SDianneB Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 This is "good news" for me, as it's about some things that have bubbled around in my mind lately, and I've finally made some decisions that I think will help me stay on a positive course. Today marked the halfway point in the radiation therapy, and I had a CT scan this morning so they can plan out the remaining half. Last week I was to have started round 4 chemo, but platelets were down to around 85,000 and they wanted them around 100,000 for chemo, so put it off until yesterday. Platelets were "well over 300,000" - wow, what a difference! To coincide with the end of the chest radiation will be the follow up CT/PET scan and a "see where we are" meeting. I will see the Oncologist, and then back to the Radiation Oncologist to discuss and schedule PCI which will start after I've had a few weeks break from chest radiation and chemo. So far, so good, but now the little pinches of fear have to do with withdrawal, I think! As long as they are frying my chest every day and I'm taking chemo, I feel like I'm DOING something to rid myself of the bad cells. When that slows down or stops, I am prepared to have to mentally adjust to the difference. Oh well -- will come to that soon enough, I guess. The big decision I've made is that once I'm done with this last CT/PET scan and have seen the Oncologist (Dr. Gloom & Doom), I have an appointment the next week with the Pulmonologist -- my hero. When I see him, I am going to tell him that I prefer to follow up with him and my primary care doc for diagnostic matters, and if I need any more chemo or need an Oncologist from then on, I want someone else. I've really had it up to *here* with this Oncologist, and from what I've seen of some of the others in his practice, he's really just a cold fish, and I don't need someone like that on my team. A different Oncologist in that practice would confer with him about the treatment anyway, and they all work together on protocols, so I will be just as well off technically speaking as I ever was. If this Oncologist wants to know why I made this decision, I have no problem telling him, as I will be telling the Pulmonologist and have already told my primary care doc. I was just mentally exhausted with all the "what ifs" and 2nd guessing I was doing with this Oncologist, and decided that I did NOT need that in my life, and that I was going to get rid of it once and for all. So there! ttthhhppptttt As for now, I'm still feeling good -- was feeling extra good in the few days I had waiting on platelets to come back up! -- have good strength, still able to work, hardly any side effects, still have my hair (or will have it until they hit me with PCI!!), and feel really positive about my life in general. Before being attacked by the scourge, I had no guarantee about how long my life here on earth would be, and I still don't have one, and don't want one. I will do what I can as long as I can, and that's all I can do. Dianne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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