How Can This Be???

[Ann]

As some of you may have read from previous posts, my youngest son graduated from college this weekend. This son is intelligent and was always identified in school as a "high potential" student. But...his lack of motivation combined with his "laid back" attitude often worried Dennis and I. One of Dennis's dreams was to see him graduate from college. It was a major milestone for Dennis. I was so upset that Dennis would not be able to be with us (in body) for this occasion. Like any proud mom, I took many pictures. I usually use my digital camera but decided to pull out my old faithful Canon 35mm with a zoom lens for this special occasion, as it takes excellent photos. When I was gathering up my two rolls of film this morning to be developed, I noticed a used roll of film in my camera bag that I didn't remember. Well, when I picked up the pictures a couple of hours ago, I was speechless. There, right on the top of the stack, was a really good picture of Dennis. I could immediately tell from the picture, that it had been taked after he was diagnosed. He had lost weight and had experienced significant hair loss. The look on his face even seemed to shop pain. When I looked closer at the pictures, I realized that I didn't recognize the kitchen the picture was taken in. I knew it wasn't mine. Well, after showing the picture to my oldest son, we realized it was taken in his kitchen but....it was his kitchen in Nashville. My son and DIL lived in Nashville while he was a law student at Vanderbilt!

Now the clincher....my son graduated in 2000 from law achool and then moved immediately back to Florida! This roll of film had been in my bag all this time...????? I can honestly tell you this picture is of the way Dennis looked approximately 3 months prior to his death in December 2002, over two years after my son left Nashville. I don't think I am losing my mind but how can this be???? By the way, this was the only picture on that entire roll of film I dropped off!!!!

[mhutch1366]

Ann,

Life is strange sometimes.

It was a beautiful surprise, wasn't it?

[cathy]

I dont know Ann..The whole thing is strange

[Guest bean_si (Not Active)]

Maybe his spirit.

Physicists theorize that there are 11 dimensions yet we only see 3. I just believe there is more to this world than we can ever fathom - than we will ever allow ourselves to believe.

Cat

[lilgna]

I have never shared tbis story with anyone. Just feel like it is appropriate to do so after reading this post. My mother was diagnosed with lung cancer in 1992 (march) in mid August we had our picture taken together when she was very sick with treatments. I did not have the film developed until her death in October 1992. When I saw our picture, well I was just so happy to have a picture of US together even if she looked sick.. I said "Well Mom now I will have to get a special frame for this so I can always have you near", a few days later I went to the mailbox, and discovered a small package, I opened it to find a beautiful gold and silver frame exactly the size of our picture. I had never ordered this frame. Inside was a card that said, this was a gift ordered by a friend... for a friend and was signed YOUR MOM..... I have never let that picture out of my sight since. And now, tragically I am going through lung cancer, I often pick it up look at it and tell her all my whoas and I am certain she, along with my other ANGELS, help me everday to get through this...I am blessed..

[Don Wood]

What that says to me, Ann, is that Dennis was very present at your son's graduation. This is a way of letting you know that. I love the story. Don

[lilyjohn]

I had to set back and think for a while before answering you. We have shared enough about our experiences that by now you should know that many strange things happen that just can not be explained nor explained away. You have been privy to enough of my experiences to know just how strange they can get. I think I have somewhat of an explaination for you however.

For several reasons you were very uptight about that graduation. The biggest thing that was getting to you was Dennis not being there(in the flesh) to see your son granduate with you. You were very distraught about the whole situation. It is my belief that Dennis not only found a way to let you know that he sees (do you believe finding that film at this time was an accident?) what is going on but to give you something good and positive about him to hold on to. It was his gift to you. A gift to help ease you through some very hard days when you see the other pictures and he is not in them.

You already know about one of my experiences that was probably the strangest of all I have had. The day of my haircut before I left Escondido. I think that I will share it with everyone here because it too seemed impossible.

I was preparing once again to move. My future was very uncertain and I was not sure that I had made the right decision. On top of that I was living through the aniversary dates of Johnny's last week. Add to that the fact that I had grown very attatched to some of the people that i was caring for and you will understand why my already battered heart was taking another beating. I needed Johnny! Something good of him to remember not just watching him die.

I went to a small strip mall around the corner from my house. Like the one I had gone to in Washington the place I chose that day was next to a grocery store. When I walked through the door I got an unusual feeling. I felt like something was pulling at me but chose to ignore it. When I sat in the chair I couldn't ignore that feeling any more. That place was layed out exactly like the one in Washington. The whole time that I sat there I was back in Washington. I was not remembering a particular day. I was living it again.

I could see every store and every tree in the parking lot. I watched all of the land marks pass on my drive home. Every house and every stop sign was there. I could almost feel myself turning into the parking lot. I felt myself get out of the car and walk toward our apartment. Then I passed the window and looked in to see Johnny sitting on the side of the bed awake from his nap. It was so real that when I walked out of that place I expected to be back in time. Back to the time that those things had really happened. Needless to say I was very upset when I realized that I was not there. For a minute my pain was almost unbearable then I started feeling like I had been given a very special gift from Johnny.

Still to this day I don't understand what happened to me or the reason for it. I have just come to accept that at that time I needed desperately something of Johnny to hold on to. I needed one good day. One good hour! Despite my disappointment I had that. It really was a gift. A very special gift

There are some things that we are just not meant to understand. I believe that what happened with that picture you found and that special hour that I found that day were two of those things. Never the less they were what we needed. Isn't that all that really matters

[Ann]

Thanks so much to those of you that replied to my post. I have to tell you that yesterday afternoon I felt as if I was losing my mind! I stopped by a friend's house on the way home to show her this picture. She and I had already discussed the photo on the phone so I just wanted her opinion. She agreed immediately that the picture had to have been taken while Dennis was ill. Her husband (a retired investigator for the state attorney's office) is very skeptical about these types of things so she and I try to keep discussion about this type of thing away from his ears! When he came into the room, I handed the picture to him. He said.." When was this taken...about 3 or 4 months before he died?" So, thanks so much for the posts. They help me to confirm that I have a wee bit of sanity remaining!