Nushka Posted July 30, 2004 Share Posted July 30, 2004 This last Tuesday when I saw my oncologist he gave me some timelines that I was not considering. I had thought that you counted your survival time from dx or begining treatment. He told us that for survival statistics you use the time since your last treatment. He had told us that the first two years were the most critical for my situation. I was counting that from my surgery date of March 10,2003. He said that the two years was actually counted from my last treatment, which was radiation, on August 7, 2003. I thought I was almost a year and 1/2 out for that critical date but found instead that I have a full year to wait. But the good news is that if I make it that long....with NED...then my chances of it coming back are only around 10%. After three years it goes down to 5%. Those odds are much better than what they are for the first 2 years. I look forward to another year with NED and will ask for your prayers that it stays that way for me. I can't breathe that sigh of relief yet but feel lucky for the chance to have this last year. For the most part I feel fine (short of breath and wheezing alot) and if I could get the depression under control I would be absolutely wonderful. I know that each day is a gift to us and in my heart I am so grateful for each one. Its just that when it comes time to go somewhere....be around a group of people besides family....have an adventure of any kind...I freeze. I love my home and my family and my little dog. I am content to stay here. Its my poor husband that wants to enjoy the time we have together making new memories. It is an injustice to him to sit here every day. So for his sake and mine (don't want to say I wish I had) I plan on seeking help for the depression. You all have been here for me from the day I found this place. I love each and every one of you. I will keep you all in my prayers and feel foolish asking for prayers for me when I am NED at present. But I need them anyway. Thanks in advance. Nina PS. As for survival time...it is from dx. The time from last treatment is only for statistics as for long term survival. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bean_si (Not Active) Posted July 30, 2004 Share Posted July 30, 2004 Thanks for the info Nina. About your depression, I do think I understand. Somedays I wish I was a turtle and could just settle down in my shell and not move. I think it very good that you seek help for your depression. You have the right to enjoy your life. Take care, Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted July 30, 2004 Share Posted July 30, 2004 Nina, I think we all should do whatever we have to do to make life 'enjoyable'. There are too many heartaches and too much sadness that just 'happens' in life, therefore we need to get whatever help we need to be happy. Go for that help, not just to please your husband, but to learn how to enjoy life again for you. I believe that if I am happy, it will help the people around me be happy (or continue to believe that I am a babbling idiot.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
betplace Posted July 30, 2004 Share Posted July 30, 2004 Nina, I hadn't stopped praying for you just 'cause you were NED, but if it eases your mind, I will gladly continue to remember you in my prayers!! Find what happiness you can sweetie, I used to be upset when I had to go on Anti-Depression Meds to face life, now I just thank God they are avilable to help me through. What we face is huge, what we went through to get to NED was huge, scary, and left us with weird aches and pains and a compromised (sp?) immune system. Sometimes we need help. Blessings Betty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy RN Posted July 30, 2004 Share Posted July 30, 2004 I totally understand the feeling of safety and contentment of just being home. I have everything in the world right here under this roof. My husband too wants to go out-out to dinner, out to the movies, etc. I make myself go because he needs this time out with me away from the stressers we call -OUR KIDS- Try to do it for him. I will cont to pray for yours and everybodies NED. Love Cindy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hebbie Posted July 30, 2004 Share Posted July 30, 2004 He had told us that the first two years were the most critical for my situation. I was counting that from my surgery date of March 10,2003. He said that the two years was actually counted from my last treatment, which was radiation, on August 7, 2003. I thought I was almost a year and 1/2 out for that critical date but found instead that I have a full year to wait. But the good news is that if I make it that long....with NED...then my chances of it coming back are only around 10%. After three years it goes down to 5%. Those odds are much better than what they are for the first 2 years. Well -- I too thought that I could count it from my surgery date -- actually, that is what my medical onc. was counting from (my radiation doc seems to agree with your doctor! ) I don't know if I ever heard your exact diagnoses -- with regard to the stats your doctor gave you, what "Stage" were you determined to be? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nushka Posted July 30, 2004 Author Share Posted July 30, 2004 Hebbie, I was dx'd with stage IIA/IIIA. There was some lymph node involment but the one that was involved was questionable. They didn't know what to do with me so they treated me like I was IIIA. I wanted to be as agressive as possible without over doing it. Nina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa O Posted July 30, 2004 Share Posted July 30, 2004 I like to throw stats to the wind anyway... but you have my continued prayers for a long life with Ned. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda Posted July 30, 2004 Share Posted July 30, 2004 Nina, Please don't feel foolish asking for help (NED or ED). The only foolish ones are those who think they don't need it. You will continue to be in our thoughts and prayers. Melinda On a side note--I had always thought it would be nice to be a house cat with custom-made amnesia (if someone stepped on my tail, I wouldn't remember it, but I would remember the bird I wtched for an hour that day). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted July 31, 2004 Share Posted July 31, 2004 Nina, You have my prayers for continued NED. I sense that you are troubled about the anticipated survival time, even if you did get more encouraging news from your doctor. From what I've read on this website, you are not alone. It seems this is pretty common for most everyone that has cancer - any type of cancer. Dean started a thread in The Path Less Traveled about living in the moment. It's a very enlightening thread, especially Cat's post on learning how to control thinking patterns. If you haven't already read that thread, I think it's a good one to really study. Elaine and maybe some others also posted very good points along with their deepest thoughts and fears (I can't remember who else posted). I think that, in addition to any medication your doctor might prescribe, that you might consider looking into learning more about controlling your thinking, perhaps with the tape that Cat suggested. It could be helpful for you, both with depression and being more comfortable about getting out and making those new memories. I was very touched by your post. May the Lord bless you with his love, Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fall54 Posted July 31, 2004 Share Posted July 31, 2004 Dear Nina, I have noticed it is you and I that are always on the board late at night. I sometimes have trouble sleeping and this is where I come because this is whats on my mind. I assume the same is true with you?? I went on medication for depression when my Brother became ill , never having been on it before but knew in my heart I needed to. What a world of difference it made. I was able to function again where I was nothing but a blubbering idiot for quite a while. I was able to do so much more and felt like I could handle so much more. I am still on it and would like to get off it but I know in my heart the time is not right. I still have periods of days that I am very down and I wouldnt want to go down further. I am encouraging you to see your DR about medication for the depression. I am on Lexapro and it has only had one side effect with me and I think that is true of any antidepressant. My libido is down. I can handle that and my husband is more than understanding. I like the safety of my world too. My house, husband, pets and sons that visit but last night was my hubbys birthday so we went out to a movie and dinner and it was so nice. You think you dont want to go out but once you are out there it feels great! Enjoy your NED and lets all pray that you become completly cured. In the meantime enjoy your life!! See your DR and talk with him and see what he thinks. I wish you the very best and you are in my prayers always. God Bless You Nina, Jane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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