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Hope--could be a potentially sensitive subject


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I was up most of the night thinking about the word, "Hope" and somehow "knowing" that David A was not going to make it. I only "knew" this because I think he "knew" it, too, based on his last post. I don't know how I feel about what I thought I "knew" but I did find this article, written by a Dr. that talks about "Hope" as if it were a prescription that Drs. need to prescribe, and it talks about overdosing on "Hope"-- It's long, so I will only post the link to it.

I think it is a very "hopeful" article. I know sometimes people write that their Doctors have taken away a patient's hope--I guess it depends on the definition one uses of "hope"--. I haven't come to my own definition of "hope," and I am trying to do it. I often wish for someone to hash these things out with. I have spent my whole life hashing ideas out with people, and find that the journey I am now on (actually have been on since my birth, not that I realized it) is a very lonely one.

If you find the first part of the article kind of hard to follow (like I did), go ahead and skip down some and read that first. Later I went back and deciphered the medical terminology.


love and fortitude


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I guess the hardest lesson we ALL learn is that we come into the world alone (and naked) and go out alone, as well. Although our journey through life may include some very dear companions, in the end, we are left to ourself.

Friends make the day-to-day easier, the trials bearable, living enjoyable...and in some cases, friends are there to ease us into the next plane. All one can really hope for is a gentle crossing to the other side.

Strains from an old country song run through my head, "The Reverend Mr. Black"

You've got to walk that Lonesome Valley,

you've got to walk it by yourself,

oh, nobody else can walk it for you,

you've got to walk it by yourself...

Anytime you want to debate and wander around in your head, PM me. If you want to talk in person, let me know and I'll send you my phone number.



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I read the article and the context I believe was hope is a vital part to recovery, conversely if you have no hope one gives up. My particular situation for hope was based on knowing that the medical community says stage IV has a mean survival of 7-8 months, and knowing that I had been at stage IV for that amount of time prior to diagnosis, was a hope draining thought. When the doctor read stage IV into his Dictaphone thing I asked him, “how long do I have” he laughed and said, “your healthy” pissed me off, I wanted to know what to expect. During the next month I point blank asked three times my prognosis, each time he ignored me other than to say ask me in three months. My doctor left me with my own devices to find out how long I would be around. Admittedly, for a brief period I thought I would not be around long and I started preparing, however, in the meantime I learned all I could and did all I could with only the thought that I would maybe lengthen my time and be more comfortable. As I became more comfortable that snowballed into hope and that helped create more drive to survive. Now my goal is nothing short of survival and hope gave me that goal.

Personally I believe one finds true hope through their own psyche, not through their Dr or Nurse. That being said I believe they can knock you down fast by telling you a predestined time frame.

And, Elaine if I had to say one thing was dominant in my life it has to be that I have spent it “hashing out” what in in the world is it all about.

Anyway y’all keep on hoping and searching for hope, it is somewhere.

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Thanks so much for the link Elaine. Like Becky, I believe that when it comes down to the wire, each of us is alone. I believe that many cancer patients and their families lose "hope" when their doctor gives them the statistics for survival. I know this issue has been tossed around here quite a lot lately. My husband never knew (or wanted to know) what the statistics were, thus he had "hope" right up to the very end and was fighting like mad to survive. I know that my will and spirit had been severely beaten down since the first time I heard those staggering numbers.

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I don't look to the traditional medical community for "hope". When my mother was diagnosed, we knew there was not going to be a cure. I knew it in my heart before the tests even began.

At that time, I sort of switched gears......from a "save her" point of view to a "comfort and protect her" point of view. My "hope" lies in a daily belief that I'm doing the best that I can for her. Her physical needs, emotional needs and whatever else rears it's ugly head along the way.

I "hope" that I"m doing the right things at the right time for the right reasons.....and trust that God will give me that direction.

I don't know how to respond to it other than the situation that I'm in, I guess that's all any of us have.

The Hospice folks give me a different kind of hope every day.....they are teaching me compassion on a different level than I've ever experienced. They are teaching me that life is just "like this" sometimes, you can't change it, but you can change how you react to it.

"Hope" you all have a peaceful day.....

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