my Mom – it’s her turn!

Caledon

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I'm a bit confused myself about your post. Obviously your very upset and I believe feel a little helpless. This is normal with this disease. Glad your able to vent here.

I wouldn't put to much thought into what others are doing or what you would want them to do. That would be a waste of energy and time. You cannot change people and holding grudges toward them only harms you and your ability to think clearly as to what you need to do for your mother. It also sounds like she has a grip on the situation and a far better understanding of it than you and brings you along so that you to have an understanding. Apparently she has chosen you to be the one to hold her hand and give support. Once the shock of what she is up against passes you will be able to see much more clearly what this disease is and can do. There is plenty of hope and many of us are fighting a good fight and have survived much longer than were first told. Save your strength for giving support and comfort to your mother and forget about the anger toward others. Its very unproductive. Thats my take on your post. Please keep coming back as this is a great place for the needs you have expressed. By the way, Voltaire was very wrong.

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Thanks for the advice Bruce,

You are right. Please forgive my rant/vent last night. One of my mother’s charity cases called wanting help; this person knows that Mom is sick. Mom had a bad night last night…like clockwork…6 days out from chemo temp fluctuates (101-96), Nausea – don’t ask! Tonight is marginally better; though an ER run still can’t be ruled out – it’s the chemo. She has never tolerated medications well. She has adverse reactions to most drugs – even before this dx.

Some good news: last week was that there is some shrinkage to the primary and today the Insurance OK’d the hemoglobin booster drug >>>$8,600 for 6 pills<<< Mom was fine with having blood transfusions but her doc’s pushed:-) Gotta luv them! I wish everyone here could have this group!

God bless! I agree Voltaire was wrong – many are lol - though what he was commenting on makes one think;-)

Caledon

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