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lilyjohn

statistics, emotions and attitude, good and bad

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Nina...

Just to let you know...I printed out the thread on info you wanted to share....as I was SO happy to have a black and white explanation for how to figure survival time. That wasn't a bothersome statistic at all...it was something to clarify what I think a lot of people aren't sure how to calculate!!

Your post gave me much to look forward to :wink: AND a concrete way to calculate. Since my last tx (chemo) will be mid September...I guess I start counting from there, technically! :) But in a corner of my own mind...I've been surviving ever since I got the dx on May 10th! :wink:

Elaine...I have to speak to your most recent comments too...because every one of us is a "limited edition". We all have our own limits, boundaries, capacities and needs....plus some of us wear our hearts on our sleeves while others guard their privacy a bit more. So while I essentially agree with your feelings that you don't want anyone to feel stifled here...or pushed away because of what they may need to talk about....the fact remains that sometimes people will show up in a moment of need, speak their mind....and then disappear. And it has NOTHING to do with us....it's all about what THEY must have needed at that moment.....a place to speak out. Once they do that....their need is fulfilled and they may NOT return here!

Sort of like talking to a stranger on a bus or a plane, telling far more than you ever thought you would....because you know you'll never see the person again, eh? :wink:

I've been involved in another message board where there were some 12-13,000 registered members....but only perhaps 300-400 were very active. Those figures indicate just how many people registered...posted just a time or two...then disappeared. It happens...and it probably happens here a lot too. Not everyone finds the same comfort in sharing so much of a journey like this....I don't expect....and others may be far too busy with the daily, practical matters to spend time on the internet, eh?

All any of us can do...is the best we can do, keeping in mind that for anyone to even BE here....they arrive with a major hurt in their heart, a double dose of fear and angst, perhaps some real, physical pain AND some emotional pain....and a monster in the basement who ain't likely to go away easily! And that's just the short list.

A little bit of kindness goes a long way and if we aren't sure what a person is trying to say, we can always paraphrase their words and ask them if we are understanding what they mean to say. OR....we can simply stop reading any post that is distressing.

Some days I have a better capacity for the sadness and even some of the information I find here. Other days....I feel a quart low and I do need to take a wee break. It's not because I don't care....it's because some days my own battle takes more out of me and I don't have as much left to give. I think it must be like that for a lot of us, if not all of us.

Dealing with cancer, by necessity, means we probably deal with most everything in life a bit differently....or at the least, with a bit less energy, and a bit more urgency. In this community, the loss of a member diminishes and saddens us all...and sometimes those little breaks allow us to refocus on the hope and inspiration those lost lives still offer to us.....the lessons in spirit and grace, in kindness and love and support.

I've probably gotten a little far afield of the original topic here...but this is the sort of thread that gets you thinking on a broader plane. Hope my words made some sense. I'm all pumped full of steroids again from chemo....so I'm never quite sure how my words come out....although as I sit here typing them, they seem quite brilliant to me!! :lol:8)

I'm gonna shut up now and go grab some water to see if I can't flush some of this stuff out of my system before they pump MORE into me today! :roll:

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Just another note about statistics ...

You can get them from the internet -- including many reliable sources who publish studies and articles on the internet.

Then, there are local statistics -- such as the ones they have at the center where I'm being treated. Theirs go into the pot of *all* statistics, I guess, but if I look at the ones here and their track record, it is far better than what I've seen on the internet. They also have trials here that have been cited by many prestigious institutions and publications. They have done some groundbreaking research work in this city, and I am sharing in the benefits of all those who came before me in this fight.

Having been in the health care business for a number of years, I can tell you that one of THE most important things before going into a hospital is knowing their track record -- do they have higher than usual infections, what is their mortality rate, what is their level of experience for the treatment/surgery/procedure(s) you will be having there, etc. It's the same for any medical care I think -- KNOW about where you are being treated.

I know what my doctor tells me about the number of survivors he sees as patients, how they use the best available knowledge, skills and experience they can get to help them survive as long as possible. I know also that they work very hard for patient comfort while they are battling the cancer scourge. And in spite of my Oncologist having an atrocious bedside manner, I know that his skills are exactly what I need at this point in time.

Dianne

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After a lot of tears this morning, all I want to say is that we are all doing our best to survive under difficult circumstances. We all deserve some grace for that even when we aren't graceful.

love you all

elaine

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I have to add just one more thing about statistics (and I hope I don't offend anyone). The way I look at it is this - the odds are that none of us should have to be dealing with this disease. The statistics are that MOST people that smoke do NOT get lung cancer and even fewer people that don't smoke will get cancer and yet here we all are. Therefore, in my mind, the statistics have very little to do with what is actually going to happen to me. This may be denial but it usually works for me :wink: .

Jane

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