stand4hope Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 Some faithful members aren't posting much, or not at all, and I know why: We've had a lot of grief, have lost some of our precious "rocks", and all that sadness has been iced with too much off-topic negativity. It's sad when a negative post receives four times more hits and responses than one of our members who is crying for help. I am just as guilty as everyone else. I am drawn to the negative posts as well as the rest - it's just normal human nature. And yes, it drags down my mental attitude. I am going to throw out two suggestions to everyone reading this thread and that is to please overcome the negativity by doing two things: 1. Ignore it and don't respond to it, and 2. Flood the board with messages of love, hope and caring to those that need it. I mean it FLOOD IT!!!!!!!! Again, I'm confessing guilt to no. 1 above, but from now on I promise to hold my tongue. Please understand that I am NOT talking about the times when you need to vent, rant or whine about whatever - whether it's justified or not - I think everyone agrees that is ok. You feel how you feel, and in most cases, you are looking for ways to get through whatever it is that's troubling you. I think everyone knows the kind of stuff I'm talking about. We have had approximately eight new members this week alone and every one of them needs every one of our welcome posts. Remember what it was like when you were new and so scared. Even though the posts sometimes feel repetitious because we’ve done it so many times, they ARE NOT repetitious to the new person OR to the person who has been in our family for a while and is in need of help, advice, someone to talk to, or a shoulder to cry on. My point is this: Yes, we’ve lost some very precious rocks (better-named GEMS), but guess what, we have a 1300 other GEMS here that need our love and support, and if we welcome them, they will become as precious and valuable to us as the Mo's, TBone's, DavidA's, Earl's, etc. And, yes, we’ve had some negativity, but the Bible says: “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:21). We can do that!!!!! No problem! I hope all of our solid, regular posters that are lurking in the shadows will come back as soon as possible. We need you here – at least I know I definitely need you here. God bless you all, Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hebbie Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 Peggy -- well said and thanks for the much-needed reminder! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tnmynatt Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 Peggy, Thanks! I needed that reminder, also. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaneC Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 Peggy, Great message! Jane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renee_ky Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 Thank you Peggy. Renee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babesdaughter Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 For what it's worth, as a new member......I felt warmly welcomed and embraced from my first trembling post. It has become a ritual for me to check in......emotions are still very raw and it does help to hear encouraging words.....those written for me and those written to others. This is a good place, you should all be very proud of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nushka Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 Thanks Peggy. Nina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 Right on target, Peggy. Thanks. Melinda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 OK, Peggy, Will remember your words. J.C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 Bullseye! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angie Daughter of Bill Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 I agree! A couple of things that my grandmother ALWAYS said to me was.........If you don't have something nice to say, then just don't say anything.............and, pretty is as pretty does. I always try to remember these things. (especially here) All of us who have a need to be here do not need negativity..........we need love, compassion and support. (and a little southern hospitality ) Thanks Peggy! Angie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 Thanks Peggy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remembering Dave Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 Peggy, Peggy, Peggy!! You hit my nail right on the head. When I first joined I posted all the time to everyone here and each and every newcomer......then Bart Ziggy passed. He and I had actually met on another board and eventually both came here. He was initially diagnosed with SCLC just like me (although he was rediagnosed later) and was diagnosed the same week I was or maybe one week apart, can't remember at this point. We had a little special bond going. When he passed he took the wind right out of my soul. I took it very, very hard and found it difficult to post much..........still do. And when someone else passes it is still dificult. I even snapped at a member who I really should have been, and am, thankfull for his support and fellowship. I was so upset at the time I took things and twisted it in my mind but I really regret the words said then (Sorry Joe). This is a rollercoaster ride and when someone you have developed a special relationship with dies it is difficult emotionally, especially if you are one of us here who are fighting this terible disease. If you are a caregiver please don't think I am trying to diminish your feelings. I guess maybe I should just say that It effects me as a fighter very deeply. It really makes me wonder about my determination not to let this get me ( I beat it once and will beat it again). I try not to get involved in any negativity but like you said Peggy, it is human nature. And you are also correct in that we need to make sure that we are there for the newcomers who are just starting thier journey. It may have become old to some of us but they really need our help and support. I, for one, have been terrible in this area and will try to do better. Thank you Peggy for your post. David C Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvmydog2 Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 I agree with the others. There are people out there crying for our help. Yes, I said our. Let's see if we can move on and help them the way others helped us when we first posted here. Now everyone, let's try to and move on. I posted on this subject in another thread in case someone may have missed it... http://www.lchelp.com/community/viewtopic.php?t=10301 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 Angie...you forgot "don't sink to their level" or is that just northern Grandmas that say that? Yes, lets all move on. Rochelle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bean_si (Not Active) Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 Cat, Everyone on the board is human (as far as I know!) so I am sure everyone does some judging and it's hard not to. Not to say it's right or anything, but just to let you know what you probably already know: you're not alone. I wish we didn't do it and I find when I do do it, that I am really judging something in myself. Frued just may have been right about projection. Though he certainly got women wrong! elaine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bean_si (Not Active) Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 I need this board. I need each and everyone of you. I don't understand negativity. This dam* disease has enough negativity just by itself. I don't want my friends to take breaks (only for vacations). We are a diverse and interesting group, but we come together for the same cause, to help, support and care for people who are suffering from lung cancer and caring for a lung cancer patient. We are here to raise awareness of this disease hopefully to get more funding for research. I have just requested my friends and family to send donations here in memory of my dear Earl. Please, let them see what we really are, let's not get lost. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 Peggy ,I'll try to post the newcomers more as well.I have slipped at that.It sometimes seems that our family is growing in leaps and bounds,& it is difficult to respond to everyone all the time,but if we all work at it liike you said all newcomers should recieve ample attention.Thank you for an eye opening post that hopefully will improve things.(except mabe my typing,ha,ha.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bean_si (Not Active) Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeeTaa Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 I'll add one to Angie's "southern hospitality" lines of advice from my, TBone, ViVi, and Teacake's Mama: "Be sweet, pretty, good, nice, and behave yourself." (Sure wish I had a dollar for every time I've heard this one!) So proud to be a part of this on-line family as well. Praying for us all, TeeTaa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SandyS Posted August 24, 2004 Share Posted August 24, 2004 Oh Peggy - how true! I usually manage to keep my mouth shut........but it's really hard sometimes! Hugs for everyone! SandyS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa O Posted August 24, 2004 Share Posted August 24, 2004 That was so well said. So many people have helped me here. Our community has suffered a horrible number of losses and many are going through some pretty scary times right now. It creates tension but we can try to use our energy to pull eachother up instead of using the energy against one another. Some of our beloved members may have passed on in body, but they can still be here by way of influence. We have a wonderful family. I hope we can remember that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dadstimeon Posted August 24, 2004 Share Posted August 24, 2004 Well said Peggy! Rich Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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