Amy P Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 OK Ladies - I am trying to help out with this one (I shouldn't share this but my hubby is definately #8 ) NOTE: All "real men" answer "C" to all of these questions. Knowing this, women will have come far in understanding men and enriching their own lives if they carefully review the "C" answers. 1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth. You decide to: A. Present it to the President of the United States. B. Present it to the Secretary General of the United Nations. C. Take it apart. 2. As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life do you miss the most? A. Innocence. B. Idealism. C. Cherry bombs. 3. When is it okay to kiss another male? A. When you wish to display simple and pure affection without regard for narrow-minded social conventions. B. When he is the Pope. (Not on the lips.) C. When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and this is the only really sportsman-like way to let him know that, for business reasons, you are about to have him killed. 4. In your opinion, the ideal pet is: A. A cat. B. A dog. C. A dog that eats cats. 5. You have been seeing a woman for several years. She's attractive and intelligent, and you always enjoy being with her. One leisurely Sunday afternoon the two of you are taking it easy. You're watching a football game; she's reading the papers when she suddenly, out of the clear blue sky, tells you that she thinks she really loves you, but she can no longer bear the uncertainty of not knowing where your relationship is going. She says she's not asking whether you want to get married; only whether you believe that you have some kind of future together. What do you say? A. That you sincerely believe the two of you do have a future, but you don't want to rush it. B. That although you also have strong feelings for her, you cannot honestly say that you'll be ready anytime soon to make a lasting commitment, and you don't want to hurt her by holding out false hope. C. That you cannot believe the Broncos called a draw play on third and seventeen. 6. Okay, so you have decided that you truly love a woman and you want to spend the rest of your life with her, sharing the joys and the sorrows the world has to offer, come what may. How do you tell her? A. You take her to a nice restaurant and tell her after dinner. B. You take her for a walk on a moonlit beach, and you say her name, and when she turns to you, with the sea breeze blowing through her hair and the stars in her eyes, you tell her. C. Tell her what? 7. One weekday morning your wife wakes up feeling ill and asks you to get your three children ready for school. Your first question to her is: A. "Do they need to eat or anything?" B. "They're in school already?" C. "There are three of them?" 8. When is it okay to throw away a set of veteran underwear? A. When it has turned the color of a dead whale and developed new holes so large that you're not sure which ones were originally intended for your legs. B. When it is down to eight loosely connected underwear molecules and has to be handled with tweezers. C. It is never okay to throw away veteran underwear. A real guy checks the garbage regularly in case somebody (and we are not naming names, but this would be his wife) is quietly trying to discard his underwear (which she is frankly jealous of because the guy seems to have a more intimate relationship with it than with her). 9. What, in your opinion, is the most reasonable explanation for the fact that Moses led the Israelites all over the place for forty years before they finally got to the Promised Land? A. He was being tested. B. He wanted them to really appreciate the Promised Land when they finally got there. C. He didn't need to ask for directions, as he was sure he would recognize where he was somewhere over the next hill. 10. What is the human race's single greatest achievement? A. Democracy. B. Religion. C. TV Remote control. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 Unlike Frank and John who often OVER ESTIMATE the point value of a joke, I am going to UNDERESTIMATE this one at about 1,000. Right, Debi? Right, Ry? Right, Nina? elaine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debi Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 By all means Elaine... I actually signed in, just to post to this. This joke is perfect Amy, and the answers just about sum up every man I have ever known except my son. He is still young enough that I have not YET given up all hope..... Easily worth 1,000 points... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nushka Posted August 24, 2004 Share Posted August 24, 2004 At least 1000 points. At least! Nina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvmydog2 Posted August 24, 2004 Share Posted August 24, 2004 Uhhhhh.....about 750 maybe. You ladies are asking for it now. Just wait and see. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angie Daughter of Bill Posted August 24, 2004 Share Posted August 24, 2004 Yep.........at least 1,000 points!!! I loved it!! For what it's worth, my hubby is guilty of #8 also. Not just underwear, but a t-shirt, a jacket........you name it. He wants to keep everything! Thanks!! Angie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted August 24, 2004 Share Posted August 24, 2004 Minimum 1,000 points........maybe a bit more J.C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted August 24, 2004 Share Posted August 24, 2004 Debi...don't even try to pretend your little guy wouldn't take apart the device to save the world... Yep Elaine...lots of points just on number 1! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted August 24, 2004 Share Posted August 24, 2004 Earl had a pair of shorts that he wore when puttering. The pockets were longer than the shorts. Lots of neighbors knew him well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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