cheryl k Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 Today is one week since my brother died, shy of one hour. I miss him so much. I feel so sad but sadder for his boys and his wife. At his funeral the priest said we can still have a relationship with David but on a different level. I am trying hard to do that but don't seem to know how yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fay A. Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 Dear Cheryl, Give yourself time...it will happen. ((((Cheryl))))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nushka Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 I am so sorry you are having to go through this. David was a much loved person. We loved him here through his posts and I am sure you loved him many times that much. I know it sounds trite, but life does go on and it will for you when you have had time to grieve. He will always be with you in your memories. Nina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 Cheryl, I am glad to see you here. I am sorry we did not meet at the funeral. David told me a lot about you. I hope you will read through his posts and jokes, it will bring you closer to him. Rochelle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathy Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 Cheryl, I know its hard to believe but you will find the way, everything is way to new right now.. It is so hard when wonderful people are ripped right out of our lives..I am glad you're here, it helps to be around those who understand.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeeTaa Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 Cheryl, Add me to the long list of those mourning the loss of David along with you and your family. And I'm only ten days ahead of you in trying to figure out "how to have a relationship on a different level" with my own brother, but I'm probably not much closer than you. I really think we have to get through some of this grief before we can find our way to that relationship. Please PM me, ViVi, or Teacake (TBone's other sisters) if you need to talk. Praying for us all, TeeTaa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ViVi Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 Dear Cheryl, I wish I could help but I'm afraid I'm not too good at that right now. Sometimes I think I have it all together and then all of a sudden tears will be streaming down my face as I remember a particular moment with TBone, or as I attempt to try something on this 'puter and can't figure out how and don't have him to email for a quick answer, or when I look at his beautiful children and wife who have that look of loss in their eyes, or when I fix the chicken and biscuits dish that he loved so much during his last few months (when he could still eat), or when I look out across the pond and remember all the good times we've shared there, or when I look out my window and remember seeing him pacing around the pond this time last year as he hit rock bottom and I remember shedding tears then because he looked so lonely. Little did we know what the year would bring. But we WILL survive and we WILL go on because the pond is still here and ready to be fished, the computer is still here and I'll manage to master (or at least get through) my tasks, there's still chicken to cook, all our children are back in school and having fun with friends, his wife is back at work and handling the financial affairs, MeMa is back going to the Sr. Center every day, TeeTaa is busy as ever (well, almost) doing all her volunteering, Teacake is replanning our sister trip to NYC, etc., etc., etc. And I've learned something - every time those tears come, I concentrate real hard on making them happy tears instead of sad tears by replacing memories that I had rather forget, like those last few weeks of his life, with memories that I want to remember forever, like watching his childhood delight every time he dug up an earthworm to go in his fishbait bucket, or his delight in catching the 'biggest' fish or watching as one of the kids caught it, or those beautiful days of reconciliation, understanding, and communication as we celebrated his sobriety even as we mourned his cancer diagnosis. There are so many good memories that one day I know they will overshadow the sad memories and all (at least most) of my tears will be happy tears. I know that because my Daddy died of lung cancer 30 years ago and finally it has come to pass. After a certain time, it seems that each day got a little easier, with fewer tears and more smiles than the day before. I'll be glad when that 'certain time' has lapsed for you and for me and for Tee Taa and for Teacke and for all the others on this board who have lost loved ones. A new day - may it dawn tomorrow! Praying for us all, ViVi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie B Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 ((((((((((((((((((((CHERYL)))))))))))))))))) I'm so very sorry! David is with you always. His bright shining star will shine upon you forever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheryl k Posted August 17, 2004 Author Share Posted August 17, 2004 Thanks to all of you who responded to my post. I was looking at pictures of David today and of his boys and Mary Ann. I did a lot of crying but it felt good to see his face. My husband Tom and I were at the hospital with David when he had the last proceedure. The anesthesiologist came in and was asking David about his daily medications. He listed them for the Dr. and I was shocked. David never complained to me ever about pain nor did he ever act like he was in pain. I could hear his breathing and could notice the effort it took him to speak but he was so brave! When we talked, we talked about our kids and spouses and what we were both up to. David always wanted to know what was on my mind, what I was concerned with. And then he would tell me he was praying for me and my family. He was a good brother. cheryl k Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davidscuz Posted August 18, 2004 Share Posted August 18, 2004 Cheryl, You and all my fabulous cousins are in my prayers every day. Read David's posts, look at his pictures, and share his stories with his boys and his wife. And weep. The wounds will heal over time. Love, Marj Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheryl k Posted August 19, 2004 Author Share Posted August 19, 2004 Thanks Marj Cheryl K. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
norme Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 My dear Cheryl K, I to miss DavidA. He was one terrific man. He would e-mail me just a line to make sure I was okay now that my husband to passed of this horrible lc. this past New Years Eve, my husband was sleeping and I was tired and a little lonely so I thought I would see if anyone was online. there was DavidA and he and I chatted along with either BobMc or DAvidC. Not sure which one but do know it was David. We chatter for a short time when he said he needed to see to his boys for it was almost midnight and he wanted to be with them. I will remember him this coming New Years Eve and everyone after that. Time does somehow help us to keep going and the good memories do come back and we can smile again but it all takes time. I lost my brother in 98 to lc and my sister in 96 to heart attack and miss them both dearly. I now think of them fondly without tears. My Buddy is another story. I still tear when he comes to my mind. That is going to take years to go away. But that is okay. Life does go on and we somehow go on with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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