Guest wmnroar Posted August 6, 2004 Share Posted August 6, 2004 My mother was recently diagnosed with SCLC State IV. She is 70 years old and has had emphysema for years . . . because of her general health she has chosen not to have treatment since the chemo could have possibly killed her quicker then the cancer. The oncologist told us she had a few weeks to live and now the hospice nurse is telling us that she has longer than we think. We are all very scared and apprehensive because we don't know what to expect and are now very confused about how long she actually has . . . not sure if there are questions we should have asked the oncologist and just didn't have the knowledge to know what to say. The cancer has spread to her liver and her liver is very enlarged . . . her bone biopsy came back clear so we know it hasn't spread to her bones yet . . . input please . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babesdaughter Posted August 6, 2004 Share Posted August 6, 2004 No one knows how long someone has.....anything that any one tells you is an "average" based on experiences of many, many people combined. My Mom is also very ill with NSCLC. She is on a hospice program, too. I really wouldn't get too wrapped around the axle looking for answers to the "how long" question. It's a matter of dealing with "right now".....making your Mom's life AND death the best it can be. Use every single service that your Hospice program is offering...and if they aren't meeting the needs of your Mom and your family.....find another service immediately. Whatever the amount of time you have, it's too short to mess with caregivers/medical folks that aren't meeting your needs. Good luck to you in your journey.....keep in touch. You are not alone! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted August 6, 2004 Share Posted August 6, 2004 I ditto everything that babesdaughter said. Sometimes people pass quickly, and sometimes they remain with us for a long time. That's how they come up with the averages. Your mom might have a ton of good days coming her way, and that's what I'm going to be praying for. Enjoy each and every one of them! God bless your mom, and you and your family, Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoniRobertWilson Posted August 6, 2004 Share Posted August 6, 2004 We too juggled with all the information given to us by doctors on how long, how long, how long...It is just different for everyone. I just have to say enjoy each day, keep negative feelings down if you can. Say whatever you want to say TODAY. I always wish for one more day with Robert to finish the thoughts but then I realize one more day just isn't enough. The nurse came in to check on Robert about 5 minutes before died and she didn't say a word about it. He went when we was ready, not when they said he was leaving. Just try and love your mom as much as you can. Best of luck and God bless Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest wmnroar Posted August 7, 2004 Share Posted August 7, 2004 Thank you all for you advice and comments . . . Joni I am so sorry for your recent loss and will keep you in my prayers. The proverbs quote at the bottom of your reply really brought me back to where my trust should be . . . Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding - Proverbs 3:5 . . . it is very hard at this time to keep my Trust in the Lord in the forefront and your gentle reminder was much needed. Mom continues to hold her own and stay strong. One of our greatest fears is that we will miss her last lucid day. All of us (me and 4 siblings) work full time and have children of our own so it is difficult trying to find the balance . . . my advice to my siblings and family members continues to be to do what feels right in their hearts and they will be fine . . . Everyone's prayers are very appreciated. Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babesdaughter Posted August 7, 2004 Share Posted August 7, 2004 Mom continues to hold her own and stay strong. One of our greatest fears is that we will miss her last lucid day. All of us (me and 4 siblings) work full time and have children of our own so it is difficult trying to find the balance . . . my advice to my siblings and family members continues to be to do what feels right in their hearts and they will be fine . . . Everyone's prayers are very appreciated. Lisa It is a difficult balance. Does your Mom live close? You are certainly eligible for FMLA leave if that appeals to you. I have moved my Mom in with me, I don't have siblings that will help....fortunately, I'm a slave to the government and therefore, blessed with ample leave. You absolutely will not regret taking time off work to do this.....involve your kids, it's important that they see how a loving, caring family tends to their elderly or sick members. It's an incredible gift to give your kids. My eleven year old daughter participates in the care of her grandmother every day. Not the extreme things, but she gets her food and drinks; she fluffs her pillows and reads to her. She knows her limitations and has a standing "kitchen pass" to go to a friends house or retreat to her bedroom sanctuary if it all gets to much for her. I think years from now (when she may be taking care of me ) this will be a bittersweet memory for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeanCarl Posted August 7, 2004 Share Posted August 7, 2004 Lisa, I'm sorry you had to seek us out, but VERY glad you found us. Mostly I can just echo what others have already said. The important thing to think about is that your Mom is alive TODAY. The "how long" question will answer itself. Please note there is a forum here for folks who, for whatever reason, are not getting agressive treatment for their disease. Please visit "The Path Less Travelled" forum and check out some of the posts there. Dean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renee_ky Posted August 7, 2004 Share Posted August 7, 2004 Lisa- There is nothing I can add, everyone has given you the best advice. I just want to say that I am sorry that you and your family have to endure the pain of watching a loved one slip away from you. My prayer is that your Mother will have many good days ahead of her, and that you all can add to the good memories you already have. Prayers and best wishes! Renee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fall54 Posted August 8, 2004 Share Posted August 8, 2004 I have no experience in anyone that has sclc . My brother has nsslc. Forget the time frames. Make memories now and love her to peices. You are both in my prayers. God bless you both, Jane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fall54 Posted August 8, 2004 Share Posted August 8, 2004 I'm sorry I had more thoughts after I posted. Talk , talk and then talk some more. Leave nothing left unsaid. I am not saying she is going to pass away soon but dont set yourself up for regrets later for things left unsaid. Even if it is grabbing her up and telling her how very much you love her and if something happens how very much she will be missed. Again my prayers to you both. God bless you both, Jane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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